I really hate and love this sport

[mudrunner]

Some great advice here!

I am about to be in a similar situation with my DD. She is in her first year of 12U, and I am an assistant coach for her team this year. She has played select or travel ball for three years now, and has never had a winning season. There are about 5 girls on the team that it really bothers to lose (her being one of them), and the other girls are just happy to be there playing....which is totally fine. There is a glaring difference when they are all on the field though. My DD wants to step it up next year, and be on a team where everybody wants to compete. She even decided not to try out for select soccer ( which she loves) so that she can focus more on hitting lessons and cage time next spring. We have about 5 weeks left in our season, but I can't help but start to think about what we should do for next season.

 

[phoglight]

Really appreciate all the thoughts. I haven't been anything more than a lurker for about 2 years on here, but have always found great advice and varying opinions, which are great for discussion. It's tough. I truly care about all the kids involved. But, it's also my job to care about my DD more when the season ends. Thanks to all.

 

[CJ D]

What you did, in essence, is tell the parents you were creating an A team and a B team. Sure, some parents think their DD can do no wrong, but they can also see talent in the other girls and who is "best". When they see the rest of the "best" girls being put on one team, and their DD is on the other team, you're basically telling them that they are going to play for your group, but just not on the good team. That'd make most folks pretty angry. Pretty good chance that none of them will want to stay for the new team. So, basically what you did was have tryouts and cuts, but you did it via mass email and cut the girls for unknown players. That stings a bit. I think you would have been better off actually having tryouts and making legitimate cuts there. If 12s there are anything like around here, it's not easy to just go out and pick up half a dozen good ball players. You may have shot yourself in the foot.

On another note, I make it a mission, and always have, to learn human behavior. Everyone responds different to different stimuli. I have one player whom nearly every parent on my team and all the coaches have asked me about. "Why doesn't she care if we win or lose? Why doesn't she get into the games? Why doesn't she show any emotion?" Truth is, that girl probably cares more about winning and losing that anyone else on the team. She's "in it" more than anyone else. But her way of handling mistakes is to be ultra hard on herself, and she will go into a shell faster than anyone. Her level of awareness and effort are still there, but she loses facial expression and it appears she just doesn't give a crap. I was warned about this before the season started (she's new this year) by her former coach. He was spot on. You'll never have to worry about what she can bring and what she will do to win, but if she takes a bad swing or hits a pop up or makes an error, everyone will think she goes into "I don't care" mode. Be sure that the girls you think don't want to play that much really don't want to play that much.