The more I think about it, especially after getting some great advice here, I know I am too critical of her. It kinda sucks to admit that.... I guess I'm the jerk.
what to do with "that kid"
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The more I think about it, especially after getting some great advice here, I know I am too critical of her. It kinda sucks to admit that.... I guess I'm the jerk.
You're getting good input here. I found with my DD that she improved faster after I was off the field. Took me a couple seasons to figure that out. I learned to shut up and just be there to catch her, pitch BP to her, and hit her ground balls, bunts, and fly balls. She knew what she had to work on and she did. Started playing up (pretty well) after I quit coaching. Good luck!
I had similar Learning when my daughter was younger. I realized I'd rather be dad than coach. I waited until she went off to college to start my coaching career. We have a great relationship with fond memories of working out together through high school and college. If I had forced the issue of coaching her back then, I know things would not be as good as they are now. Do what's best for your child, you can always coach later. Softball is not going anywhere. Good luck.
I read through this, I might have missed it but have you talked to other players on the team about your DD? That will really tell you how they perceive your DD, or have an assistant ask them if your worried they won't tell you the truth. I have seen this before, and the HC never did anything and it got worse and worse. I understand you probably just can't leave the coaching, that isn't fair to the other 11 or so who joined the team you are coaching. The only thing I might suggest, if the other kids on the team feel that she is mean and not a good team mate, is to sit her for a long time.
I really got lucky with my DD, while she was never the strongest player on any team, she was solid and a pretty smart player. I do have to admit through the years I made her cry several times... but Mom always brought me back to Earth about how I was treating her. To this day, when we were 1st year 14, there were a couple of new players that joined the team. It was about 3 weeks to a month of indoor practice, and one of the parents finally asked which one was my DD. I'll never forget that haha
I really got lucky with my DD, while she was never the strongest player on any team, she was solid and a pretty smart player. I do have to admit through the years I made her cry several times... but Mom always brought me back to Earth about how I was treating her. To this day, when we were 1st year 14, there were a couple of new players that joined the team. It was about 3 weeks to a month of indoor practice, and one of the parents finally asked which one was my DD. I'll never forget that haha
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Okay, so I missed the last line of your post. Even so, what would you do it she weren't your kid?
This is not uncommon. Take it easy on yourself.
But remember it when you interact with her on the field. ;-)
[[/QUOTE]The more I think about it, especially after getting some great advice here, I know I am too critical of her. It kinda sucks to admit that.... I guess I'm the jerk.[/QUOTE]
I was way worse but I'm am in rehab now. I've learned to try to be as patient with my own DD as I am with other girls. Its hard though. I expected too much. The "other" kids are not afforded the opportunities that I have provided via private lessons, college clinics, kobata clinics, hours of bucket time, xeno's, ringors,...the list goes on and on. So in my feeble mind, I'm expecting some serious bang for my bucks. where's the home runs?, Where are the no hitters? where is the diving stops in the field? When DD says "this isn't FUN anymore, I'm tired of getting the 3rd degree on the way home" I hope you are listening.
I realize you are stuck there for the season. I get that, been there. just be fair. all parent coaches/kids chirp at each other on the field. you know when its crossing that line. when it does- calmly remove her from the game and sit her. don't get into it with her in the dugout or on the car ride home. Wait until you are home and relaxed to discuss the events. I had to do this in a championship game one time. It had to be done. We lost but secretly I won.
also, every team DD has played on since I hung it up has allowed me to be involved with getting them ready to play at a high level so I have been able to get my coaching fix.
I was way worse but I'm am in rehab now. I've learned to try to be as patient with my own DD as I am with other girls. Its hard though. I expected too much. The "other" kids are not afforded the opportunities that I have provided via private lessons, college clinics, kobata clinics, hours of bucket time, xeno's, ringors,...the list goes on and on. So in my feeble mind, I'm expecting some serious bang for my bucks. where's the home runs?, Where are the no hitters? where is the diving stops in the field? When DD says "this isn't FUN anymore, I'm tired of getting the 3rd degree on the way home" I hope you are listening.
I realize you are stuck there for the season. I get that, been there. just be fair. all parent coaches/kids chirp at each other on the field. you know when its crossing that line. when it does- calmly remove her from the game and sit her. don't get into it with her in the dugout or on the car ride home. Wait until you are home and relaxed to discuss the events. I had to do this in a championship game one time. It had to be done. We lost but secretly I won.
also, every team DD has played on since I hung it up has allowed me to be involved with getting them ready to play at a high level so I have been able to get my coaching fix.
I should have explained a little better. You don't ask in a team setting, it's one on one and ask open-ended questions like who do you feel is the best team mate? You do you feel is not such a good team mate? For a couple of years the HC had a girl on his team that 99% of the team did not like, she was mean, would say nasty things, blamed others for her own mistakes, things like that. He didn't have a clue how bad it really was. I just casually went to each player and talked to them as I explained above. I talked to the HC about my findings which clued him in to watch a little closer... after Fall Ball he released her. Things are much better now.
- Jul 17, 2014
- 9
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I am an assistant coach in 12-U B. My HC has the same issue with his daughter. She is a catcher and has sometimes not instituted his plays or not called the requested pitches because she feels she knows better and has shown disrespect from time to time. My HC is also very hard on her, finds it harder to compliment her and recognizes that she pushes his buttons sometimes, LOL.
As a result, I play the disciplinarian role with her. She responds better to me and I am able to have conversations with her that her Dad just cannot. It works pretty well and for the most part their relationship has improved. In fact, the assistant coaches have this arrangement for our own daughters! While my DD has never been disrespectful or thrown fits, she just doesn't respond to my constructive criticism in the same way she does the HC or other ACs. Using proxies has worked pretty well for us.
-PC
As a result, I play the disciplinarian role with her. She responds better to me and I am able to have conversations with her that her Dad just cannot. It works pretty well and for the most part their relationship has improved. In fact, the assistant coaches have this arrangement for our own daughters! While my DD has never been disrespectful or thrown fits, she just doesn't respond to my constructive criticism in the same way she does the HC or other ACs. Using proxies has worked pretty well for us.
-PC
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