Playing Time and Parent Problems

[gdc03120]

This is the first year I've actually done any sort of "guest player" situation, only because I had the possibility of having a week of games with only 8 players. I'll be the first to admit I was very iffy on how to handle the matter, but when the team (and I) saw the guest players playing at a higher level than some of my own, the team made the decision they should be kept around for what games they are available - that is, until they realized some of them would lose out on playing time because the better players should play. Other posters have said, "Guest players should be played because of what they bring to the team in that instance". But at the same time, regulars should also get their regular playing time. Hence why I felt the rotation I did last evening was fair to everyone. Obviously some non-coach parents felt otherwise (the perils of running/managing a team solely on my own.)

It's been a very bumpy road in terms of handling it - most parents around here have the mentality that "everyone practices, everyone plays", which I don't believe in at all (even as a former athlete who spent a lot of time on the bench). If a player(s) is/are not practicing at a level that shows they are retaining information from practices while in games, or behaving appropriately and have to be talked to, they warrant time on the bench/as a sub - whether guest or regular players. That was part of the original issue of this post (and was addressed with the parents multiple times, so it shouldn't have been a surprise). Next year, hopefully, I won't have a need for this to happen and I'll have enough committed bodies all season long, but in the event I don't, at least now I've seen what I can do to ensure my girls get enough time while my guests are treated fairly and aren't begged to play just to sit the bench so some pissy parents don't take their ball (kid) and go home.

 

[Easton33]

Some of my "regular" parents were getting pissed because I rotated a different outfielder to sit out the 1 inning, including the 2 girls (who were fine, they understood, so did the parents), and that possibly meant a "regular" girl was sitting for an inning when the other girls were. One parent even went so far as to say, "Maybe if you weren't such a sh***y coach, you'd have a good team" (neglecting the fact his girl hit .420 for me last year and has only barely hit .250 for me this year). I'm at a loss for what to do - I try helping my team out by AVOIDING getting killed and losing positive attitudes/momentum with our playoff tournament on Saturday, but when I try to help, nobody seems to either a.) Understand/hear out my side, or b.) Give a damn if it's not about their kid. Where's the line?

I told you so..... End of season kick every kid who's parent had something to say and build a different team

 

[schwabach]

If I have learned one thing from softball, it is this:


If your daughter is happy with her situation, sit back and enjoy the ride.

All parents should take this to heart.

A corollary rule is:

If you don't like your team, find another one. Don't expect to change the current team.

 

[Sweet Lou]

This is the first year I've actually done any sort of "guest player" situation, only because I had the possibility of having a week of games with only 8 players. I'll be the first to admit I was very iffy on how to handle the matter, but when the team (and I) saw the guest players playing at a higher level than some of my own, the team made the decision they should be kept around for what games they are available - that is, until they realized some of them would lose out on playing time because the better players should play. Other posters have said, "Guest players should be played because of what they bring to the team in that instance". But at the same time, regulars should also get their regular playing time. Hence why I felt the rotation I did last evening was fair to everyone. Obviously some non-coach parents felt otherwise (the perils of running/managing a team solely on my own.)

It's been a very bumpy road in terms of handling it - most parents around here have the mentality that "everyone practices, everyone plays", which I don't believe in at all (even as a former athlete who spent a lot of time on the bench). If a player(s) is/are not practicing at a level that shows they are retaining information from practices while in games, or behaving appropriately and have to be talked to, they warrant time on the bench/as a sub - whether guest or regular players. That was part of the original issue of this post (and was addressed with the parents multiple times, so it shouldn't have been a surprise). Next year, hopefully, I won't have a need for this to happen and I'll have enough committed bodies all season long, but in the event I don't, at least now I've seen what I can do to ensure my girls get enough time while my guests are treated fairly and aren't begged to play just to sit the bench so some pissy parents don't take their ball (kid) and go home.

It sounds like you are in a difficult situation with this team. It appears that your goals as a coach may be somewhat different from the parents of the kids play.

Not saying it's your fault, I've certainly had my share of teams where the parent's expectations simply weren't reasonable given the talent we had.

Your last guess playing situation sure sounds a lot better than your first and for what it's worth I think you handled it well, but it's possible parents are still recalling the first guest play situation and projecting it on to this one.

Anyway good luck this weekend.

 

[SMS90]

We had another situation pop up last night. I didn't have my 2nd pitcher, so I had 9 girls going up against the 2nd best team in the league (who has no problem steamrolling anyone). So 2 twin girls who played a game for me earlier in the season (they are 12U TB girls - GREAT attitudes, loved by the kids, parents are great, and they don't care where/when they play - one's a P, the other's a C) said they were open to helping us out for the game. I said sure. We batted everyone and free-subbed on defense.

Some of my "regular" parents were getting pissed because I rotated a different outfielder to sit out the 1 inning, including the 2 girls (who were fine, they understood, so did the parents), and that possibly meant a "regular" girl was sitting for an inning when the other girls were. One parent even went so far as to say, "Maybe if you weren't such a sh***y coach, you'd have a good team" (neglecting the fact his girl hit .420 for me last year and has only barely hit .250 for me this year). I'm at a loss for what to do - I try helping my team out by AVOIDING getting killed and losing positive attitudes/momentum with our playoff tournament on Saturday, but when I try to help, nobody seems to either a.) Understand/hear out my side, or b.) Give a damn if it's not about their kid. Where's the line?

Drama sure does seem to follow you around. To paraphrase an old saying when everywhere you go there is drama, maybe it's not them being the problem but you. I see a lot of blaming and demeaning of others but very little responsibility on your part. If you treat parents in person the way you refer to them here no wonder you get upset parents.

 

[gdc03120]

a.) My calling them "pissy" above is nowhere close to them slandering my team and I, specifically referring to me as an "immature, arrogant piece of s**t" on a social media site and a "sh***y coach" in front of this dad's own daughter. That's a very peculiar view of things.

b.) Considering that I'm the only coach of this team and the only one who organizes anything, it's my job to handle all the responsibility. I am trying to ensure the success and well-being of my team and program through whatever means I can provide. No player had an issue with our guest situation last night - everyone understood 1 player would sit out per inning, including the guest players who know the situation (they do travel ball) and were completely fine with sitting out (and their parents were fine as well - they understand). What seems to be the issue is the parents' interpretation of things, and maybe that IS my error in not making things clear. If parents want to pull their kids from the team after the season is done, that's their choice, and I've made that clear when it's been thrown at me as well.

Next year, I will have (and have already started writing it) a full list of what is expected of PLAYERS and what is expected of PARENTS as members of this team. And it will say (in some form) at the bottom in big, bold letters: Failure by parents/players to abide by the agreed-upon rules can and may result in lessened playing time for the respective player and potential dismissal from the team. Participation is voluntary and playing time/positions are solely at the discretion of the head coach. Or something like this, anyway.

 

[FP26]

a.) My calling them "pissy" above is nowhere close to them slandering my team and I, specifically referring to me as an "immature, arrogant piece of s**t" on a social media site and a "sh***y coach" in front of this dad's own daughter. That's a very peculiar view of things.

.

Being a coach/manager is not much different than being a supervisor in a work setting. Associates/Employees can often get away with saying things that a supervisor cannot. If a supervisor makes a similar comment, it can quickly land him/her in the HR office for a "discussion". And with the heightened 'sensitivity' in today's world, I don't expect that to change anytime in the near future. Coaches/managers have the same egg shells to walk on. Not saying it's right. Just expressing my opinion...

 

[gdc03120]

Fortunately for me, a.) I'm the only coach of this team, and b.) There's nobody that "oversees" the activities of the individual teams in this league, so there's nobody "over me", as it were. Not like I'm going to go on a slanderous FB tirade against my parents. Again, they pay $41 for part of a uniform as their only real "fee" for this team. If they wish to remove their kid from my team, that's their choice and their investment spent. I can't control what parents are going to say/do, nor would I try to - I'm here for the players. I have no DD of my own, no skin in the game. I do this because I love it. And though there are days/nights that honestly make me question if it's worth continuing for the next season, I have 2 girls get their first hits of the year, and then I remember my hard work helped with that, and I keep going.

 

[CMMom1740]

a.) My calling them "pissy" above is nowhere close to them slandering my team and I, specifically referring to me as an "immature, arrogant piece of s**t" on a social media site and a "sh***y coach" in front of this dad's own daughter. That's a very peculiar view of things.

b.) Considering that I'm the only coach of this team and the only one who organizes anything, it's my job to handle all the responsibility. I am trying to ensure the success and well-being of my team and program through whatever means I can provide. No player had an issue with our guest situation last night - everyone understood 1 player would sit out per inning, including the guest players who know the situation (they do travel ball) and were completely fine with sitting out (and their parents were fine as well - they understand). What seems to be the issue is the parents' interpretation of things, and maybe that IS my error in not making things clear. If parents want to pull their kids from the team after the season is done, that's their choice, and I've made that clear when it's been thrown at me as well.

Next year, I will have (and have already started writing it) a full list of what is expected of PLAYERS and what is expected of PARENTS as members of this team. And it will say (in some form) at the bottom in big, bold letters: Failure by parents/players to abide by the agreed-upon rules can and may result in lessened playing time for the respective player and potential dismissal from the team. Participation is voluntary and playing time/positions are solely at the discretion of the head coach. Or something like this, anyway.

I would advise that you should also include a "Here's what you can expect from me" section in that contract. And one of the items on said list should be "I will communicate clearly with you and in a timely manner, and if any of the below policies need to change based upon current circumstances (e.g., your guest player policy), I will communicate that with you as soon as feasible." Don't be so punitive in your wording. You might chase good families away. They may not be paying much, but they are paying.

 

[gdc03120]

Seems reasonable. I'd like to find some TB organizations that have a list like that readily available that I could modify for my own using. Perhaps that's what I'll do next year instead of the typical "codes of conduct" that never get read. Something like a "What I expect from my players", "What I expect from my parents", and "What you can expect from your coach(es)". I still think there should be some kind of working about penalties for not following the rules I set - what's a decent way to word it?