Things you would do different for your daughter if you could go back in time.

[YOCOACH]

1) DD started travel ball as a 2nd year 12u. I think first year 12u would have been ideal for her. Everything has worked out fine, but the transition to 14u after only 1 year of travel ball was difficult. Of course, that may have played to her favor as well.
2) During her first 2 or 3 years of travel ball, I was one of those overbearing parents that many threads are started about. Eventually I learned the error in my ways and changed for the better (I think). In my opinion, DD and I have a much better relationship now, and our family is much happier as well. I wish I would have learned that lesson sooner.
3) I would have not become a coach. I love coaching. I love working with the players (especially hitting). But there have been a lot of sacrifices that have been made as a result. The personal sacrifices are fine. But there have been several opportunities that DD has passed up because of our families commitment to the "team", the other players, and their families. While many people out there make decisions with only their daughter as the primary stakeholder, we have made numerous decisions over the years with the "team" as the focus. And I am concerned that this has held DD back to a certain extent.

Overall we have been very happy with our travel ball experience. We had one terrible season that I have posted about before and won't bore anyone with again. Otherwise, we have been involved with two tremendous organizations, with great players, and wonderful families. I have enjoyed the process. And most importantly I have enjoyed the valuable time I have been blessed to spend with DD. I would never trade that for anything. But there was one opportunity in particular that I often wonder about. What if?

Andy, I would agree with everything you said except #3. Not the loving coaching part, but about how you or your daughter may have sacrificed something. I completely disagree! Your DD found where she needs to be playing at a school she wants to be at in the end. No matter what you wanted, it's her journey and as long as she's happy, that's all that matters. As far as I'm concerned, you were a HUGE success!

 

[YOCOACH]

Best MLB pitcher in my lifetime IMO was Pedro Martinez and his best pitch was probably his changeup. Used properly, at the correct
times and with a fastball which you need to respect, a good changeup can make even the best hitters look silly.

That May be true, and I entirely agree with your assessment, however, a properly trained 12U-16U hitter will take that thing long in SB since, a majority of the time, it's nothing more than a slow pitch lob. Mind you, I'm talking about about a majority of TB teams' pitchers and not an elite pitcher.

 

[YOCOACH]

It takes a special kind of idiot to say that to a 11/12 year old girl regardless of whether he believed it to be true or not.

It depends whether the coach believes in the "cooker pressure" method or not.

 

[YOCOACH]

I just got back from a week in the Netherlands. I wish I had known. That would've been cool to see a game and root for the USA kids over there!!! Instead I got dragged to watch the world cup on a screen for 100+ minutes and only 3 scores. I could have converted my Dutch coworkers to a real sport!!!

If you want DD to actually play SB over there let me know! Every January there are several teams that make the trip to play against 5 other countries teams' Olympic players but they only get in by former members recommendations or through a certain Showcase event. Emily went over this year and faced Denmark players, French Players, Russian players, German players and Great Britain. They were mixed teams mind you but it was still a great experience. Just a caveat, it's an indoor tournament.

However, they travel to Paris after the 3 day tournament for 2 days of sightseeing and London is only a Chunnel away if you want to sneak over there for a day which Emily and my wife Jane did. It made Emily's whole trip just to take a picture next to Dr Who's Tardis!

We will also be traveling over there again next year to play since she was invited back but we couldn't afford the trip 2 years in a row.

 

[Agbracing]

That May be true, and I entirely agree with your assessment, however, a properly trained 12U-16U hitter will take that thing long in SB since, a majority of the time, it's nothing more than a slow pitch lob. Mind you, I'm talking about about a majority of TB teams' pitchers and not an elite pitcher.

With a lob change up I agree but if it leaves the hand looking flat like a fastball but it’s around 12 mph off the fastball and drops at the plate. It’s hard for many hitters.

 

[YOCOACH]

With a lob change up I agree but if it leaves the hand looking flat like a fastball but it’s around 12 mph off the fastball and drops at the plate. It’s hard for many hitters.

Good. Now how many pitchers at the B and C levels, which make up the vast majority of softball players across this country, have you seen that have anything above that? I've been coaching TB for the past 16 years. I've coached everything from rec level C TB teams through GOLD/Elite Teams. I'm telling you, very few players have a CU at 12U and usually 14U that aren't a lob pitch. The pitchers that don't at that age, are either a misplaced pitcher playing lower classes of TB, have uninformed parents at that age, the family and pitcher are just doing it for fun as a recreational sport(yes I've had several) or are plainly undiscovered and the following year, are heavily recruited by surrounding teams playing at much higher level. Very rarely will you see a true CU at the lower age groups unless you are in a major city surrounded by organizations that are highly competitive on a National scale. That's all I'm saying

 

[_MIA_]

That May be true, and I entirely agree with your assessment, however, a properly trained 12U-16U hitter will take that thing long in SB since, a majority of the time, it's nothing more than a slow pitch lob. Mind you, I'm talking about about a majority of TB teams' pitchers and not an elite pitcher.

I said a good changeup...

 

[chinamigarden]

I love the adult my dd has turned out to be. Just turned 21. I wouldn't change a thing. We let her play the game the way she wanted, and with who she wanted to play with. She played multiple sports from about age 7 and continued all the way through HS. We knew it might limit her growth in softball, but its what she wanted so its what she did.

Now a lot of people will say, well you are the parent and you should be the one telling her... We made the decision to let her do what she wanted in softball and other sports, as long as grades were kept up, rules were followed, chores were done...

She has turned out to be a responsible, intelligent, hard working lady. Again, I wouldn't change a thing.

 

[ScottyDont]

For DD1, I should have pulled her off of her 18U Gold team before her senior year. After a good first year, and a so-so second year, I should have seen the writing on the wall. Her senior year was miserable, spent most of her time sitting the bench, and was not ready for her freshman year of college ball. Should have known better after being lied to by the coaching staff the year before, but we felt obligated to stay after her recruitment and verbal commitment.

For DD2, she should have skipped her second year of 14U ball and moved up to 18U. She had fun with her team, but we both agree it hurt her recruiting with some of the "big name" schools she was looking at. We played in a lot of tournaments with no coaches around, while some of her peers verballed to their school of choice . Great coaches, and she had a good year, but I think we'll always wonder "what if?".

 

[KPower]

DD is only 14U now...but I would have pulled her from the team she spent 4 years on MUCH sooner than we did.
The team DD is on now has great families, great girls and fantastic coaching. She has been given opportunities that she was never given on her old team. These coaches know softball and they know teamwork...her old coach ran the same exact practice every time for 2 years. This new coach looks at each game/tourney and takes note of what to work on in practice that coming week. There is constant movement at practice and no standing around for an hour shagging balls while everyone else hits. Even DD has commented that she feels like she wasted the past couple of years when she could have been growing. Her current coach said he wished he had had her for the past 3 years. (We do too!)

We put off changing teams for a couple years because it was convenient and easy. We knew what to expect and knew she would get play time. But it wasn't a good thing. We now drive over 1.5 hours to practice and every minute is worth it! She earned her spot, plays hard and learns something new every practice.

Honestly - that is my only regret. I love the journey...I love the ups and the downs, the victories and the defeats. I am going to be so sad when it's over.