Parent and Coach ? Need Help.

[chinamigarden]

This is my first year coaching, My daughter is 11. This is her 2nd year playing. I was pitcher for a local college. I didn't want to push my daughter into loving what I loved so I waited and now that she has shown some interest, I wanted to get "all in" for her. She says she wants to pitch too... I thought "GREAT!" I can help you. We have an issue, I'm her mom, and she's not very good at taking critisism. When I throw her the ball back, she doesn't catch it and then mopes to the ball, slowly picks it up and walks back to the mound. I'm getting aggrevated because she says she really wants to pitch, but never wants to practice. I have her playing second base when she isn't pitching, but she just doesn't hustle quite like the other kids and she gets upset when I correct her on anything... Any thoughts from anyone ?

I have some opinion on whether or not your daughter loves the game as much as she loves the idea of the game. But if I were you I would take her to the best games I could find. Local college perhaps. Let her see what good really looks like. Then tell her what that takes and ask her to decide if she wants to work toward that.

 

[GunnerShotgun]

Take her to a pitching coach even if you are fully qualified. Having someone else point out the same issues worked wonders with my daughter. I let her but heads with the pitching coach for the first 6th months and then it finally clicked. Years later I mentioned to her that we might switch pitching coaches to someone closer to home and she threw a fit.

It was also easier to practice with her one on one at home because I could always say, "John (her pitching coach) says...."

 

[smallball]

Great advice above about letting your DD dictate when pitching practice will be. When my DD first said she wanted to pitch I told her that there were two types of pitchers: pitchers who say they want to pitch and pitchers who show they want to pitch. Your DD probably did sense your excitement at her wanting to learn to pitch. My advice: be patient and try not to show disappointment if she doesn't practice as much as you think she should. If she wants to do it she'll show you.

The best two days of coaching my DD were the day I started coaching her and the day I stopped. It's tough coaching your DD. I coached mine from 10U-12U (she's second year 14U now) and was coach who was harder on his DD than the other players, and I told her as such. I explained that as the coach's daughter, there can be no doubt that she is the best player at the position she plays, lest the other players and/or parents think she plays that position because she is the coach's daughter. I saw my fair share eye rolls and "you're the stupidest person in the world" looks, but she must have been listening because she took the SS position away from the coach's daughter on her current team. And no, I'm not the assistant.

The best advice, of course, is to just treat her exactly the same as every other player on the team.

 

[Pickle]

First born right? I could tell my 1st born that she should back off the plate an inch and she would either flip out or stop talking to me for hours. I could tell my 2nd born that she couldn't hit a beach ball being rolled in, and she would respond with something like "whatever, I can hit better than you" and laugh.

I would say that you guessed it !

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

11 year old girls are indeed hard headed and it doesn't get any better, at least in my experience with 2 daughters (16 and 23).

I would take her to a Pitching Coach.

by the way, I stopped "coaching" her at 13, I am just her catcher.

 

[MK37]

Pickle, your story rings so true for me currently. First year coach and 11 year old daughter as pitcher. I agreed to do this so she could get more experience in games, tournament coach won't let her pitch. Practicing, same as yours. I finally had enough and told her no practice no pitching. She doesn't seem to care but at the same time says she wants to pitch. I've tried everything and I'm convinced she really doesn't want to pitch. I think she enjoyed the daddy time even if things didn't go the best.

The number one thing I learned, I don't enjoy coaching my daughter in games. I just want to go back into the stands and cheer. I love the one on one time with both my girls working on the game in the park just us.

The ball is in her court as to pitching. It's been two weeks since I pitched her last and she has not asked to practice or asked to pitch. I think I have my answer.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

One glove is great for now. Get rid of the t-ball glove, so that it isn't a temptation to wear, again. A lot of my little students are wearing this Walmart.com: Wilson A440 11" Fastpitch Glove: Team Sports

 

[GTRH8R]

Take her to a pitching coach even if you are fully qualified. Having someone else point out the same issues worked wonders with my daughter. I let her but heads with the pitching coach for the first 6th months and then it finally clicked. Years later I mentioned to her that we might switch pitching coaches to someone closer to home and she threw a fit.

It was also easier to practice with her one on one at home because I could always say, "John (her pitching coach) says...."

My DD is not a pitcher, but I coached her until about 11 and then I ran like crazy from it. I pay somebody to coach her now and offer advice when she asks for it.

We're both much happier.

 

[JAD]

Coaching your own daughter under normal circumstances can be difficult, if she has a bad attitude it can be next to impossible. There is no doubt I am tougher on my DD than I am on any other girl on her team, but I always tell her it is because I love her and want her to be the best player she can be. When you look back at your life the teachers, coaches, and mentors who you remember the most are the ones who pushed you to do more than you ever thought you could......I always tell my DD that the worst thing that can happen is for a coach to stop pushing you to improve, because it means they have given up on you!

 

[Dana Marque]

Oh wow - I don't mean to laugh but I am... We have had similiar experiences.. Although my husband is not a college softball player, he is an athlete and listens carefully to what the coaches are saying to her. The pitching coach now uses him because he has learned so much... Anyway, we use to fight to practice ALL THE TIME!!! And then when my husband would point out things such as watch your follow through, you are not pushing out all the way, where is your drag... Look at your feet position... He would always get - "you don't know what you are talking about - only Allison does" or "Allison didn't say that". It got to a point where she was hating us and didn't want to practice or pitch. We decided to take a different approach. No more asking her to practice, no more correcting, etc unless she asks for it. After about a month, she now goes to my husband and asks him to practice with her. She'll even look at him for advice on what she is doing wrong when she is on the mound... He will only help her if she's asks. Her attitude has totally changed and she is now a joy to watch practice with her father... And the kicker was when she came in first place (undefeated this year in rec).. As soon as she made the winning play, she ran to her father with a great big smile and just hugged him... there was not a dry eye in the stands... When I commented about it later, she said she wouldn't have been able to do this without all the help she received from her father... By the way, my DD is only 11...