Don't kill the dream

I've been thinking about writing this for a while...but recently I saw a list of "10 things you probably don't know about Danielle Lawrie" that made me think it was time.

Prominent on this list was the statement (I'm paraphrasing because I don't have the list in front of me) "at age 11 my coach told me to forget about pitching". Obviously I think it is fair to say that that coach was wrong. Ms. Lawrie is a great pitcher making a good living at what she does.

But it did remind me that often as adults we want to protect our kids from failure so we are often susceptible to not being as supportive of "the dream" as we should be. When strangers - even well-intentioned former players, big program coaches, etc. - tell us that "she should give up XYZ and work on ABC - she'll never good enough to play in college", we're selling our kids short.

I'm not saying not to be realistic. I'm not saying spend every extra family dollar on the dream. I'm saying as long as the kid wants to chase the dream and is willing to put in the work, even if it means facing the realization of failure somewhere down the road, we as parents should be "all in". And we need to find coaches/mentors who are willing to be "all in" too...and not just for money.

We only get to travel this road once. As many on this site have said, the time goes by so quickly.

No one (player, parent, coach) should be afraid to chase the dream.

Just one hopeful college bound DD's softball dad's opinion.

Ask Amanda Scarborough what they told her when she was young and starting out pitching. You'll not be able, won't be tall enough, and can't were some of them. Thinking she did okay for herself.

Never give up.

Wonderful advice. A big organization told DD she wasn't good enough to be a pitcher at 11 yo. Thank God it motivated her vs made her quit.

Shes a top notch player and pitcher with great success whose being recruited as a freshman while that org/coach is always begging for pitchers-wonder why based on their ability to "spot talent" lol!

I started my org with that thought in mind shortly after. Now my rosters are full of A level players that were cut from their old teams and told they weren't good enough. I love it when the team that cut a player tries to recruit them back after they play for me-its flattering.

To me its about developing talent not spotting or recruiting it as at this age they all have the ability-it just needs to be nurtured.

That's a great post, SoCal. It's amazing how many people can't wait to tell a kid they can't do this or that. Several years ago I heard a story about a girl I knew being told by the HS coach (who had been a player and should've known better) that she just didn't have a body for softball and should quit. Ironically, the girl outlasted the coach.

As I recall Lisa Fernandez's first pitching coach also told her that pitching wasn't for her and she should find another position. Thankfully, Lisa listened to her mother instead.

Hard work and determination can make up for a whole lot of other deficiencies. Coaches should be in the business of promoting those attributes rather than discouraging kids from achieving what they want. It may be more difficult for some to get there than others, but that doesn't mean the goal should be dismissed out of hand.

I always liked this quote from ad exec Leo Burnett: When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Cue the Aerosmith music.

Totally agree! As long as they will put the work in why not let them go after it!!

I'm saying as long as the kid wants to chase the dream and is willing to put in the work, even if it means facing the realization of failure somewhere down the road, we as parents should be "all in".

Click to expand...

This should be *HER* dream, not *THE* dream.

If you stick around youth sports long enough, you will notice lots of kids being pushed to follow the parents dream.

Angela Tincher is another great example of a pitcher who was told she did not have what it takes. She was left off the 2008 Olympic team and got a chance to show the Olympic coaches the mistake they made.....

This is good stuff! It's also a very good reminder that youth sports coaches probably need to spend less time "evaluating talent" and much more time trying to find kids and parents that have a passion for the game, want to work hard and want to get better. Then, they should spend even more time TEACHING and ENCOURAGING that player. I will readily admit there a few tryout choices I wish I could do over again, but hopefully I've learned from that.

SoCalASABlue said:

I'm saying as long as the kid wants to chase the dream and is willing to put in the work, even if it means facing the realization of failure somewhere down the road, we as parents should be "all in". And we need to find coaches/mentors who are willing to be "all in" too...and not just for money.

We only get to travel this road once. As many on this site have said, the time goes by so quickly.

No one (player, parent, coach) should be afraid to chase the dream.

Click to expand...

I think this is the most interesting part of your post.

It's always inspiring to hear about those who were told they couldn't do it, and then proved them wrong.

But what about those who were told they couldn't, and really couldn't?

Is it still true what TR said, that the credit goes to those ''who at the worst, if (she) fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat"?

I have some anxiety about my DD now that she wants to play in college. She is playing a much stronger schedule next year. She's playing on a new team where the coach really thinks highly of her and believes she can be an impact player. Well, what if she can't? What if she hits .200 next year? What if she's not good enough to play at the college level she wants?

Why don't we hear more about those kids, the ones who fail while daring greatly?

JAD said:

Angela Tincher is another great example of a pitcher who was told she did not have what it takes. She was left off the 2008 Olympic team and got a chance to show the Olympic coaches the mistake they made.....

Click to expand...

That was cool to watch! Thanks for reposting it.