coaching 12U girls

[1999Coach]

I was in a similar situation when we first started our team a couple of months ago. 7 out of 12 had only played rec ball so we were going to go easy the first couple of practices, big mistake, they realized this and started to goof off and socializing during practice.After about 3 or 4 pratices of trying to get this under control with running laps, push ups ect. A couple of practices ago after about 10 minutes of sloppy throws and missing routine grounders I lined them up in front of their parents and ask a few questions some directed to the parents, some to the girls.The questions were as follows:

To the girls: Why are you here, do you really want to play ball? Are you practicing to the best of your ability? Do you realize the time and expense your parents are investing so you can play ball? Do you think your parents enjoy watching you socialize and goof off while they are sitting in the hot sun for 2 hours?

To the parents: Do you think your daughter is practicing to the best of her ability? Do you think your daughter should be punished for simple errors when at practice? Do you think your daughter is improving with practice going the way it has in the last couple of weeks?

Then after the parents and players were done answering those questions I sent the entire team home, told them if we had another practice start like this I would do the same again and that we would not practice again until after our next tournament which was three weeks away.
At the next practice they looked like a differant group of girls, they became ball players when they stepped onto the field, no horseplay of any kind just serios ball players. If one girl made an error she dropped and did 10 pushups without a word from anyone one the coaching staff, after the third girl dropped without being told I realized that I had screwed up from day 1. Now after a couple more practices we are finally having good practices and they are consantl improving. You have to take control and never look back, as a coach you are in charge the players and the parents need to know this and respect it if you ever want to have a chance.
1999coach

 

[Bishop]

yes, spots and playing time are earned.

Excellent. My backup plan from the disappointment play. 'Do you really think (insert silly behavior here) is helping you to earn your way into the starting line up?'

If those two don't work, I go talk to the parents to put them on notice. Your kid is messing around in practice and not working to improve on her skills. It will be reflected in her opportunities for play time if it continues. When thier kid is on the bench playing as a sub or pinch runner later in the season, no one to blame but themselves for not fixing the behaviors and attitude of thier kid.

 

[Ken Krause]

Good way to stop the errant throws is to make the thrower chase the ball. Usually what happens is when a ball is thrown away is the receiver has to get it because she's closest. Have the thrower sprint to chase her bad throw, and she will either work harder at throwing or will be in incredible shape.

When we had our kickoff meeting, I let everyone (parents and players) know that the money they paid for registration bought them a seat on the bench. Getting on the field would require effort in practice, good attitude, good treatment of teammates and performance on the field, of course.

As for the original post, what's done is done. The behavior is unacceptable and you'll have to let them know it and start changing it. I'd gather them all together before practice, set out the new rules and expecations, and then move forward from there. If throwing is an issue, tell them you will work on throwing until they get it right, because throwing is a core part of the game. If you can't throw and catch you can't play. But then you have to be prepared to follow through with it.

One thing to keep in mind in situations like this is you have to know what the risks are and what you're willing to risk. What if you try to crack down and the girls still don't listen? Are you willing to call the parents together and say "This isn't working, I thought we were ready to be a travel team but the girls obviously don't want to play at that level. Rather than wasting everyone's time, I'll arrange for refunds and we can all move on from there." Drastic, yes, but potentially necessary. It's a lot easier to influence an outcome when you know what the consequences of an action or a stand are and are willing to risk them.

 

[jay]

thanks ken. great insight. i've used a lot of your guys' comments and, for the most part, am seeing a lot of progress in the short amount of time since my original post. we had a great doubleheader today. they girls were very engaged and played well as we split against two pretty good teams.

 

[absdad]

A serious 12yo girl? Really? What does one of those look like?

Sounds like your expectaction level rose when you moved to travel. Did you lay out your expectations to the girls and parents? Sometimes you may need to remind them from time to time at the beginning of practice. You can get their attention, and with work, keep their attention for most of a 2hr practice. Remember, girls are wired differently than boys and at that age, it takes a bit of finesse to get them all the same page; your page.

 

[lawdawg]

I object to saying that girls "are wired differently" and take more "finesse."
Please think before you assign gender stereotypes to young girls and women. Thank you.

Generally young ladies are wired differently than young men - believe me that's not a bad thing. Nothing against men - I am one - however, they must be motivated (not necessarily coached in skills) differently. I truly think girls take instruction better and don't require all the yelling, kicking dirt and threatening that boys do - generally speaking. Of course there are exceptions.

I remember our coaches dragging us around by the ear hole of our batting helmet and being kicked in the pants more than once. Girls are much more coachable in many ways - in my very humble opinion.

 

[absdad]

I object to saying that girls "are wired differently" and take more "finesse." We still have the idea in sports that boys are "normal" and girls "take extra work." This, even though, I see many girls who are often sticklers for following form instructions and practicing extra, while some boys lack motivation and won't follow a thing anyone says to them that does not have a threat of discipline. Some boys now openly cry, however, when they would not when I was young. (Not all, not my use of some.)

Gym is coed these days and hence, you will see these classes run the same for both.

Please think before you assign gender stereotypes to young girls and women. Thank you.

I think you're taking this way out of context. I said "different", and trust me, boys and girls are indeed.. different. Physically, mentally, socially, etc, etc. What motivates young women, does not generally work with young men, and vice versa. They respond differently to various stimuli. I never said young girls "take extra work", you did. Young girls take "DIFFERENT" work.
This is all sociology 101 stuff really. Not stereotyping anyone, just stating fact.