in most cases turn her over to qualified coaches at 12 yo. Even IF you are a very qualified coach yourself, teenage kids will just plain butt heads with their own parents just to test boundaries and limits of authority. This leads to problems frequently. It is often difficult to coach your own kid thru teen yrs, mom and dad are the last person they want to listen too, about anything. If you have a competitive child, one that competes with Dad, to outdo him, or show him hes wrong , you can forget it, they will never listen to him.
When to cut your daughter loose?
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I must be lucky then. My DD listens and trys, been coaching her for 6 years, now in 1st year 14U. In the past I have seen those dad coaches that place their DD above everything else, I don't treat her any different than any other player. I'm not overly hard on her, nor do I let her get away with things. I think because I am honest with her playing abilities, she isn't the best on the team, but isn't the worse either, that it also helps. Yes she pitches... lol ... but she is our #3 pitcher. Nope doesn't play SS... she actually plays CF and loves it.
Yup I am a lucky dad/coach
There is nothing sweeter in the athletic world than for an athlete to fall flat on her face, get benched,and then fight her way back to the top. Daddies who coach take away the chance of extreme failure and extreme success.
A DD needs to learn how to compete with other people for what she wants. In the future, she is going to have to compete for a job, raises, grades, admission to schools, etc. She has to learn how to compete.
The best person in the world to teach her how to compete is a parent. A parent that coaches never helps the kid setup a plan to beat out the other kids on the team. And, the coach/parent doesn't have the time to help the kid practice and work toward that shared goal with his child.
When a Daddy coaches, *he* determines how good his DD is. The DD never has a real opportunity to either move up or move down in the team pecking order. So, Daddy is protecting his DD from failure and limiting her success.
And, a Daddy should treat his DD different from all the other girls in the world.
A DD needs to learn how to compete with other people for what she wants. In the future, she is going to have to compete for a job, raises, grades, admission to schools, etc. She has to learn how to compete.
The best person in the world to teach her how to compete is a parent. A parent that coaches never helps the kid setup a plan to beat out the other kids on the team. And, the coach/parent doesn't have the time to help the kid practice and work toward that shared goal with his child.
When a Daddy coaches, *he* determines how good his DD is. The DD never has a real opportunity to either move up or move down in the team pecking order. So, Daddy is protecting his DD from failure and limiting her success.
And, a Daddy should treat his DD different from all the other girls in the world.
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I agree to a point... Why wouldn't a parent/coach have time to help the DD practice on their own? I sit on the bucket plenty outside of team practice. So just the daddy coaches determine how good the DD is? What will a non-daddy coach do? Determining the abilities is a coaches job regardless if it's a daddy or not. Now I do agree that some daddy/coaches have those rose colored goggles on, but ya know what, so do A LOT of the parents too. Hmmm I must be doing something wrong because DD has failed plenty of times and wasn't protected.
Your right a daddy should treat his DD differently... but a coach should treat all players the same, to include DD
sluggers,
we have a unique problem here in sconie land...if I do not coach she will not advance or play for that matter. must be nice to have other qualified people coach your kids, we are not able to do that here. if parents don't coach no one will and that would be the end of the program. i also disagree with the parent coach not having time to work one on one with their daughters, i make time for that and if it means missing a few hours of sleep or time with my buddies so be it. as far as putting together a "Plan" to beat out the other kids...practice, practice, practice that's our plan.
we have a unique problem here in sconie land...if I do not coach she will not advance or play for that matter. must be nice to have other qualified people coach your kids, we are not able to do that here. if parents don't coach no one will and that would be the end of the program. i also disagree with the parent coach not having time to work one on one with their daughters, i make time for that and if it means missing a few hours of sleep or time with my buddies so be it. as far as putting together a "Plan" to beat out the other kids...practice, practice, practice that's our plan.
I was able to work one on one with my daughter, when I was coaching her. Just not as much as I can now. I can focus only on her. Where in the past, girls were always over, working with her. Until you do both sides, you won't understand, I always tried to treat DD the same as the rest of the girls. But some how some way, I was always tougher on her. To show everyone else, that I didn't play favorites. She has always heard, the only reason you play a certain position, is because your dad is the coach. It happened in high school this year. She was a freshman, made varsity. After she made varsity, the head coach asked me to be his assistant. She still heard, that she made varsity, because I was a coach. Yes, it's jealousy. That's why it was so nice, when she was asked to play on the other travel team. I have never had the chance to just watch her play. And it's great!
fastpitch - great post.
I stopped coaching my dd's team a LONG time ago (but she's going to be coming back to me now that she's starting high school), but I never stopped coaching her. We always discussed things no matter who was coaching her. It works out quite well that way - someone else as her actual team coach, but me there to discuss many, many issues and observations with her.
I'm actually NOT looking forward to having her on a team where I am on staff again. But it's coming up very soon...
I stopped coaching my dd's team a LONG time ago (but she's going to be coming back to me now that she's starting high school), but I never stopped coaching her. We always discussed things no matter who was coaching her. It works out quite well that way - someone else as her actual team coach, but me there to discuss many, many issues and observations with her.
I'm actually NOT looking forward to having her on a team where I am on staff again. But it's coming up very soon...
Thanks for the responses everyone, most said what I already knew but was having a hard time convincing myself of. With that being said we took the offer from the team and it looks like I'll be focusing on my DD's game rather then the whole teams. She is super excited about the prospect of playing with girls that are just as competitive as she is. We let her believe she was making a big part of the decision and she never wavered once in telling us what she wanted.
Only thing she is bummed about is having to trade in her A&M maroon for red and black.
Thanks again everyone for the input.
Chris
Only thing she is bummed about is having to trade in her A&M maroon for red and black.
Thanks again everyone for the input.
Chris
