Daughter's team is falling apart! Help!

[Izzy's Dad]

Team consists of mostly 14U eligable girls playing up in 16's and 18's. They are a great group of girls who truly love the game. They have been pretty successful. Not winning that many, but keeping the score close.

Now, the problem. The head coach is so negative and yells at the girls. He screams at his own daughter, and another girl that he kind of took under his wing. The other girls are afraid to make a mistake because of this. I'll give an example: this weekend the girls were playing in a single elimination tournament where on Sunday, if you lost, you go home. They are in the 7th inning, down 3-10, 2 outs, and we are last at bat. A 2 out rally, 8 run inning, and they win the game 11-10. One girl had 2 out of the park homers. Then, they lose the second game, but kept the score closer than they ever had against this team.

Team meeting afterwards - coach gets on them about making errors, and that we are finally hitting. Not one word to the girl about the 2 homers. Not one word to my daughter who had twisted her ankle and was swollen, and pitched both games because his daughter hurt her shoulder warming up that morninhg (but she seemed fine when batting). I was furious, but that was not the time, nor the place.

Since then, 2 girls have left the team - stating in e-mails to all the parents that it is because of this negativity and yelling at the girls.

Now, some of the parents want me and the assistant coach to take over. He and I coached half of these girls last fall in 3 tournaments and a competitive league, because half of the team was playing HS ball. We took 4th, 2nd, and 1st in the tourneys and 2nd in the travel league.

I want to do right for these girls. But, I also think taking over his position by force is a bit harsh. Either way, we lose some girls. If he stays, the 2 stay gone, and possibly a couple more. If he leaves, we lose his daughter and the other girl he is helping.

Has anyone been throught this before? I don't know what to do. Should I just take my daughter and find another team? HELP! Please!

 

[Lozza]

You need to have a meeting with him one on one. Explain the situation and what other parents are telling you. Tell him that you don't want to take the team by force, that you don't want to lose his daughter and the two girls because they are such good players, but he is going to tear the team apart.

If you're already losing girls because of him, then something has to be done. If you at least talk to him beforehand you have a hope of keeping the two girls.

 

[Izzy's Dad]

I guess I should mention, the assistant coach called for a team meeting tonight. Everryone, including the head coach. The head coach had forwarded me and the assistant the e-mails from the 2 girls' parents that heve left the team, and they did not hold anything back. So, I can imagine he'll be in "defense mode" tonight.

The head coach's wife even callled the assistant coach's wife to find out what the meeting was about, and she told her that this has got to stop. The head coach's wife doesn't think he is doing anything wrong, even though 3 weeks ago he tore into his own daughter in the dugout, and had his wife in tears because of how rough he was on the daughter.

I'm a little nervous about how all of this is going to go down in an hour

 

[Lozza]

Eek. Good luck! I have my own meeting like that tonight (we paid the association for insurance costs, they weren't paid till after the season ended, we're now asking for them back) so I know the feeling of dread!

Please update us!

 

[Izzy's Dad]

Well, head coach left the team. He actually had his mind made up before he even showed up. All of us tried to reason with him, but in his mind, he has done nothing wrong. Said back when he played HS ball the coach (who was also the softball coach) used to smoke during practice, curse at them, and throw clip boards at them. And he said all the players loved playing for them.

We could see it was a losing battle. But, he made the decision.

Time to re-group.

 

[chinamigarden]

Said back when he played HS ball the coach (who was also the softball coach) used to smoke during practice, curse at them, and throw clip boards at them.

And they had to run up hill to first base through the snow, barefoot

 

[Lozza]

Did he take his daughter and the other girl?

 

[Izzy's Dad]

Did he take his daughter and the other girl?

He sure did. The sad thing is. this is the second year we've been with him. And he wasn't like this last year. He just said they're older and should be able to handle it.

 

[PEPPERS]

Said back when he played HS ball the coach (who was also the softball coach) used to smoke during practice, curse at them, and throw clip boards at them. And he said all the players loved playing for them.

Coach needs to realize times are different and kids are different. No one would put up with such behavior these days.

 

[SnocatzDad]

Coach needs to realize times are different and kids are different. No one would put up with such behavior these days.

Bet if he won 100% of his games parents woudl be applauding his old school approach. Doesn't matter if he's a nice guy or a jerk, you can be either and have the respect of the players and in the end what matters is whether his style gets the players to improve and play at the best of their ability. If you misjudge a kid so badly that pressing them leads them to quit your failing as a travel coach. The same action by a HS coach has no consequence (unless it's a great pitcher) because there are an endless line of kids willing to take it in order to get the opportunity to play. Summer coaches don't have the luxury of not keeping their entire roster reasonably happy when they only roster 11-12 kids.