To confront the HC or see if he handles it himself

[SSmom83]

My DD is on a new 12U travel team & we are currently in Fall Ball... Yesterday was our 2nd game, this game was actually just a scrimage against our 14U team. Our girls made many errors & didn't get any hits. (hit the ball, but no hits) One assistant coach was throwing around some "not so friendly words" in the dug out. He was saying "if they don't want to F***ing be here I can go home" and "I am so pissed off right now" and many others... and of course my DD had to be sitting out that inning too! (atleast she isn't to blame for the errors! lol)

He was saying these things to the HC & my DD said later that the HC just laughed at it. And maybe he didn't want to say anything right then, who knows.

But do I say something to the HC that I don't expect to hear that language coming from a coach... or wait it out to see if it happens again?
What are my lines to NOT cross as a parent... again - new team, so everyone is new to us....

I mean - this isn't how a 12U team should be... should it?

 

[redhotcoach]

I would email a short, not too extreme email to hc. Something like "surprised to hear that language, hope it doesn't continue."

You are right, it has no place in youth sports.

 

[JAD]

DITTO what redhotcoach recommended.....

 

[lazy42]

Personally I can see an accidental slip, however continued and depending on the severity, I would have probably asked the AC to watch his language and\or pulled my daughter. It’s a bad example for the players, and for the program.

 

[CoogansBluff]

.. He was saying "if they don't want to F***ing be here I can go home" and "I am so pissed off right now" ...

The vulgarity is unacceptable. I would not let that pass.

But my question is this:

Why do these coaches get so angry in the first place? Does he think that getting mad at the players is going to make them want to be there? He's probably part of the reason they don't want to be there.

 

[CoachKevin]

The vulgarity is unacceptable. I would not let that pass.

But my question is this:

Why do these coaches get so angry in the first place? Does he think that getting mad at the players is going to make them want to be there? He's probably part of the reason they don't want to be there.

Agreed, The only time I have ever cussed in front of the girls is this year, a 16 team. I told them that when we say go out there and have fun, it really means we want them to kick the other teams a$$.

A scrimmage game against a higher age group team? And dropping the F bomb... unacceptable

 

[rdbass]

The only F bomb dropped should be.... FIRED. Isn't it just a game that youg people should have fun playing?

 

[joemcq51]

I have actually been on the other end of this post. I was a coach who acted like a jerk and mumbled under my breath an "F" bomb. A parent called me out for it in an email. I didn't even realize I had done it. I immediately apologized to team and am much more aware now of my language. As a coach, competing and winning are sometimes all we see. It took me making a jerk of myself to realize this. I would bring it up to the coach and ask if he understands what he was saying. Perhaps he has a job that he uses that type of language every day. Not that that excuses it, but it could help explain it. Just say something to him and try to remain polite.

 

[InsidePitch]

I was all set to bring DD to another teams tryout but after watching this team play a very close game only to lose in the 7th, I immediately crossed them off. The 3rd base coach was dropping F bombs after every inning. The kids did too at the end of the game. This is 14U and yes DD knows the words but we don't use them at home or on the field. You should not have to subject your kid to that regardless of the age group. I'd email the coach and let him know you won't tolerate that kind of behavior around your child. There are plenty of teams where the coaches don't act that way.

 

[SSmom83]

Thanks for the support guys.... just didn't want to be the protective "Mom" if I needed to back off. I thought it was very inappropriate & at first thought there was no way I was hearing what I heard, then it just continued....
My husband wants me to wait & see how the next game goes, he feels that maybe the HC will say something after the game & correct it himself & since we are "new" to this team he doesn't want to ruffle any feathers for our DD.
I sit through every practice (we live 1/2 hr away) & never heard it there. I will see what next Sunday's doubleheader brings and sit closer to the dugout to verify the language used! (even though I heard it loud & clear from 15 feet away yesterday)