Rec league--play to win or not--how would you handle this situation?

[2 DD Coach]

I had to read this three times. Did someone hijack sluggers account? This is the guy who tells it like it is, straight and to the point with no sugar coating, and he's letting a prima donna attitude permeate his team? (I'm guessing early on also)
I don't care if it's rec or gold travel, you sit in the dugout with your team, as a team. NO EXCEPTIONS. Like someone said, they don't drive, so it's hard to punish them for that. But when your there, you better be there 110%. Mom can't have her DD sitting in with the team during the game, then she's not part of the team anyway.

 

[redhotcoach]

I can teach even challenged kids to hit well. Sorry couldn't resist, just joking.
My rec team (coach both) kids sit equal time. Rotate positions except P. C. and 1st. Hitting line up is made before game. Girls must email/text me if they are going to be gone or late. Batting....2-6 stay same, 1 and 6-11 rotate. So Suzy would be somewhere in 2-6 and Sally 1st once and 6-12 other games. Rec ball should be made fairish. I would say 10u about 1/2 as "fair" as 6u and twice as fair as 14u.

10 years olds don't drive, so I can't punish them for being late. A physically challenged child would get an exception to anything, but I also can't have pitch drilling fast balls off her head.

 

[DonnieS]

Not going to criticize anything you do in this situation because its close to lose-lose. Chances are Suzy's mother doesnt care about sports - and would like Suzy to quit. When I was doing rec, the first several years, the coach who won the league got to be the all-star coach, so in that world winning is a big deal.

 

[SoftSocDad]

I understand why some teams have a set batting order, but the absolute BEST way to manage this - in terms of pure rec league 'fairness' principles - is to have a continuous lineup. That is, if the #5 hitter has the last at-bat in one game, then the #6 hitter should have the 1st at-bat in the next game. If that person is Suzy and she is not present, that's too bad. She misses that at-bat, but remains in that slot.

Under no circumstances should Suzy be hanging out with mom behind the dugout during the game, however. Speaking to your kid is one thing - sometimes kids have to be told to drink water on a hot day - but having conversations with them when they should be cheering on their teammates at the plate or in the field is wrong on the part of the parents and I would not allow it. If I were coaching, that would be a point of emphasis at the initial parents meeting.

Yes, I know it's 'just rec ball' and that parents are an active part of their kids' sporting lives, but when it's gametime, I want the kids' focus on the game and on the team.

My DD has played with Sally before and without ever saying a word, she always seemed to make an extra effort to work with her or to make sure she encouraged her or told the girls they weren't being nice when some of the other teammates complained each time she struck out. It wasn't like the rest of the girls were the Divas of the Diamond, if you know what I mean.

I'd be proud to coach Sally and would hope that her experience would be just as fun as the other girls'.

 

[sluggers]

This happened right after college. It the the first year I was ever head coach. The reason I got the team was because a handicapped kid had signed up, and the rec league didn't know what to do with him. So, they called up some sucker (me). At that time, (30 years ago) it was unheard of to have a handicapped kid on a team. It was a baseball team, and the kids were Jimmy ("Suzy") and David ("Sally").

Jimmy finally showed up late one too many times, and I had him bat last, and put David onto the field to start in his place. Did it phase Jimmy or his parents? No. I batted David 6th. I wish David hit a home run, but he didn't. He still struck out. After that, I re-prioritized what I was trying to do.

As to Jimmy, the whole sport experience was lost. Sure, he was talented, but he didn't get anything out of it. Sitting on the bench with your teammates is the best part of baseball/softball. I talked to Jimmy's ("Suzy") parents, but I was wasting my breath. They liked having Jimmy sit by them.

We worked with David a lot, and by the end of the year he was hitting the ball. The first time he got a hit and scored a run was one of the proudest moments of my life. When he came across the plate, it was a special moment. The score was 25-7 or something like that, and this kid celebrated like he just scored the winning run of the world series. He was pumping his fist in the air, and all the parents on both teams were clapping and shouting.

That is when the "light bulb" went on in my head that there is more than just winning games. The most important thing is for a coach to keep his honor, his integrity, and his commitment to improving every one of his players. (Don't get me wrong--I've won and I've lost, and winning is better. I always play to win. But, my principles and the good of the kids come first.)

David's parents passed away ten years ago. I doubt David remember any of this. But, the truth is that he taught me more than I taught him.

 

[Ken Krause]

Nice story, Slugger, and well-handled.

I had a girl who was habitually late to games. She didn't drive, but it wasn't that simple. The reason she was late was that she had trouble waking up on time, and her father wouldn't do anything about it. He indulged her, and if she wanted to sleep in longer he'd let her -- or at least he wouldn't force her to get up. When she did get up, she moved slowly, had to do her makeup and hair, etc.

One day at I'd had enough. She was scheduled to start at SS. When she missed the start of warmups, I scratched her from the starting lineup. When she got there I let her know I had done it. From that point on she wasn't late anymore -- until the day she completely blew off a tournament because she was too tired from being out the night before at a concert. She was off the team after that day.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Maybe the coaches are better off that require everyone to be there 10 minutes, early. ??
My sons BB was like that. He accepted no excuses. But, it was HS.

I think that rec should be a little lenient, but sometimes if you give an inch - well, you know the saying.

I have coached a few special ed kids. It is great to see them succeed.

 

[badbrad]

Winning is definitely better but developing these young ladies into athletes, ensuring they have a good experience and have fun and instilling a love and respect for the game is absolutely more important in my mind. My first year (last year) coaching a 6u rec team I had somewhere around a 43% win record. I also had a 3yr old on that team. Coaching this age group is like herding cats anyway but over the course of 20 something games my 3yr old ended up hitting twice. Those are a couple of my proudest moments as a coach. And the best of all is having all the girls I have coached previously still run up and give me hugs. There are some things more important than winning and for me teaching and seeing the girls get better after each practice/game, no matter what age group, is by far more fulfilling to me than any number of wins.

 

[stephanie]

I like it because little girls aren't taught to be part of a team.
I don't know why, but they just aren't.
So, when I got my team at 8U, we consistently worked on being a softball family. Now, they are moving up to 12U, and there are some pretty amazing changes going on with these little girls/tweens, BUT they love each other, they are a team, they support each other, and they know how to be part of something bigger than themselves. And even though they are splitting up after summer ball, they have learned that it's not just all about them. And that is a great lesson for life...