What now ?

[Ade's Dad]

I have coached my DD's team the last 5 years(8u-12u) . As of july 31st ,I have retired. She has tried out and made a very good 14u team.
Other than practicing with my DD, what are my obligations to her , her team, the other parents of the team and the game of softball itself as a softball parent ?

 

[livingontheroad]

Well, for starters you are her source of tranportation, her coordinator and assistant that organizes and manages her life for her, her source of support and softball funding, her moral support, her teacher and example of how to be a an adult and good person. In short, just a professional athletes have managers, assistants, agents, etc, you are all those things for your daughter too, and will be until she goes to college (if she plays there). You will guide her team choices, her recruitement process, college selection choices, etc. No one else will assist her with these.

You are obligated to her team to have here where she needs to be, keep her training and improving, and support her and her teammates, assist other parents when they need help with schedule conflicts, just as you would like them to help you.

 

[Coach JV]

Try to be the 'model parent' that you would like in the bleachers when you were a coach.
What can you do for the game? Coach in the local rec league in 8U or 10U, this is where development
of a love for the game as much as skill development is crucial.

Be supportive of DD, pick her up when she's down and practice with her. It is difficult to become
an observer, but there comes a time when it is necessary

 

[sluggers]

Other than practicing with my DD, what are my obligations to her , her team, the other parents of the team and the game of softball itself as a softball parent ?

Your role is to support your DD. You have to continue learning about the game, and you have to continue to help her become a better player. You've got to be her best fan and her best critic.

Somehow, someway, you have to get into a position so that you and your DD can discuss softball without the parent/child getting in the way. The discussion is about technique, and not that you are "all knowing parent" and she is "novice child". No one knows her skills better than you do, so you can give her the best advice in the world. But, many parents (and I was one) have trouble breaking through the "parent/child" issue to talk like reasonable human beings about softball (or, for that matter, any issue). E.g., when she makes a mistake, you want to be able to tell her she made a mistake without the discussion going nuclear.

You've coached, so you know what makes a good parent and what makes a bad parent. You want to be known as a good parent.

Continue to learn about softball, attend as many games as you can.

 

[3'sDad]

I have recently retired from coaching DD's team, but do continue to be her practice catcher and practice mate for fielding and hitting. I offer the following; which was passed on to me by other parents who also retired from coaching:

1. Purchase a nice comfortable chair to watch DD play. Bring your cooler and enjoy the game.
2. If you are a vocal parent:
A. Constantly munch sunflower seeds...can't yell to DD if mouth is full of seeds.
B. Move chair to beyond CF fence so the only people to hear you yell are CF and other Dad's keeping you company. May need to be modified slightly if DD is CF.
3. 24 Hour Rule now applies. No discussion of games until 24 hours have passed (unless DD asks)
4. If you care to stay busy, become Picture Dad. Purchase a decent camera and take game pix to post on Shutterfly or the team's website. The parents and coach's will love you.
5. If the coach asks, you can volunteer to keep score or coach 1st base if they are short. Keeping score keeps you inviled in the game.
6. Cheer and encourage DD. You are required to attend games and be there for her when things go wrong and she is looking for Dad. When successful DD looks for her team mates, coach, mom, etc.

Best of Luck.

 

[alexander58]

As a former coach, your most difficult task will be trying to not second guess aloud. There will be probably be times when you'll be screaming inside about a decision. It's a lot easier to be philosophical when you're making the decisions on the field.

 

[Ade's Dad]

Thanks all, I will work on all suggestions . Thanks sluggers for getting me to understand the importance of being my DD's coach instead of her team coach a year ago.

 

[PlanoHeat]

I can tell you it's rough. My daughter played her first games last week that I wasn't on the field or in the dugout. I agree with alexander that not second guessing aloud is the hardest part. Good luck, it is fun getting to watch just your daughter.