need advice

I'm just not seeing this to be as big an issue as others.

If the existing 10U coach is up to 12U, he may just have no idea about the 10U b/c it's off his radar, or it's on the back burner while he gets 12U figured out.

And if he's asked you to coach rec, I don't see why he would object to you coaching 10U - I would think he wouldn't have brought it up otherwise. I don't see how your daughter would be left hanging. Our local league just held it's first winter workout as well, but tryouts won't be until spring - I think most of the tournaments don't start up until after HS/Rec leagues finish (aside from the Memorial Day tournaments, but I've barely dipped my toe into the Travel Tub, so I could be getting this bass-ackwards.

Thanks for all the feedback, a few clarifications, sorry for the length:

I have coached my younger DD for 6 years, 2 teeball (baseball), 2 coach pitch, and 2 in 10u, this will be her third year in 10u (unusual age, got caught between difference in baseball (tball) age cutoffs and softball, so started coach pitch at league age 5)

As far as running, not really an option, not much other travel ball around here. Can go with some other teams about 20 minutes further away, but they play in same league, sowe will see this coach again in the season (even though he will not be 10u coach, guaranteed to show up at some games). And he would not be my DDs coach (in TB or LL), he is moving along to 12u. In LL (unless I move to coach travel), I would be her coach again. He is on BOD, and our softball admin, and heavily involved in local travel org (helped get it off the ground).

If I do end up coaching travel, will not be LL HC, as I cannot guarantee I will be around enough due to conflicts.

Guy does manipulate, not necessarily for his gain, but for the benefit of his group of girls, 2004, 2005, couple of 2006s. He has not asked me to coach, simply indicated there was currently no coach lined up for 10u (my assumption is that he is moving up to 12u, since he was the 10u coach). He also did try to get me to volunteer to coach the 14u LL team (if older DD plays, this is where she would play, but unlikely at this point).

Prime motive as far as decision is to do what is best for my daughter, but I think (and hope) I have developed a reputation for doing right by all the girls on my teams (DW thinks I bend over too far backwards like this, like opening day, who is the one girl sitting bench first inning, you guessed it, like 2-3 years in a row, it is DD). I take pride in the development of all the girls I have coached over the course of my time with them, and try very hard to do right by them all. At LL level it is tough sometimes, but they always get better and have fun. I guess my reluctance is a more selfish, as DD gets older, I was looking to maybe take a lesser role, maybe be an AC rather than HC. Heck, I only continued coaching after tball because I was told DD could not play coach pitch at LA 5 unless I coached (they were hard up, 30+ girls registered, only one other coach, we each had like 15 or 16 on our teams), she would have had to play t-ball again (and would probably have quit from boredom).

She does love the game, sometimes tough to motivate her to get outside and practice though, but once I get her out there and engaged, she loves it. One on one helping her is tougher, as of course then I am merely Dad, and therefore know nothing at all.

bottom line, I think I will (after consulting with DW) offer to coach the TB 10u team. see what happens. If I do not get an firm yes, will have her tryout for another travel team a little further away. main concern is DD does not get left out in the cold because I waited on this clown and his noncommittal answers to questions.

hopefully, does not screw over LL too badly (confirmed about a month ago to leage Pres that I would coach again), but actually might work out, think there might be one too many coaches this year anyway, and all three of our girls were same age, if they need another, they should get one with a girl on young end of age bracket.

update, talked with local TB guy again last night (we both showed up for cancelled LL BOD meeting). The TB org he is part of (12u coach, was 10u coach) will not field a 10u team this year due to lack of coach. I halfway expected an inquiry if I would consider coaching, but nothing of the sort. guess we have butted heads to much for him to ask me. Asked his reccommendation then for other TB teams in the area, got one halfhearted answer (team I had already considered and actually reached out to), the other team that my wife found out about while talking to another parent at one of older DDs indoor FH games, asked him what he thought, pretty much nothing (even though I know there are some girls who started in our LL who went to this org). Bottom line, I already had set up to bring younger DD to workout with this team the next night. We went, she loved it, playing with girls who could catch and throw delighted her. seemed to get along OK with girls (but of course that can change and then change again on an on with little girls when the winds shift). Coaches seemed nice. VERY reasonable financially based on phone conversation with one of the guys who run the org (they have built as a feeder program for their HS), the apparently do a lot of fundraising. DD fit in quite well skill wise with the team it seemed as well, ahead of some of the girls in some things, behind in others, but margins are pretty tight. Gonna go to their hitting workout Saturday. She also seemed on a par with the pitchers I saw who stayed half hour after rest of team (along with the one catcher they have). As she wants to pitch and catch, seems there will be opportunity. Team right now only has 9 (including my DD), it is mostly first year travel players, mostly 2007 DOBs (as is my DD).

I am straining to see what I am missing, but not really finding anything. Distance is not bad, 20-30 minutes each way, depending on facility they use for a particular workout. the one coach pretty much already invited her to join (at end of practice DD talked to coach, and said if she has a choice, this team would be her choice (first one she has worked out for though), and coach said they would love to have her, think she meant on team, but then the coach might have meant on Sat for hitting workout, but I think the former).

Only trepidation is talking to HC about her other activities. I understand that TB would be a very high priority, but she also loves swimming. Her winter swim team involves 3-4 saturday meets each winter in Dec/Jan/Feb, they have winter workouts on Saturdays. Summer swim team (local swim club) she would have 4-6 weeknight meets in July, and last Sat in July is always summer championship meet. She absolutely loves her one swim coach (taught her to swim / coaching her since she was three) and the entire swim teams. Swim practices are not an issue, Winter swim they hold practice every weeknight, but are only required to go to 2 or 3 a week. Summer practice is in AM each weekday starting once school is over to end of July. Do you think this would be a dealbreaker type issue for a 10u TB coach? Probably also wants to play soccer in fall, but she understands this would be strictly rec, and would come after TB softball. she is 9, trying to let her keep doing as many different things as possible, really hate to limit her to one thing only this young, think it is better for her physically (swimming is pretty much why she has the muscle tone she does, Dr recently did a double take on her weight at physical, reweighed her twice, could not believe looking at her she weighed as much as she did, then felt her arms, back, etc. realized she is more muscular than most kids her age)

down the rabbithole we go I guess!

bmakj said:

Do you think this would be a dealbreaker type issue for a 10u TB coach? !

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If it is, he's the wrong coach. I had an 8U soccer coach try to pull that crap on me. Went and found another team/coach!

No 10U team because they can't find a coach?! Have you talked with the other parents to let them know you'd be willing to at least help coach? Seems to me that if the parents can get a team together, you have a 10U team.

We've never had a coach with issues with other sports. Even the one coach I couldn't stand in almost every way was flexible with basketball schedules. We've had metro softball (school feeder), basketball, volleyball. It's usually not a problem IME. DH even HC'd DD's basketball team last year, and he was AC on our travel softball team. I think as long as it's all discussed and planned out up front it should be fine. Welcome to the crazy!

cvsoftball said:

No 10U team because they can't find a coach?! Have you talked with the other parents to let them know you'd be willing to at least help coach? Seems to me that if the parents can get a team together, you have a 10U team.

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Thanks for the support on that issue. I really wish that each sport would at least until like 12u go back to one season a year (if you want to work out individually, take pitching lessons, fine, but no organized team play out of season). let these kids try all sorts of different things and sports. It will make them better for it in the end, it is better for their bodies (ask any doctor).

cvsoftball said:

No 10U team because they can't find a coach?! Have you talked with the other parents to let them know you'd be willing to at least help coach? Seems to me that if the parents can get a team together, you have a 10U team.

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I am not in a position time wise to startup a new travel team from scratch. would have been willing to coach a 10u team in the existing local TB org (they have a 14u and a 12u, had a 10u the last couple of years). Don't know who most of the other parents are, we have no coach pitch softball, only coed baseball, so all the 8 and 9 yr old players talent would be coming from there mostly. personally I know about 3-4 girls (and their parents) in 9-10 range with girls with the skill level and interest for TB, but that is it.
This guy’s niece is a 2006, but I am certain she will be playing 12u this year. hence, it seems he is willing to let it die on the vine. If he had asked, I would have coached (over objections of DW), but I would need the support of an existing organization. If I said I wanted to coach 10u travel ball, and found a dozen girls, I am fairly certain none of the other parents of the 3-4 girls I know of would take lead, I would have to do most of it myself from scratch. Insurance, fields, uniforms, fundraising, etc. Probably have big issue finding fields, existing local TB org and LL pretty much have monopoly on all decent fields in the area, basically the LL complex, and backstops and weed ridden fields at local schools, that is about it. basically no public parks in area with softball fields.

I'm really sorry to hear, both for the girls and you. Coaching is one of the greatest endeavors ever.