My 14 yr old middle school dd committed to a new team in the winter after being pursued by this coach for a couple of months.. This is supposed to be a 14/16u (3 middle school girls and the rest high school) showcase team. We were told that they wouldn't play much during the spring because most of the team plays high school ball and it will be too much for them. However, when we expressed a concern about that because we knew our daughter would not be happy with nearly an 8 month break (November-June) we were told that he would continue practicing and add a few spring tournaments to the schedule so the younger girls could continue playing. Well, we haven't had a team practice in well over a month. And the spring tournaments fell off the schedule without explanation. My dd has been guest playing with another team within the organization, but she has played for the coach/team before and she doesn't really want to be with the team. She is also playing bottom of the lineup and switching out in the outfield where she isn't used to playing the majority of the time because the coach is loyal to his players and we aren't paying. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but she has always been the starting catcher/3rd base so it's different. The problem is that the other coach keeps asking for more money up front because he has to pay for the showcase tournaments in advance, but we're not practicing or playing so my husband doesn't want to give him another penny. My husband wants her to play with the other team at least through this season and try to transfer the money we have paid in already to that team because they want her to play permanently. However knowing how my daughter feels about the coach and team, I am hesitant to make the move. She understands how we're feeling so she is willing to do it, but she isn't happy about it. I'm just concerned we are expecting too much from a showcase team and this is how it works. Do showcase teams really practice so infrequently? We have been having to pay for lessons and agility because they just aren't practicing and we don't want her to get rusty or lose interest after all of the work she has put into it over the years. We also don't know much about the sport to help her practice outside of practice. I'm also concerned about all of the empty promises this coach has made to us and we feel like maybe it is right to run. He is asking for another big payment towards future tournaments so I feel like I need to make a decision now before giving him another penny. Please help us make a decision. She is our oldest and we have no idea what we're doing when it comes to softball.
Not sure what to do? New team, new issues.
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This is pretty typical. The high school teams come first (by law in many states) and there is a big time commitment between practices and games. So it's not uncommon for the showcase teams to go dark during this time because it would be near impossible to schedule a practice or tournament that works for everyone.
What's not typical is to not have your showcase schedule. This is usually committed before the summer so families can plan for it.
If you jump, it would be for all the wrong reasons... you're running "from" something instead of "going to" something.
Ask the coach for a meeting. You say your new, so tell him that you want to have a better understanding of the process and expectations. Some coaches are just not good at the outward communication and it's likely there was a very good reason the spring showcases were cancelled; maybe HS conflicts? He is also correct that he has to pay up front for the showcases and they are more expensive than a regular 14U tourney.
You'll be back on the field before you know it; HS is pretty short season. So I would recommend patience and communication.
Last, we typically try to keep middle school 14U and HS 14U/16U seperate in our club for this exact reason. Even then it's tough because some towns have MS teams. Good luck!
What's not typical is to not have your showcase schedule. This is usually committed before the summer so families can plan for it.
If you jump, it would be for all the wrong reasons... you're running "from" something instead of "going to" something.
Ask the coach for a meeting. You say your new, so tell him that you want to have a better understanding of the process and expectations. Some coaches are just not good at the outward communication and it's likely there was a very good reason the spring showcases were cancelled; maybe HS conflicts? He is also correct that he has to pay up front for the showcases and they are more expensive than a regular 14U tourney.
You'll be back on the field before you know it; HS is pretty short season. So I would recommend patience and communication.
Last, we typically try to keep middle school 14U and HS 14U/16U seperate in our club for this exact reason. Even then it's tough because some towns have MS teams. Good luck!
- Mar 29, 2012
- 377
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Don't know where you live, but here in Ohio girls playing school ball are not allowed topractice or play with any other team including their summer team. If they do they lose thier hig scholl elegibility. My daughter is in the same type of situation she is in 8th grade but most of her team is high school. We have not had practice in a month, she is going to be subbing for other teams from the last weekend of april to the 1st month of June.
I expect what you are seeing is typical of teams that have a large numbe rof high school players, have you talked to the parents of the other middle schoolers?
I expect what you are seeing is typical of teams that have a large numbe rof high school players, have you talked to the parents of the other middle schoolers?
- Sep 29, 2014
- 2,421
- 113
You basically joined a High School aged team, as others are mentioning most states will not allow you to play both and even if you could HS practice is everyday that is not a gameday except Sundays so there is no time.
Be grateful you are getting some playing time, actually I would get as much time as possible with the other team in the org...maybe you could practice with them as well and at practice she could play 3B/C and don't be mad that she is not playing her position be very respectful since you are free riding with this team until HS season is over.
All the other girls are not worried about getting practice time they are practicing and playing every day if you DD does not keep up she will be really rusty compared to them, come TB season
As far as tournament money, if you did not go to any Fall/Winter/Spring tournament or leagues I would wonder where my signup money went, assuming probably uniforms, equipments and maybe a practice facilities during winter? Anyway you should have a SUMMER showcase tournament schedule and yes there is upfront money needed BUT a well run organization will have an announced schedule and parents will be on a payment plan and probably by end of this month maybe mid May you should be mostly paid up, once the travel season starts first weeks of June you should be practicing almost every day and tournaments almost every weekend....good luck and unfortunately this happens a lot which is why organizations try to have year specific teams so this does not happen.
Be grateful you are getting some playing time, actually I would get as much time as possible with the other team in the org...maybe you could practice with them as well and at practice she could play 3B/C and don't be mad that she is not playing her position be very respectful since you are free riding with this team until HS season is over.
All the other girls are not worried about getting practice time they are practicing and playing every day if you DD does not keep up she will be really rusty compared to them, come TB season
As far as tournament money, if you did not go to any Fall/Winter/Spring tournament or leagues I would wonder where my signup money went, assuming probably uniforms, equipments and maybe a practice facilities during winter? Anyway you should have a SUMMER showcase tournament schedule and yes there is upfront money needed BUT a well run organization will have an announced schedule and parents will be on a payment plan and probably by end of this month maybe mid May you should be mostly paid up, once the travel season starts first weeks of June you should be practicing almost every day and tournaments almost every weekend....good luck and unfortunately this happens a lot which is why organizations try to have year specific teams so this does not happen.
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- Jun 12, 2015
- 3,848
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I think I'd go with door #3 and find a team she loves that's actually playing. I don't think leaving the other team is wrong, because they told you one thing and are doing something totally different. If you'd known the truth up front you'd probably have gone elsewhere. But it sounds like your daughter doesn't love the team she's picking up with. Maybe pick up with a few other teams and see if there's one she clicks with.
It's April, you'll be playing by June. No need to jump as you'll lose everything you've already paid for and the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. Keep playing as a guest on the other team. Regardless of position, you're DD is getting playing time and seeing live pitching... for free.
DDs showcase team had it's last practice in the beginning of March and won't practice together as a team again until HS ball is over. This is what most showcase teams in our area do. Heavy fall schedule, Nov/Dec off, some winter practices but not a ton, spring off for HS ball and then a busy summer schedule.
It's unlikely that the girls playing HS ball would be able to commit to a tournament during HS season since HS ball comes first and around here you can't miss unless you are sick or at some kind of school function.
It's unlikely that the girls playing HS ball would be able to commit to a tournament during HS season since HS ball comes first and around here you can't miss unless you are sick or at some kind of school function.
My DD's showcase team practices 3 days a week during school ball. 2 weeknights are optional and usually only get 3 girls there which is great because they all get tons of reps. Then we hold a team practice on Sunday's. This isn't an optional practice but it's also not held against any player that doesn't show up. We also take a week off here and there to give the girls a break. Easter week was one and so was spring break, but parents seem to like the fact that we still practice as they want to know they're getting their money's worth.
Also there isn't a state law to prevent us from practicing just that you can't coach HS and a HS aged travel team with players from your HS team on it.
I've watched enough school ball practices in my area to know that 3 days a week of travel ball practice isn't going to hurt them considering most don't do a whole lot during school ball practice. For the most part there's no conditioning, weights or prolonged running at school ball nor are there any techniques being taught.
You've told us what your husband wants to do. You say that you are undecided. But, what does your *DD* want to do? Have you talked to her about it?
This may seem strange, but your DD probably knows more about where she should play than you do. If she is an advanced player, she likely understands teams, player skill levels and "what she wants out of softball" more than you do.
I suspect your DD knows that the team she is "guesting" for is not nearly as good as the showcase team. She therefore wants to be part of the better team. Why? Good athletes want to be measured against good athletes.
You need to talk to your DD and *listen*. Kids at your DD's age have a very hard time expressing complex thoughts...but, again, she probably knows more about this than you do.
As to lack of games and practices...travel ball teams do during the HS season depends quite a bit on your location. On the west coast, travel teams just keep on playing. In most the rest of the country, it is against the the HS athletic association rules to to play on a travel team and a HS team at the same time. Most travel teams "go dormant" during the spring. The coach hasn't communicated well with you. He probably should have told you that your DD is "on her own" for the spring. Your DD is doing exactly what she needs to do.
jquick:
It really depends upon the coach. My DD's varsity team is in practice or games every day until 5 or 6 PM. The kids then have to do homework and take care of other obligations. They don't have enough time to do more practice after that.
This may seem strange, but your DD probably knows more about where she should play than you do. If she is an advanced player, she likely understands teams, player skill levels and "what she wants out of softball" more than you do.
I suspect your DD knows that the team she is "guesting" for is not nearly as good as the showcase team. She therefore wants to be part of the better team. Why? Good athletes want to be measured against good athletes.
You need to talk to your DD and *listen*. Kids at your DD's age have a very hard time expressing complex thoughts...but, again, she probably knows more about this than you do.
As to lack of games and practices...travel ball teams do during the HS season depends quite a bit on your location. On the west coast, travel teams just keep on playing. In most the rest of the country, it is against the the HS athletic association rules to to play on a travel team and a HS team at the same time. Most travel teams "go dormant" during the spring. The coach hasn't communicated well with you. He probably should have told you that your DD is "on her own" for the spring. Your DD is doing exactly what she needs to do.
jquick:
It really depends upon the coach. My DD's varsity team is in practice or games every day until 5 or 6 PM. The kids then have to do homework and take care of other obligations. They don't have enough time to do more practice after that.
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