Prayer circles

dgh31 said:

Politely refusing is out of line? It's so hard for Christians to understand that not everyone is a Christian. This comment is a good example of why religion should stay off the softball fields.

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I like the old saying that you should never discuss sex, politics or religion in polite company. I think that should apply to the softball field as well.

My one exception to the religion part, if it is a church league, I would expect there to be a team prayer. That is the right time and place for it.

I really do think that here in GA, at least, people automatically assume you are a Christian (and by that, I mean generally a Southern Baptist and not something like Catholic). I've experienced it many times in my work as a therapist; people tend to assume that you have the same political/religious perspective that they have even when you don't say a word about either. The prayer circle doesn't offend me as a mostly non-practicing Methodist, but it's a little uncomfortable for me. We just roll with it, but I can see why it upsets some people.

riseball said:

Given the setting and the task at hand I would have to say that your HC was out of line.

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dgh31 said:

Politely refusing is out of line? It's so hard for Christians to understand that not everyone is a Christian. This comment is a good example of why religion should stay off the softball fields.

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Having been placed in the same situation dozens of times I can state that you have two options:

1) Go along with it setting a positive example to your charges, and as much as possible keep it about softball.

2) Make it about yourself with a religious/political statement so you can feel good about yourself.

Might get way to political here but...

Isn't praying about your connection to whatever god you worship, have faith in and requesting their blessing etc? So, if you don't believe in a Christian God, praying to one doesn't hurt anything because you don't have faith in said God. Hell you could even participate and pray to your own.

Regardless, people get too wrapped up in what other people do or don't.

riseball said:

Having been placed in the same situation dozens of times I can state that you have two options:

1) Go along with it setting a positive example to your charges, and as much as possible keep it about softball.

2) Make it about yourself with a religious/political statement so you can feel good about yourself.

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So now by saying yes to "set a positive example" he has made girls on his team feel like their beliefs do not matter and now they feel like they MUST participate to make sure the other team is happy and not offended?

riseball said:

Give the setting and the task at hand I would have to say that your HC was out of line.

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dgh31 said:

Politely refusing is out of line? It's so hard for Christians to understand that not everyone is a Christian. This comment is a good example of why religion should stay off the softball fields.

Click to expand...

nixxy311 said:

So now by saying yes to "set a positive example" he has made girls on his team feel like their beliefs do not matter and now they feel like they MUST participate to make sure the other team is happy and not offended?

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I would be surprised if any of the girls on my 18U team take such an opportunity to reflect on their religious beliefs and use them as a litmus test for participation. They are better than that. As a coach you can make it about yourself, or you can remember why you are there.

nixxy311 said:

So now by saying yes to "set a positive example" he has made girls on his team feel like their beliefs do not matter and now they feel like they MUST participate to make sure the other team is happy and not offended?

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Why do we automatically have to assume that someone is going to feel offended (on either side)? If my daughter and I are out someplace and encounter a difficult situation, I take on the responsibility of an adult. I do what I can to diffuse the situation and make sure my daughter remains safe. Then when we are out of the way, I will address the situation with her and ask her if she has any questions. Likewise, as a coach, I am the adult in the situation. Obviously one of my responsibilities is to ensure that the players are safe. If we are asked to participate in a prayer circle, I am confident that we can participate, mitigate any potential issues, and move on with our lives. Afterwards if any of our players asked questions, I would certainly do what I could to help them. It has nothing to do with making "the girls on my team feel like their beliefs don't matter". Their beliefs are perfectly valid for them. The other team is also entitled to their own beliefs. I know this isn't exactly the same, but DD and I are both hockey fans. Normally when we attend games we hear not only our National Anthem, but also that of Canada. I am not offended by that, nor do I create a scene because the home team doesn't respect my views.

Riseball - My main concern is that if a girl who is capable of making up her own mind and decides to step out of the circle (with support of her parents and her HC), the other team will look down on her or give her evil looks. I'm not saying all will do that but that seems to be how things are getting these days. I'm also confused why you are saying it's the coach making it about themselves. They are there to play a game - it doesn't have to be about anything more than that. And because my DD and others on her team do not want to participate, that means they "aren't better than that?"

FP26 - the issue with the anthems - both anthems are played - in a prayer circle the only prayer being said is the Lord's Prayer.

nixxy311 said:

Riseball - My main concern is that if a girl who is capable of making up her own mind and decides to step out of the circle (with support of her parents and her HC), the other team will look down on her or give her evil looks. I'm not saying all will do that but that seems to be how things are getting these days. I'm also confused why you are saying it's the coach making it about themselves. They are there to play a game - it doesn't have to be about anything more than that. And because my DD and others on her team do not want to participate, that means they "aren't better than that?"

FP26 - the issue with the anthems - both anthems are played - in a prayer circle the only prayer being said is the Lord's Prayer.

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My apologies. To me it simply isn't an issue. I am a Catholic, and happy to be so. I don't force that on anyone. Each person has their own belief system, and it isn't my place to try to change them or judge them in any way. If someone wanted to do a prayer circle and utilize an Islamic, Buddhist, or any other type of prayer, I would respect their beliefs and then be on my way. Their beliefs do not offend me. And my beliefs should not offend them.

Again, if it goes beyond that, then I may have an issue with it. But the circle itself does not bother me in any way. You clearly have a different opinion about that, and that is also fine. You are entitled to that opinion.

I have no problems with others doing a prayer circle. I don't care if our team participates. My only concern is that if someone chooses not to and having them get singled out or looked down upon for doing it. For those saying it's fine - you don't need to do it if you don't want to, there are still those who would look down upon girls if they don't. People should be allowed to question things and stand up for themselves. Because the HC declined participating for his team because some of his players were Jewish, I do not feel like that was out of line. The other coach could have chosen to respect him and done his prayer circle with his own team. Whose beliefs are more important in that case?