- Nov 29, 2009
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So if she's crying it's for a good reason. Then, yes, you should be there. If it's crying for crying's sake then you're doing her a disservice by not teaching her how to handle life's ups and downs.
Attitudes
- Thread starter CoachWill
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So if she's crying it's for a good reason. Then, yes, you should be there. If it's crying for crying's sake then you're doing her a disservice by not teaching her how to handle life's ups and downs.
One of the many mistakes I made last year was a girl just plain missed a fly ball and was hit in the head, it had to hurt. She was crying, I would have been too. We took her off the field and put another girl in her place. Inning was not going well for us and took long enough where the girl that got hurt settled down. I asked her if she wanted to go back out there, it was her position. She said no. Tell me when you want to get back out there it is your position when you want it. Never happened.
If I had to do it over again I would not have given her a choice. Once she settled down and was feeling OK I should have put her back in her position. I know that violates the rules but I do not care and I would hope the other Manager did not care either.
If I had to do it over again I would not have given her a choice. Once she settled down and was feeling OK I should have put her back in her position. I know that violates the rules but I do not care and I would hope the other Manager did not care either.
I know Sparky has coach a lot of girls. So, how many times have you seen a girl burst into ears *DURING* a game? Not after the game, but *DURING* a game on the field?
I've coached softball, basketball and soccer (rec and travel). I had three play sports all four years of high school. One lettered in four sports in high school. Two played all through college. I have watched literally thousands of sporting events involving girls (tennis, water polo, track, baseball, basketball, volleyball, cross country, softball, swimming and soccer), beginning at 6U t-ball.
Other than girls crying after getting hurt during a game, I've seen only one girl sob during a sporting event. She was an 11 YOA pitcher (Sparky knows her) who threw a temper tantrum when Daddy took his DD out of the game after she walked 4 batters in a row.
(I remember one game where my DD broke the ankle of a girl from Sparky's organization, and that little girl didn't even tear up.)
When a girl starts sobbing regularly in the middle of a softball, there is a problem. I personally don't believe coaches are good family counselors. So, that is why I put the whole thing back on the parents to straighten it out.
I've coached softball, basketball and soccer (rec and travel). I had three play sports all four years of high school. One lettered in four sports in high school. Two played all through college. I have watched literally thousands of sporting events involving girls (tennis, water polo, track, baseball, basketball, volleyball, cross country, softball, swimming and soccer), beginning at 6U t-ball.
Other than girls crying after getting hurt during a game, I've seen only one girl sob during a sporting event. She was an 11 YOA pitcher (Sparky knows her) who threw a temper tantrum when Daddy took his DD out of the game after she walked 4 batters in a row.
(I remember one game where my DD broke the ankle of a girl from Sparky's organization, and that little girl didn't even tear up.)
When a girl starts sobbing regularly in the middle of a softball, there is a problem. I personally don't believe coaches are good family counselors. So, that is why I put the whole thing back on the parents to straighten it out.
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- Nov 29, 2009
- 2,974
- 83
I had a pitcher whose dad turned her into a real head case. We were struggling in a game that should not have been close. She was on the rubber throwing a lot of pitches to get hitters out. The ump was not giving the high strike at all and she was having trouble keeping the ball down in the strike zone.
We were heading back out on defense when she comes up to me in tears and says she doesn't want to pitch anymore, she didn't like the umpire. Long story short I told her she can't control the ump, only herself and I wanted her to go out there and give me her best effort and get the first batter out. In the mean time daddy is sitting there saying he can't believe I put her back out there when she's crying. She ended up K'ing the side that inning. After the game I told daddy what happened and all he could say she was crying out there. All I could do was walk away shaking my head.
- Jan 20, 2010
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At 10u you have varying degrees of maturity. If you sign up to coach a team at that level you need to know how to deal with them. She is upset that she made a mistake and doesn't know how to deal with her emotions so she cries. Some girls get mad. Some girls shut down. What is the big deal? She is 10. You need to look her eye to eye and remind her that major league baseball players do exactly what she did every day. She needs to take a deep breath and try to do better next time.
I have had 10u pitchers in tears on the mound in pretty high tense situations because they were being squeezed or couldn't find the zone. By just letting them know everything is OK and nobody is upset with them...it is just a game and you are doing your best....I think the percentage of next pitch strikes was about 98%.
I have had 10u pitchers in tears on the mound in pretty high tense situations because they were being squeezed or couldn't find the zone. By just letting them know everything is OK and nobody is upset with them...it is just a game and you are doing your best....I think the percentage of next pitch strikes was about 98%.
There are a lot of men here, trying to figure out female's emotions . It ain't going to happen.
- Nov 29, 2009
- 2,974
- 83
I have what I feel is very good ability to read young girls emotions and thought processes as well as their abilities. I've been dealing with the same age groups for the last 7 years. The biggest difference I found between them is the maturity level. From 9 - 12 years old there can be as much as a 2 year difference in the maturity level between the girls. Many of them have no idea of what they are capable of achieving until they are pushed.
What I have found is they respond best to firm, fair and consistent treatment. I make them responsible to their teammates first, then to themselves. One of them asked me the other day if I was a mind reader because I knew exactly what was going through her mind at the time.
Sure, all of that helps 3 weeks of the month. But, some women are very emotional the 4th week. Pre teens can have a very hard time with it and it is the last thing that they will discuss with their dad.
- Apr 25, 2010
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Amy, I agree with you to a certain extent. We, as women, have to learn to control our emotions during Aunt Flo's visit. So do these young girls. While I don't believe it's necessary to be harsh with them, I do believe that they need to understand that they are responsible for their own behavior and their own reactions to outside stimuli. And yes, it can take quite a while to learn to put a cap on the meltdowns, but it's not like when she's at school, she can flip out in the middle of a test.
Greenmonsters
Wannabe Duck Boat Owner
Can't bite my tongue any longer and have to put in my 2 cents now that the period card has been played. While males will never experience firsthand the hormonal upheaval associated with the female menstrual cycle, there is no "get out jail free" period card that puts life, softball, work and every day obligations and activities on hold. A firm, fair, and consistent approach and compassion for your players, students, children, co-workers etc. is the best approach whether you're male/female and/or working with male/female kids/pre-teens/teens/adults/senior citizens etc. WRT to softball, bottom line is that you can't play to the best of your ability if you're crying, so you don't play until you've regrouped. No need to make a bigger deal of it than that.
And, for good measure, I'll call BS on anyone who claims to completely understand teenagers, male or female.
I waited to post until after I put on my flame-retardant suit - GM
