The Saga of Rebuilding a School Program: A parent-coach's journal

[PJR202]

Wrapping up the 2022 season, most of the games played out the same. Enthusiasm, optimism, belief in self...then a couple blown routine plays leading to negativity, defeatism, and loss of confidence.

Blown routine plays.

The story of the season.

Missed infield pop-ups, terrible play at first base, lack of awareness, and missing that fire...that mindset to dig in and double down after a botched play. I wholeheartedly believe that most of the run-rule games we lost were mostly just due to blown routine plays. Second chances for an offense can be devastating.

It's just experience. I truly believe we made the most of the time we had. We worked hard on the basics and added more at practice between games. Fundamentally in practice, we were halfway decent, and we ran sessions at times probably 30% over game speed. Rep after sweet rep, and they handled things pretty well.

Somewhere mid-season, we had a stretch of no games and had been struggling with communication amidst chaos. I had this dumb idea to take a page from the football playbook, playing loud music during practice. It seemed like a fun idea until I realized we would probably drown out soccer. As much as I hate soccer and everything it stands for, I still had to amend my plan.

So, loud (but not too loud) music was the plan, but I added more direct interference. Ear plugs. Before practice, I sent a message out to the teamreach group and told the girls to make sure they wear something with pockets. It drove them crazy not knowing why. I mean EVERY single one of them pestered me during warmups, and when I finally broke out the foam plugs, half of them didn't know what they were, and not a single one of them knew how to use them.

So, we got on the field. Music up, plugs in, and took some IF/OF--slow at first, and they did ok. I had my DD1 (HS player, injured) catching-in for me, sans plugs. When I sped up, it was full blown chaos. I would yell where to make the play and they couldn't hear me. They were overthrowing the bases, outfielders were caught off guard, girls were getting mad at each other, and someone got hit with the ball. We're a fairly involved coaching staff during games. We instruct, shift them around, etc, and they didn't have that. It was the meltdown I had hoped for, but I didn't know how it would go after that.

But, to my delight, leaders emerged. DD2 at 3B starts barking commands. Shortstop is pointing. Cuts are waving hard for the OF throw. Outfielders are actually paying attention when I swing the bat. No one wants a line drive to the body. Everyone is freakin paying attention and communicating with their bodies. IF pop-ups are getting wave-offs instead of two or three people getting close and not taking ownership. DD1 was like "Wow. I didn't see that one coming."

It was amazing. At any age, to some degree, we can use our natural intelligence to adapt and overcome.

But you're probably wondering...did they apply it later?

To be honest? Probably not. But, I would do that exercise regularly and find real value in it.

Truthfully though, after our strong outings at the tournament and the exciting win, we only won one more game, which was against the perennial doormat. We run-ruled them, and got no real enjoyment out of it. The kids did I guess, but beating someone like that is only slightly more fun that BEING beaten like that.

We had hoped to play the team we beat, and then the doormat team again, but both games were rained out. Winning those two would have put us close to our goal for the season. I also tried multiple times to schedule the team we beat at the tournament, but it didn't work out. I'm already scheduling for next season, so I'm currently in touch with the tournament host coach, and hopefully can get to that other team through him. Or maybe I'll just call the school. Depending on how pitching work goes before spring, our MS team could be a bit weaker than last year.

Our other main issue was still just hitting. There's such a delicate blend of happenings that keep a team's spirit and fire going. There were a few games against good teams where we managed to eke out a run or two in our first at-bat. That always gets the kids going, but when your 5-9 hitters can't do much, you end up right back in the funk. The routine plays start falling apart, the mental mistakes kick in, and you're right back into the mess. It's just so tough to watch this all go down when you know the kids are capable.

Hitting though...reps, reps, reps. Different looks. Tee work, etc. So much to do, and so little time to do it. If the 2023 team can't knock the tar out of the ball, it's gonna be another long season. I'm not actually gonna coach on the field next season, but I'll be around a lot for pitching work, and filling in on the field for a few games when needed. Regardless, we may push a little more for some of the parents to get the kids set up with hitting lessons.

Something has to give. We just can't get it done giving them 40 swings a week.

 

[PJR202]

True enough. We have been unwilling to go full blast with lessons, practice sessions, etc. and it has showed, but there were plenty of good moments along the way.

It's really hard to get in a groove with that stuff as well. Right now just finding the time and getting her motivated at the same time, has been a challenge. I think part of it is that she's not getting to throw full pitches. Takes all the fun out of it..lol

We had a decent practice last night though, and I sent some video to the guy that helped us a couple weeks ago and he told me what to do next. It's progress.

 

[_MIA_]

Something has to give. We just can't get it done giving them 40 swings a week.

Do any of them hit at home on their own? Lessons are great but if you don’t practice outside of lessons it isn’t worth it..

 

[DryHeat]

Do any of them hit at home on their own? Lessons are great but if you don’t practice outside of lessons it isn’t worth it.

Something has to give. We just can't get it done giving them 40 swings a week.

No kidding. I made some headway with a couple kids in Wreck ball last year, but it's so hard with 12 kids and just a couple hours a week. My DDs had thousands of swings by that point. Batting takes forever to develop if they start late.

 

[PJR202]

Do any of them hit at home on their own? Lessons are great but if you don’t practice outside of lessons it isn’t worth it..

Nope. Not that I'm aware of, at least. I know a couple of them have a net, but despite our best efforts to convince them to work...they don't. My hope is that if they get lessons, the parent may hold them a bit more accountable. There's one that might, but we only have a couple kids who have softball on the mind when they're at home. Most of them have been hitting twice a week since august in open practices though. I've told Wiz he should just hold BP 3-4 days a week in the spring instead of primarily working on defense, and I'm mostly serious.

Even DD2 and I don't hit much, although that's changing. Wiz is working with her while I help his kid with pitching. DD2 voices her concerns about hitting and I intend to address them, but we (maybe I), are 100% focused on getting these pitching changes implemented, and there's not enough time to do both.

I'm just super concerned about her being safe and competent. The HS coach WILL throw her a lot (at a minimum in JV), no matter how bad it goes.

Time is so rare right now. I'm supposed to be teaching her sister to drive too. She can get her license in November and we only have 10 of the 60 required hours since May. She works 2-3 nights a week and FFA stuff is almost as busy as playing a sport.

 

[PJR202]

The 2022 season ended with our district tournament. Honestly, I'm not 100% certain we even qualified for it. I believe we're supposed to play every team once, for the official record. There was one team I didn't even schedule because the coach ghosted me a couple times. I wasn't gonna chase him down, and it would have been a blowout regardless. I think at once point it was 18 days between my text and his first response.

Anyway, we didn't know much about the team we were up against. It looked like they were in the lower tier of their side of the district, but their side of the district has a lot bigger schools to pull from so they all beat up on each other. Regardless, we had some good practices and were feeling optimistic.

The plan was to pitch our #1 the first inning, then swap DD2 in for the second, then do all that again and let DD2 go on and finish the last inning (5 inning games). We figured them seeing 50mph down the middle followed by 40mph all over the zone would be as good a strategy as any, since they likely were a strong team compared to us.

So, we were the home team. #1 comes out firing hard and fans the first three batters.

So, the strategy changed to just leaving her in there. In bottom 1, we got a couple fortuitous walks right off the bat. Their pitcher was trying to stay on the outside and wasn't hitting it. We spotted it right away and told the girls not to swing at the first pitch. That strategy worked well. We managed to hit the ball some and got a run.

Second inning, #1 struck out their #4 hitter. We thought we were on a roll. Then they started hitting, and got a couple runs. We were playing FLAWLESS defense though. It's how we managed to survive for three innings. After that first streak for them, #1 lost a little mustard off the fastball. When she loses mustard, she gives up more hits....and when she gives up more hits, she loses confidence. Overall, she had a great season as far as getting the ball over the plate and maintaining her composure during big runs. I was really proud of her.

This was easily our best hitting game. Six legit hits, and a dozen hard hit balls they made plays on. DD2 went 1 for 2 plus a walk. She struggled with her hitting all season, but had made a few strides later into the year. She didnt have a lot of hits on the season, but she put the ball into play at least once in every game as I recall. This one was a solid line drive into the gap.

The score was something like 9 - 2 I think, and #1 was done. Their #4 had blasted one OTF for three runs already, and she came around again in the same inning and we gave her the base without throwing a pitch. #1 had been done for several batters, but at this point she was walking every one of them and the body language was asking us to take her out. She had also managed to put herself on the ground after hitting her leg while pitching.

They were also absolutely relentless with the cheers. They never stopped for one second during game play...that's not an exaggeration either. It was unnerving even for me there in the dugout. It was too late to recover at this point, but we slapped DD2 in there to finish it out.

It was the worst she's ever thrown. I don't think she even threw that bad in LL when she had only a dozen lessons. She came out this time and didn't throw a single strike. Not one. I mentioned that yesterday and she said "I threw one!" and I'm like...nope. After four of them or so, I went out to talk to her. That was the first time I had done it all season. I was like "what's up?" and she said "it's the cheers. I wanna punch them all in the face." I told her to ignore it and do her thing, but I know when she's past the point of no return. I told her I was proud of her, and headed back to the dugout. She faced six batters and walked every one of them in four pitches. They stepped off to get us our last at-bat, we did nothing relevant, and that was all she wrote.

We all breathed a sigh of relief. It had been a long season. But despite the loss, we had made hard contact 12 times, had 6 hits, and played nearly flawless defense. We took what they gave us, which was how we'd hoped to play the whole season. Had we actually PLAYED defense even close to that well during the season, I think we'd have won some other games. Most of the teams that beat us weren't all that great, and we all know that hitting is infectious when the kids are pumped up.

Still 2021 was (I believe) a 2-9 record in varsity games, and then one other game that we managed to go the distance.

2022 I think was 3-12, with two of the rainouts being games we likely would have won. We went the distance three other times. Factoring in those two likely wins, we would have gone 5-10, and I'd have been pretty pumped about that.

How will next season for the MS go? I'm not sure, really. I'm an optimist, though. DD1 and one other girl are the only ones moving up that would leave spots to replace in the typical starting 9. For defense, that's catcher and 3B on varsity. DD2 wasn't much of a factor at the plate. Hitting overall should be improved. The JV catcher moving to varsity will be fine. Pitching is the real concern, but we're working hard on that right now. Depending on how that goes, I think they can do at least as well as 2022. In the long run, we all know MS play is to prep players for HS, but who doesn't want to win, right? I'm moving on from MS assistant to working with pitchers at all levels, and plan to try my best to get some really solid throwing coming in the next few years.

#1 will be in 8th grade but playing full-time for the HS, other than maybe when they don't have anything scheduled. I think I could probably help her a lot with her mechanics. She's a big, tall, strong kid and I think there's a lot of speed left in the tank. However, she currently goes to DD2's previous instructor and although I would wager he would agree with everything I told her, I still wouldn't feel right about getting in the middle of his work.

I'll recap the high school next post, including some DD1 specific stuff. After that, I dunno. I guess I'll talk about the day-to-day stuff, and chronicle the highs and lows of DD2's pitching changes some more.

 

[PJR202]

I've been just hanging out until something relevant came about, but I realized I hadn't wrapped up DD1's story.

It's not anything magical. A week into the practice season, she dislocated her kneecap doing side lunges during warmups. The coach said it looked awful, and she just kinda laughed as she told him what happened, then slid it back into place. Another of the players later told me in dramatic fashion that the cap was several inches low.

She did the whole doctor thing, and was put in a brace for 6 weeks, followed by twice-weekly PT sessions. Her coach wouldnt have made a big deal of it if she'd been absent, but she went to every practice and did whatever she could to help out. She caught-in during If/OF, and helped the foreign exchange students with their throw/catch, and taking ground balls. She's a great kid and a great teammate.

We never took issue with the coach over the side lunges, which I've never been a fan of. S**t happens, and everyone is just trying to do what they think is best. He's also the one that blasted me with a line drive last year and wrecked my wrist.

He's got it in for us--I know it.

That said, he felt bad and was very careful with her the rest of the season. She saw maybe a dozen innings of JV in the second half of the season. Honestly, I believe she was good to go by then, but I don't blame him for being careful.

She's also had some throwing shoulder pain that persisted, and after yet another ortho visit she was told it was "swimmer's shoulder," which is a fancy name for backside weakness due to sitting around on your phone or computer a lot, which causes abnormal effort on the part of the shoulder.

So, new brace. More rehab. This was in the offseason though, several months back.

Overall, the team had 11 wins vs 7 in 2021. Some real stars emerged, including the cheerleader in her second year playing ball, who hit 7 HR over the fence. She's back for her senior year in 2023. Total savage player, all around. I may get with her to do some pitching work, if she doesn't run away when I bring it up.


A few months back, DD1 told me she's done playing ball. She's working 2-3 evenings a week now, waiting tables at a mom & pop place in town, and has a lot of commitments as part of the FFA officer team. It's part of her plan to get into vet school and I wouldn't try to take tha away from her--although I still don't think she understands what 200k+ in student loans really means once she's out of school. FFA stays busy all year, though. She would miss a ton of practices and games.


In her own dramatic, hot/cold kind of way, DD2 is still gung-ho to play and looking forward to her freshman year--although with some trepidation. She's afraid that with the loss of 7 seniors, the team will suffer. I don't think that'll necessarily be the case. I think the pitching will be stronger, and they only really lost one truly strong hitter.

Wiz and I have told all the girls we've coached in MS, which would include current 9th graders, that the year it comes together for the HS will likely be the 2024 season. I asked him recently if the thought of all the work we've put into this program likely dropping off starting in 2027 is depressing for him. I've certainly had it in mind. His response was "I've already been there with baseball."

As parent coaches, we're in this business so our kids won't have to suffer on terrible teams--or even have a team for that matter. We put in so much of our time to do this. I don't like to say I "sacrifice" my time for softball. Coaching my kids and these other great local kids is more of a privilege than some daunting task. The kids and us coaches will look back on these years fondly.

If I'm sacrificing anything here, it's my sanity. There's not an hour of my day that's gone by in the past three years that I haven't thought about softball. Always analyzing video, planning, predicting, worrying...and even daydreaming about the success I think we'll have soon. The time has blown by, and it's hard to believe that in 10 weeks we'll be back into the season.

And then it'll be gone, and I wish dearly that whoever picks up the torch behind us will do their best to keep it burning brightly. I feel like I'll always be involved in some capacity, but not as a team coach. It does seem that the programs that have lasting stability also have people leading the programs who aren't there only while their kid plays. HS coach doesn't have any of his own kids playing, but the rest of us are just temps. If I become halfway decent at pitching instruction, I plan to go into it as a side hustle in the next few years. There'll be a discount for local kids, of course, and I will definitely donate some free instruction for the kids on the teams during practices. It's the whole reason I got into this.

 

[PJR202]

DD2 has been working hard this offseason, attending the middle school practices (HC welcomes anyone MS/HS) twice a week. There's been a lot of 5 on 5 play and defensive work. Her skills are pretty sharp and her overhand throw is stronger than ever.

She's started hitting the gym with her catcher twice a week, getting in leg and core work, and some cardio. They're also getting together once a week so the catcher can teach DD2 how to read signs and location stuff, and just to learn each other's habits in-general.

She's working on hitting spots with her fastball, and we're still working hard to get her posture fixed. There will come a time, probably 6-8 weeks from now, when it'll be make or break. If she's still bowling, I'll have to live with it for the season and give her a few weeks to get back to working on accuracy with the mechanics she has at that time. Right now her control varies, depending on what stage of posture accuracy she's hitting at a given time.

Last night we worked on an arm whip drill, then pitches with a band above her knees working out gradually to 43 feet, to force her drive leg to come along for the ride and get the body in the correct position. It works, but it's exhausting. She had great speed, spin, and accuracy for a while there.

We also worked on front side resistance by having her dry pitch off the elevated baseball pitching wedge (fake mound). It's an interesting exercise that was pretty eye-opening for her. We finished up with her throwing about 25 full pitches, and they were mostly wild until I realized her plant foot was landing to the right of the power line. She never does that. I think it was due to the drills. She corrected it and started throwing strikes, but was exhausted. She threw four in a row, then laid on the floor and groaned. It was time to call it quits.

Batting practice with the MS today, then probably a little more pitching as I work with MS pitchers.

 

[DryHeat]

And then it'll be gone, and I wish dearly that whoever picks up the torch behind us will do their best to keep it burning brightly. I feel like I'll always be involved in some capacity, but not as a team coach. It does seem that the programs that have lasting stability also have people leading the programs who aren't there only while their kid plays. HS coach doesn't have any of his own kids playing, but the rest of us are just temps. If I become halfway decent at pitching instruction, I plan to go into it as a side hustle in the next few years. There'll be a discount for local kids, of course, and I will definitely donate some free instruction for the kids on the teams during practices. It's the whole reason I got into this.

It is people like you that make so much of this possible for the kids. I coached about 4 1/2 seasons of rec ball and got to see all sorts of talent levels. I coached because no one else was really available. It is all time well spent when you are spending it with your kids and are keeping them off their phones.

 

[PJR202]

It is people like you that make so much of this possible for the kids. I coached about 4 1/2 seasons of rec ball and got to see all sorts of talent levels. I coached because no one else was really available. It is all time well spent when you are spending it with your kids and are keeping them off their phones.

Thanks so much. I just hate seeing them either not be able to play, or totally suck. I wasn't knowledgeable enough to be a head coach when this thing started, but I'm smart enough to know that and look for people with more experience. I've also found through this experience that a mediocre kid can become competent if they'll just show up in the offseason and get some reps. There's no magic recipe for ability. Just show up. We'll handle the rest!