Making final cuts....

So how does one deal with a potential parent concern -- Your typical busybody/pot stirrer type? Have had the girl for the last two years in house and we are heading out in a 10U travel team next year. Player is deserving and don't want to punish per se....Would you have a direct conversation prior to offer? Unfortunately, most of the information is second hand from other parents since during games, well, I'm busy coaching and directing and not hanging out with the parents.

Drama parents are cut, even if it means the team loses a good player. We start all tryouts/new member additions with the clarification statement that we are a drama free team. We make it clear that if a parent is causing drama their DD will be released from the team. Do you have any such agreement with your parents? You can try to speak to them to see what is causing their issue and at 10U it will probably be that you are not using their DD effectively. Drama people love drama. I think drama is for the stage and not the field.

When you are getting information 2nd or 3rd hand it can be hard, hearsay?

If you are concerned about it, it is worth a conversation with the parents.

OK, the flipside is dad has been one of my ACs and while still developing his instructing skills, he's as reliable as you'd want from an AC and the kids like him. So I have no issue whatsoever with him.

This is a new team so code of conduct, etc is not in place yet - we're still at the tryout phase.

In my intro letter, there was a lot of focus on the team is more than the 12 players but also to the parents - that we all must work together and be moving in the same direction....how one rotten apple can spoil the bunch and how you should handle situations (ie talk to me, it might not be the best idea to talk right after the game etc)

You would not believe some of the things said about my DD in 8U and 10U.

It has seemed to settle down a lot as she has gotten older, some of the same parents.

From my experience 10U can be a challenge.

Good luck this year!

At 10U, I do not like the idea of punishing kids based on the parents. I think you set expectations from Day 1, have the parents sign a code of conduct as to what will not be tolerated and you are firm with it. On the flip side, coaches also have a responsibility to be transparent, fair, and garner the respect of the parents and kids by showing an interest in every player and work with them on their development, both individually and as a team. Many times the drama comes from a lack of communication and transparency of team decisions. Its also important for the head coach to sit down with each family before and during the season to check on the player's progress and areas for improvement and address any concerns. If you are looking for the perfect 12 parents, you will be looking for a very long time. A good head coach needs to be able to handle differing personalities, they are not in that position to just teach softball skills.

Last point, DD is in the process of joining a new team for the Fall. This team has 3 pitchers including my DD. I spoke at length with the head coach that while I would expect all of the players to compete and earn their positions and playing time, I wanted to make sure that my DD at least got the opportunity to compete for time in the circle. He understood and acknowledged my concerns, but did say that the way the schedule is set-up there will be some weeks where pitchers will get less playing time (one game friendlies, double-headers, etc). So last night, he calls me to let me know that he is changing the tournament schedule for this team to play more games and tournaments this Fall so all of the players will get more of an opportunity to play, especially the 3 pitchers. So my point is that I really appreciated the fact that he told me exactly what he is doing with the team and why he is doing it. I don't know this coach that well, but I already like the way he handles himself with the parents.

At 10U, I do not like the idea of punishing kids based on the parents. I think you set expectations from Day 1, have the parents sign a code of conduct as to what will not be tolerated and you are firm with it. On the flip side, coaches also have a responsibility to be transparent, fair, and garner the respect of the parents and kids by showing an interest in every player and work with them on their development, both individually and as a team. Many times the drama comes from a lack of communication and transparency of team decisions. Its also important for the head coach to sit down with each family before and during the season to check on the player's progress and areas for improvement and address any concerns. If you are looking for the perfect 12 parents, you will be looking for a very long time. A good head coach needs to be able to handle differing personalities, they are not in that position to just teach softball skills.

Click to expand...

So nice, it should be said twice...

At 10U, I do not like the idea of punishing kids based on the parents. I think you set expectations from Day 1, have the parents sign a code of conduct as to what will not be tolerated and you are firm with it. On the flip side, coaches also have a responsibility to be transparent, fair, and garner the respect of the parents and kids by showing an interest in every player and work with them on their development, both individually and as a team. Many times the drama comes from a lack of communication and transparency of team decisions. Its also important for the head coach to sit down with each family before and during the season to check on the player's progress and areas for improvement and address any concerns. If you are looking for the perfect 12 parents, you will be looking for a very long time. A good head coach needs to be able to handle differing personalities, they are not in that position to just teach softball skills.

Click to expand...

Wish I could hit "Like" twice. Very well said!

The worst type of parent to have on a team is what I call a "Creeper." They are not loud or obnoxious. What they do is slink from parent to parent trying to infect a team. Talking crap behind a coaches back without directing their concerns to the coaching staff looking for someone to validate their opinion. Often it's not the parent of a top or bottom player on the team. It is usually the parent of an average player who has to split time or is not getting the time a parent thinks they should get. This type of parent is the worst to deal with. If they are loud or obnoxious most parents will stay away from them. The Creeper finds ways to get close to parents and usually has good social manipulation skills.