I just wanna play!

[undergroundga]

My dd will be 12 Halloween and entering her 5th year playing travel ball. She is an above average(admittedly not far above average, but above)pitcher, catcher, and hitter. I on the other hand, am a below average coach but I'm working to improve.
Something that I learned, even before coaching, is how important goals are. I try to make it a point to discuss goals with my players.
Like most people on this site, I'm sure, I also follow many softball pages on facebook. On some of those pages and on here I here people talk about their dd's or their own dreams. Dreams of playing for such and such team or the Olympics and so on.
So a couple days ago my dd and I were talking about team goals. Well, actually, I was doing the talking. She was doing her typical courtesy listening. I began to poke around about her own personal goals. To my dismay she had none. I tried to dig farther about specific goals in pitching, catching, anything. My dd can't just wonder aimlessly through her softball career without any goals.
I've tried prying before about any youthful dreams she might have about playing for team USA or UGA, but always get the same result. Nothing.
So after leading my witness and yes, maybe a lil badgering, the only goal or dream I could get out of her was, "Dad, I just wanna play ball."
Should I be worried?

 

[02Crush]

No. She is young. I work on goals with my girls and team. But I work to keep them simple, along the lines of things that keep the girls "playing" and feeling like they contribute. Nothing too serious because we are in 12U. They need to Love it first.

 

[JAD]

 

[Cowdogz]

Kids don't always have to think in terms of "goals." Think in terms of "skills I'd like to get better at."

 

[Big Dave]

I've seen goals at that age go both ways... some kids stay with it and work towards their goals and some loose it for various reasons - skills can pass some girls by, loose love of the game, etc.

Your DD may be like my twins (16 yo now) and just love to play the game! They want to play, they want to learn, they want to practice! I think the whole key is to keep the want and desire there. I kid can have plenty of drive but not want to put it towards softball. To me, in the 8 years I've coached my girls, you have to keep it fresh and fun! For some kids, the intense and focused team works - but not for my kids and not for many others! It's too early to worry about it - just make sure she still has a great time while she's playing! If she starts getting to the point she stops asking to throw or hit with you, or go to practice - don't focus on what's wrong with her, maybe take a look at her softball environment. Maybe that's what needs to change, not her attitude!

HTH, just another dads view...

 

[Momo'sDad]

So after leading my witness and yes, maybe a lil badgering, the only goal or dream I could get out of her was, "Dad, I just wanna play ball."
Should I be worried?

No. You should be both thrilled and proud of yourself for the job you've done in raising such a well-grounded young woman who is still having fun playing this game.

 

[RetiredCoach]

Don't worry about it! Be Happy!

Your DD is fine--and normal.

 

[CoogansBluff]

My dd will be 12 Halloween and entering her 5th year playing travel ball. She is an above average(admittedly not far above average, but above)pitcher, catcher, and hitter. I on the other hand, am a below average coach but I'm working to improve.
Something that I learned, even before coaching, is how important goals are. I try to make it a point to discuss goals with my players.
Like most people on this site, I'm sure, I also follow many softball pages on facebook. On some of those pages and on here I here people talk about their dd's or their own dreams. Dreams of playing for such and such team or the Olympics and so on.
So a couple days ago my dd and I were talking about team goals. Well, actually, I was doing the talking. She was doing her typical courtesy listening. I began to poke around about her own personal goals. To my dismay she had none. I tried to dig farther about specific goals in pitching, catching, anything. My dd can't just wonder aimlessly through her softball career without any goals.
I've tried prying before about any youthful dreams she might have about playing for team USA or UGA, but always get the same result. Nothing.
So after leading my witness and yes, maybe a lil badgering, the only goal or dream I could get out of her was, "Dad, I just wanna play ball."
Should I be worried?

Typical for her age, IMO.

I don't want to get off onto my favorite subject to debate here, but the disconnect between why some coaches are coaching and why most kids are playing ruins the game for a lot of girls. Best advice to coaches: Put effort into understanding why kids play and what they want, and serve them.

 

[ms244]

One thing that you said to me stood out above everything else.

My dd can't just wonder aimlessly through her softball career without any goals.

So at 12 years old you consider her playing softball a career?

"Dad, I just wanna play ball."

I think you need to listen to your 11 year old daughter more and maybe put your personal goals in the back seat for a little while. One lesson that I learned a few years ago that is still true today. You can't want this more than your daughter. When you want it MORE than they do, then things will go terribly wrong in several ways. Enjoy watching and coaching your daughter play the game that you love. Hopefully she loves the game as much as you do and in several years you will both have a memory of the time you two shared on the diamond. Putting the "career" tag onto a sport that an 11 year old plays is showing me that you want it more than she does.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

No. She is young. I work on goals with my girls and team. But I work to keep them simple, along the lines of things that keep the girls "playing" and feeling like they contribute. Nothing too serious because we are in 12U. They need to Love it first.

I like this approach very much. Since I am the head coach of an ultra-competitive, national-caliber 12U team, most people assume that we are hard-core, super intense and not only ask our players for their goals, but set them for them if they aren't "reachy" enough. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

I have an assistant coach (former college player) whom this drives totally crazy, but I keep it simple with the girls and don't get too intense or worry about goals not being lofty enough. Indeed, they are just 12, and loving the game and wanting to play it for that reason is the most important thing at that age.

If they love it and have the drive, good things will come. If they don't love it, nothing else will matter.