Suspended from next entire tournament for discipline. Too much?

[iclickjohn]

I am an assistant coach on our 12U team. One of the very top girls on the team an 11 yo, made accusations towards a girl (12yo) who missed an easy catch and made a few other errors. In the dugout during the game, she told this girl SHE was the reason we were loosing the game. The older girl then started crying. It got out to the head coach that this happened. After the game the girls were in their post game circle for the coaches summary. And just after this, the head coach with a very stern and loud voice called the girl by name and the parents by name for a private talk, ten feet away from the other girls. I don't have any problem with the girl getting discipline on this. However, how much discipline is needed, and is public humility to be included in the discipline? This girl also told me that the kids at school were all talking about her not being able to play in the next weekends tournament. One of the 2 coaches must have told their daughters, because I didn't. I agree there should be discipline but:
At what point is public humility OK? Or should this have been kept completely confidential? And, an entire tournament?
I'm the team statistician/assistant coach and the head coach is a good friend. But the kids come to me when they are having issues. This one didn't come my way.

 

[Eric F]

I'm not sure what the right discipline call is in this situation, but somewhere the lesson of "win as a team, lose as a team" needs to be included. Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes it affects the outcome of the game, sometimes it doesn't. Based on your description, the 11yo girl needs to learn a couple of lessons.

 

[bucket pinata]

Public Humiliation is not the right way to handle it, so I disagree with that part. However since it appears this was a pattern with this player she would be looking for another team if I was coach.

 

[Sweet Lou]

Sounds like reasonable punishment to me.

Different situation because of age but our U8 team HC has 3 rules for our girls -
#1 is support your teammates.
#2 is hustle.
#3 is have fun.
He goes over those 3 rules at every practice.

 

[WARRIORMIKE]

I would advise you to stay out of it and agree with the HC. His discipline is appropriate for that girls actions. Regardless if the public humiliation was there. He may be bringing her "way down" then "bringing her back up" later

 

[PA SB Dad]

The HC certainly did not publicly humiliate the 11 yo girl to the same extent that the girl did to her teammate. He called them over for a private talk. Even if he had suspended her in a meeting a day later (out of sight from the team), the other girls would have found out. The 11 yo does need to learn some humility...but I don't think she was publicly humiliated.

 

[iclickjohn]

Thank you all, I was almost going to say something, but you make valid points. I'll keep my mouth shut. Probably the best thing to move forward.

 

[WARRIORMIKE]

Thank you all, I was almost going to say something, but you make valid points. I'll keep my mouth shut. Probably the best thing to move forward.

As a HC myself, I always do the "good cop, bad cop" thing. Works every time. For some reason though, I always play the bad cop!! LOL

 

[oregonfp]

I believe at the 12u level this amount of discipline is excessive. As a AC on a 14u TB team I would have no problem talking HC about this punishment BUT the thing is our HC would have consulted the staff before making this big of a decision. After the fact all you can do is support the call.

 

[sluggers]

The way he did it was to make sure that everyone knew that that kind of conduct would not be tolerated. He didn't berate her in front of the other girls, so I think it is OK.

I can't make a determination about the fairness of the suspension. It depends a lot on the particular kid. My inclination would have been to kick her off the team.