Mental help, first year 12u

Some great answers here, but I'll throw in my $.02 anyway.

First, I agree with many others here. Just keep teaching. Teach them in practice, teach them between games, between innings and between plays. It's not about yelling to embarrass them or get them down, it's about teaching. If you are not give INFORMATION or INSPIRATION, you are not teaching, you're just yelling. Not what I'd recommend in the middle of an inning with 11 year old girls. Keep teaching the right things and it will come around. The jump from 10U to 12U is the hardest jump except the jump from coach pitch to kid pitch in my opinion. Have patience and keep teaching.

Second, I've had the opportunity to coach both girls and boys at a rather high level. Here's what I've discovered:
Boys need to do good to feel good.
Girls need to FEEL good to DO good.

With my boys, we can push them to get it right. We can drive them, and their success makes them feel great and keeps them coming back to the game.

With my girls, I have to make sure they feel good first. If they are down, I can't push them or drive them to be better. Have to try to get their emotions in a better place before we can play better. Girls care about their friends are doing, about what their Mom is saying to them from the stands, about the face their Dad is making every time they come up to bat or make an error, they want to know if you as their coach care about them.

Just my opinion so take it for what it's worth, but I'd say to figure out a way to make them feel good. When in doubt, bring them cupcakes BEFORE practice, then make them work really hard.

Rmc1981 said:

Second, I've had the opportunity to coach both girls and boys at a rather high level. Here's what I've discovered:
Boys need to do good to feel good.
Girls need to FEEL good to DO good.

With my boys, we can push them to get it right. We can drive them, and their success makes them feel great and keeps them coming back to the game.

With my girls, I have to make sure they feel good first. If they are down, I can't push them or drive them to be better. Have to try to get their emotions in a better place before we can play better. Girls care about their friends are doing, about what their Mom is saying to them from the stands, about the face their Dad is making every time they come up to bat or make an error, they want to know if you as their coach care about them.

Just my opinion so take it for what it's worth, but I'd say to figure out a way to make them feel good. When in doubt, bring them cupcakes BEFORE practice, then make them work really hard.

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I have heard this quote before but I'm not so sure its that black and white and is probably too simplistic of an approach to be effective. I have coached both girls softball and boys baseball for many years and I don't think that the differences between the two genders is that significant to make any big changes in your coaching style. Some boys and girls are equally emotional, some are shy, some are outgoing, some are highly competitive, some don't want conflict, etc.

Said another way, I basically used the same coaching strategy with my 10U girls as I did with the 10U boys and got similar results. IME, when you start coaching the girls like you coach the boys, more times than not, they will rise to the occasion.

I recently had a discussion with my 13YO about how the head coach was particularly hard on the girls at one of the team practices and she said "good, he should be hard on them they deserved to be yelled at, they were not paying attention. I like it when the coach is hard on us.....".

Rocketech1 said:

I have heard this quote before but I'm not so sure its that black and white and is probably too simplistic of an approach to be effective. I have coached both girls softball and boys baseball for many years and I don't think that the differences between the two genders is that significant to make any big changes in your coaching style. Some boys and girls are equally emotional, some are shy, some are outgoing, some are highly competitive, some don't want conflict, etc.

Said another way, I basically used the same coaching strategy with my 10U girls as I did with the 10U boys and got similar results. IME, when you start coaching the girls like you coach the boys, more times than not, they will rise to the occasion.

I recently had a discussion with my 13YO about how the head coach was particularly hard on the girls at one of the team practices and she said "good, he should be hard on them they deserved to be yelled at, they were not paying attention. I like it when the coach is hard on us.....".

Click to expand...

I don't think I'd disagree with what you are saying. Of course, there are all types of kids. Additionally, I don't change that much in the style at which I coach. I always teach and I typically push both my girls and my boys. I don't change my style that much, but sometimes I have to go about it slightly different. I'm going to push any team I coach to be great, but with girls, sometimes I have to do the feel good stuff first. That's really all I'm saying. I understand if you feel differently, and don't blame you.

As for being too simplistic? Aren't most coaching quotes, leadership or motivational quotes too simplistic? If you are using them as the sole basis of your style, maybe so. If you are using them to help you remember a truth or a principle or a value, they are good. If they are used to keep you focused on something that will help you, they are good. In this instance, I was giving something I use that helps me in simple way so that I can keep it in my mind.

When talking with my 11YO dd, she too loves it when my coaches are hard on her, but apparently, I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut even when I'm the HC lol