- Jun 14, 2016
- 270
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It sounds to me like he was trying to motivate her, but just approached it in an awful way for your DD.
I see a scenario where she struggled to get out of the inning (even if it wasn't all her fault), and he thought he needed to go with a tough love approach. He was trying to fire her up with the "grow up" line. I can see how that could work. There are players out there who need that. Your DD is not that type of player (I never was, either, so I get it). It's on the coach to figure out the best way to handle her when she's not playing well.
Hopefully he realized his approach was wrong for her and he'll try something new next time. Of course, it's possible this is the only approach he knows, and in that case, it could be a long season. I'd still encourage you to have her stick it out. Being told to grow up doesn't meet my standard of abuse or belittling.
I should also add that the conversation was the coach, the pitcher, and the catcher. He didn't berate her in front of the team. You say he humiliated her on the field, but how did he do that if he had what amounted to a private conversation that nobody else could hear? In fact, it sounds like he went out of his way to not do that while still delivering the message. So again, that tough love approach isn't the right one for your daughter, but based on this story alone, I'm not sure I'd lump this coach in with the real jerks out there.
Thank you for that perspective. You may be right and she did do better and get out of the inning after that exchange. The tears didn’t come until later when she was alone with me. I guess the momma bear came out in me, and I still think it could have been handled better. She acknowledges she could have done better, I wasn’t making excuses for her. A big part of her problem is he makes her nervous and intimidates her.. I would also like to add that he wasn’t calling anything but fastball even though her changeup is her best pitch. That made it that much harder to get batters out.
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