A Dad and a Daughter

I had a really tough day yesterday as we had limbs down, ... I had to cut them up and haul them away and so, I was absolutely drenched in sweat and worn out. I went to a local deli to get a sweet tea and they have the best sweet tea in town. I ran into an old friend who is a lot younger than I. I asked him how his dd was doing and I know she is going to be very good. He had heard we were giving lessons and asked if I could get his dd in. I told him we just shut down but I would do a lesson or two if it would help with tryouts. His answer was that a lesson or two won't matter and that his dd is horrible. I told him I saw her when she was very young playing and she was the best on the field. His answer was, "yeah well the girls on the field were worse." No matter how much I tried to reassure him that everything is alright and that his dd will be very good, he kept saying that she does not meet his standards. My goodness, she is 10 now.

I walked away knowing I have to do a few things. First, I have to give this young lady lessons. Next, I have to tell him that he is the problem. It might ruin a friendship but it has to be said. I know the type of relationship some of you have with your dd. I know that members like Sluggers are very close to their DDs and have done such an outstanding job of raising them. Most of you seem to have such great lines of communication between you and your dds. I know that BB and I talk about everything and I mean everything. Walking away from the encounter really made my bad day horrible. If this dad is half as bad with his dd as it seemed in talking to him, she is absolutely miserable.

Please, for those of you that haven't stepped back and check yourself, for your dd's sake PLEASE do so.

On a daily basis I remind warriorangela that I swear she looks like the cable man that stepped into our home 15 years ago....

Cannonball said:

Ia lesson or two won't matter and that his dd is horrible..

Click to expand...

Please send me thier Email address so we can talk, he doesn't know what horrible is until he sees DD try to play.

WARRIORMIKE said:

On a daily basis I remind warriorangela that I swear she looks like the cable man that stepped into our home 15 years ago....

Click to expand...

DD #1 burned me once. She was giving me a really hard time, so I said if she acted like that she wasn't my daughter. She said: "I know, I'm the mailman's daughter"

If you need some ammo you can tell him about a girl that played on our team last year.

She was 14 and was a very good pitcher. When she pitched we felt she would always keep us in the game. Great control, decent speed
good curve and this kid is just a pleasure to have on your team. Even after 3 errors in an inning she would just get the ball, smile and execute
her pitch. Playing wise she was just OK, had some pop, but swing mechanics were off and her dad didn't like working on D too much versus
pitching. Anyway she struggled a little in the Fall and then this her Freshman year in High School to get her pitching back. Since she was a year
older and in HS didn't play on our 14 team this year. One of our AC's took some his HS players and out top 14's and is starting a 16U team right now.
He asked her if she wanted to play and she was excited to play. She asked her dad and he said , "no I don't want you to embarrass yourself by trying
to pitch". It wouldn't have cost him a dime to let her come out and practice with us. I'm sure this Coach although not a PC could get her pitching well
again. I offered to drive her home from every practice as her little sister practices right before us, but the dad is a big fat no. Make sure this guy with
a 10 YO kid doesn't become like this.

It is so sad. I've watched a few parents like this through the years who either come unglued continually, or some just during and after games. So sad to see them in tears on the way to the cars win or lose because their dad can't wait to berate them about every last thing they did during the practice, game or tourney.

Not sure if your DD is involved in these lessons you are doing but a few comments from her to the dad might go a long way too. He needs to know that he is crushing her spirit and that will probably spread to her entire life not just her softball career. Many times these are the girls that get involved too young with a guy who will tell her she is pretty and perfect just the way she is.

I think DD and I have developed a really special bond due to our shared time with softball and I think as we see that she may not end up being a college player after all, and that her career may only be a few more years through high school, we are cherishing our bucket time, drives to tourney's etc. when we share a lot of laughs and chats. Too bad that these people can't see what they are missing.

These stories make me sad. Cannonball, I hope you can break through to her dad and help him understand what DFP's always say, 'it's a journey, enjoy it.'

My heart is heavy for this girl and her father. I often have to remind myself the real gift is just that they are my DD(s) - honestly, everything else is gravy.

Classof2020 said:

It is so sad. I've watched a few parents like this through the years who either come unglued continually, or some just during and after games. So sad to see them in tears on the way to the cars win or lose because their dad can't wait to berate them about every last thing they did during the practice, game or tourney.

Not sure if your DD is involved in these lessons you are doing but a few comments from her to the dad might go a long way too. He needs to know that he is crushing her spirit and that will probably spread to her entire life not just her softball career. Many times these are the girls that get involved too young with a guy who will tell her she is pretty and perfect just the way she is.

I think DD and I have developed a really special bond due to our shared time with softball and I think as we see that she may not end up being a college player after all, and that her career may only be a few more years through high school, we are cherishing our bucket time, drives to tourney's etc. when we share a lot of laughs and chats. Too bad that these people can't see what they are missing.

Click to expand...

This is what I am afraid of. (Bold above.) It is like he is embarrassed that she is not up to his standards. Why not love your kid and enjoy them for being unique. I may have told this story before but when BB was born, her heart stopped. They were running her around here and there and in a "panic." Well, "panic" as I am not used to seeing them work in these type situations. Anyway, about 4 hours later, I got to hold BB. They told us that she would be 4 years old before we would know whether she had sustained any brain damage since some brain damage is seen right away and some show up as a child has to process information in learning. This made both my wife and I so thankful that we had a child at all. We've never taken a moment with her for granted.

That makes me sad. She's lucky you'll stand up for her. I hope he takes it to heart.