Really struggling with accepting new team

[maksoftball]

A while ago (Aug/Sept), I posted something about my daughter not making the cut on team she "traveled" with last year due to "inconsistent hitting". And of course, we found out AFTER all tryouts were said and done. So we found a spot with a weaker team for the time being...right now here are the pros/cons:

Pros:
* She is one of the top 2 players on team.
* She gets more pitching time.
* She gets more action positions if not pitching (has been playing SS)...before she was an outfielder (but a very good one at that too).
* The girls are really nice and sincere...she gets along with all of them.
* She is a leader on this team.
* Her confidence has soared...after 3 tournaments, her slugging % is around .750 - .850. She has been getting solid doubles/triples. Not inconsistent any more, are we?

Cons:
* Players and families are less dedicated to softball. Coach sends out email asking who is available certain weekends, and 2-3 players are out at least 2-4 weekends from November - December (note that half of December doesn't count since we are all out for holidays).
* Level of competition is lower. DD has to raise the bar for herself, she isn't as challenged by peers or by coaches.
* Practices are weak in comparison to what DD is used to. I fear that she will start slacking and fall behind tougher competition. She has been working on pulling in drills she's learned in the last 2 years into these practices (with coach's permission).

Now changing teams isn't what we "want" to do, but we wonder if we should. At the same time, she is getting more pitching time, and we also feel like taking this year to be a leader and gain confidence will help her more than finding a team that will challenge her or raise the bar higher. I just fear that staying with this team will be one of those "2-3 steps back" ordeals...and that if she tries out with another team in August 2012, we will struggle in just that...finding a stronger team. However, we also have the mindset of "showing off" in tournaments so that she does get noticed...so that they do remember her in tryouts. I just hate that here we are going on year three of select softball, and each year has been with a different team (not by our choice - first team got a brand new set of coaches and they were too hard core...of course now, we think we'd tryout with them come August 2012).

Not sure what I am trying to say here...guess I just need reassurance or possibly feedback/experiences on what others have done. And by the way, my dd is a 2nd year 12U player...she's a '99.

 

[EP Dad]

My DD is in a very similar situation right now. I'll be very curious to see what kind of responses you get. I'm torn because on the better team my DD can't pitch very much and that is what she really wants to do.

 

[Sweet Lou]

I'm confussed. She got cut from the stronger team but you want to try to move her back up?
It seems like this would be a good year to work on pitching, infield and leadership and try to move back up next year.
Also I'd ask your daughter what she wants to do. She may like being a big fish in a small pond. Especially since you say "she gets along with all of them."

 

[sluggers]

With due respect maksoftball, you are over thinking this.

Your DD is playing 12U. Her main goal is to learn the game and have fun playing softball. She needs to be playing as much as possible. If she is having fun, then don't mess with it. Relax and enjoy. You can stress out about this stuff at 14YOA or 15YOA, but not now.

A lot of people get all bent out of shape over 12U ball--but, look, the kids still haven't matured physically. It is fun, but whether your kid is a star or not doesn't mean anything.

No matter what team your DD plays on now, your DD will have to find a new team anyway next year. Many, many kids start dropping out of softball at 13YOA. (It might be within the same organization, but the team will be substantially different).

DD has to raise the bar for herself, she isn't as challenged by peers or by coaches.

This is actually a positive, not a negative. You have recognized that she needs to push herself rather than relying on someone else to push her. WELL DONE. It doesn't matter how good the team is, she needs to push herself. She needs to work out individually to improve her skills.

 

[CoogansBluff]

How does your daughter feel about the new team? Your assessment of the pros and cons was very good, but it seems to be missing the most important ingredient, IMO. If she's enjoying the pros and doesn't care about the cons, then it's an easy decision.

 

[SoftSocDad]

Diagnosis: daughter's level of skill does not match parent's ambition resulting in player not being on the 'right' team for the parent

 

[maksoftball]

Diagnosis: daughter's level of skill does not match parent's ambition resulting in player not being on the 'right' team for the parent

Actually, I am okay with staying with this team...but she will be moving up to 14U next year, and she really wants to play college ball. I will say that she is the one commenting on how practices are not very hard and how she wants to talk to coach about leading practice some time. This is VERY good IMO...she has a chance to shine and also will have a new level of respect for past coaches for bringing her skills/performance to the level that it is now (of course, it's not all them...she plays a very big part in that ). I guess I am just a wee bit antsy, and just need to relax (hard to do when you're shelling out a lot of money for the team/lessons LOL).

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

maksoftball,

IMO, your DD is in exactly the right place for now. If she is really good then she can move up next season. Let her shine, be a leader, have some fun. There will be plenty of time later to worry about college recruiting.

 

[Sparky Guy]

maksoftball,

Here is what you do. Find a 14U team for your DD to practice with. Talk to the coach and let them know she is not interested in a position on the team this year. Explain the situation. Get her used to the faster game at practice. This way she'll not fall behind with her skills.

On the flip side... If she practices well with the 14U team she may be asked to fill in from time to time. Nothing wrong with that. It can be a win-win situation for her and the 14U team.

 

[99&beyond]

I totally could have made this post earlier this spring.

Last January, we walked away from DD's BFF's team. The coach was (and still is) a really good friend. They were on the road to greatness (in theory, not reality, but we didn't know it then).
In February, we started looking for a team. DD could still play 12U, but I really needed her up at 14U for the pace of the game to keep her competitve for school ball. I got a call from a team needing a catcher. We went to a practice, DD felt she fit in and we stayed. Only the team wasn't very competitive and DD was getting frustrated. We picked up in tournaments with other teams. DD would up being the shining star on that team and got lots of experience catching and hitting.
In August, the coach from our spring team calls and says his DD is going to go play with the team we walked away from in January and that put us on the hunt for yet another team.

Now I am having issues with where she played last year. When a coach sends a message or calls and asks where she played last spring and for school, after I tell them, I don't get a call back. Playing with a team that was a lower skill level has really hurt her in moving forward to a more competitive team. She can play with the stronger girls and will push herself to improve and compete, but we are having a hard time getting her foot in the door.