Prayer circles

marriard said:

On multiple occasions we have been ostracized in these tournaments for not participating. Literally no one talked to us and opposing teams were nasty to everyone on our team - had coaches not shake hands at the plate, umpires not give us calls, even a stare down or two and so on. Final straw was being called something deeply offensive (and religious based) by a tournament director and told it was my fault because we didn't 'believe'. It was pathetic. We don't go to these tournaments any more because of this.

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We are from the panhandle of Florida. My daughter's team will hold hands around the pitching circle and will recite The Lord's prayer after every game. Most of the times the opposing team will join them and sometimes they will not. Our girls and parents will get upset and think that the opponents are cocky when they don't join them in prayer. They feel offended when the opponents walk off after giving hi fives after the game. Can't blame the kids for thinking like that, parents need to educate them.

Phandle said:

We are from the panhandle of Florida. My daughter's team will hold hands around the pitching circle and will recite The Lord's prayer after every game. Most of the times the opposing team will join them and sometimes they will not. Our girls and parents will get upset and think that the opponents are cocky when they don't join them in prayer. They feel offended when the opponents walk off after giving hi fives after the game. Can't blame the kids for thinking like that, parents need to educate them.

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Yes - our bad experiences were totally 80% adult related behavior - the other 20% was kid related behavior clearly influenced by the adults.

When I was a high school baseball player in the 1980s (wow, that's seems like a long time ago), we always had a prayer circle prior to our games. Just something we did. Never really thought about it much. Personally I see it as a matter of choice and wouldn't pressure anyone in either direction.

Sometimes it is just a matter of being respectful. My wife and I were at a wedding a few years ago for a couple that was of a different faith than us. We didn't say "sorry, can't come because of your religion". We showed up, were respectful, and shared in their celebration. No one there tried to convert us or anything. We had a good time and then moved on. I have my beliefs, you have yours. I will not force mine on you. Please don't force yours on me. Maybe I am naive, but it is my belief that people can coexist if they focus on being respectful of each other instead of finding some way to always be offended.

FP26 said:

Sometimes it is just a matter of being respectful. My wife and I were at a wedding a few years ago for a couple that was of a different faith than us.

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That's the point. You went to the wedding fully expecting that they would do things different than what you believe. Kids go to softball game to play softball and not to make decision on whether to participate in prayer or be a rebel and stand out. It should not come to "if you don't like it stay out of it."

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nixxy311 said:

When DD went to a State tournament for All Stars a few years ago we were first introduced to prayer circles after the game. They all seemed to do them at the All Star World Series as well. Teams don’t really do them in our local rec league so it’s not something we’re used to. In DDs last two TB tournaments, the teams did them as well.

Just curious if this is just a southern thing or if it’s done all over. And what your thoughts are about them. TBH, we don’t agree with making the entire team do it because not everyone is the same religon and shouldn’t be expected to say the same prayer.

DD stood outside the circle after one game but her HC said she should stand with her team at the next one. DH talked to him and HC said he would talk to the team about their thoughts.

Does anyone know how they became a thing?

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Here in Oklahoma there are a few 10U coaches that do it..and they even ask that the other team do it with them. I go to church every week and I can't stand it as it puts kids in an uncomfortable position for no reason. One guy only does it if he wins..lol. While you would be right if you said kids need to be able to deal with such situations when they arise organically I would agree. In these cases they are manufactured situations. I doubt whatever God they are praying to cares one bit about softball.... Growing up playing ball in the Northeast I never saw that happen once.

Phandle said:

That's the point. You went to the wedding fully expecting that they would do things different than what you believe. Kids go to softball game to play softball and not to make decision on whether to participate in prayer or be a rebel and stand out. It should not come to "if you don't like it stay out of it."

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I guess it is difficult for me to understand because we have never had any issues with it. Someone wants to do it? Fine. Someone doesn't want to do it? Fine again. If it is taken to the extent that [MENTION=5070]marriard[/MENTION] discusses, then it is completely out of hand, and I would have an issue with it as well.

We do it after every game in the south that we have played as a travel team (5 years) and everyone is free to join. We do not go and ask them to do so, that way they don't have to say yes or no. No pressure, usually it is the Lord's Prayer but sometimes one of the girls leads the team in another prayer. My thoughts are if they don't want to participate, don't recite the prayer. Just stand with your team in solidarity if you would like, or right outside the circle would be fine too. If the whole team decided not to join in the circle afterwards, that is alright too! And I PROMISE you, if your daughter asked to lead the team in a second prayer, no matter what religion it was, we would invite them to do so also. I really feel like we do it to create connections and camaraderie after what is sometimes a very intense game. Our team actually gets together (by themselves) before each game and one girl leads them in a prayer for safety before each game. They started doing it about two years ago on their own and it stuck. I was raised Catholic but do not regularly attend mass, so I am in the minority down here surrounded by mostly Baptist and non-denominational Christian families. My husband is HC and wasn't raised religiously at all. So it has truly been a player lead thing for us. And just a side note, if the other team immediately heads for the dugout, our girls will do their post game prayer in the dugout or in the team post-game meeting. I have always thought it was done that way so that the other team would never feel uncomfortable or like they were "missing" something. I have never seen anyone shamed or thought poorly of for choosing not to participate by anyone we associate with. We respect the rights of others to pray/not pray however they would like. And we will exercise that same right.

Phandle said:

We are from the panhandle of Florida. My daughter's team will hold hands around the pitching circle and will recite The Lord's prayer after every game. Most of the times the opposing team will join them and sometimes they will not. Our girls and parents will get upset and think that the opponents are cocky when they don't join them in prayer. They feel offended when the opponents walk off after giving hi fives after the game. Can't blame the kids for thinking like that, parents need to educate them.

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So what happens if your team travels north and all the other teams do the high five line and walk off of the field? Do the parents get their noses out of joint? As you said, the kids don't need the education. The parents do. That is where the behavior is learned. I'm not in the Bible Belt so I guess I don't have a firm grasp of how important it can be to the families.

I have no problem with anyone's religion. Where I'm at there are many, many different churches, shrines, synagogues, mosques and temples. Believe what makes you fell good about yourself. But don't ever try to force your views on me or my family. That's when I have an issue with religions, or more to the point, the people who practice the religion.

We have them in the Midwest and the issue I have noticed with them as others pointed out is the decision to join or not to join. In a team based sport it adds peer pressure (to join or sometimes not to join). It gets more confusing when adults (coaches) are involved (or not involved) in the circles.

They circles aren't frequent but they seem to always randomly happen a few times every year (at all ages). Just my observations as a coach.