Paying for DD to ride the bench....Not My Thing

[SMS90]

From personal experience if your DD is not challenging herself against not just better opponents but better teammates she will not develop. My DD had a weird to bad 12u experience. Moved up to 14u got hurt and quit softball for awhile. The next fall wants to play again gets on a 14u team with some good players but not pitchers. Played against A/B teams that fall and basically got crushed. That spring they are entered in to just C tournaments. Let me tell my daughter that summer was like the combination of Babe Ruth, Ted Williams and Yadier Molina. She it the heck out of the ball. Was selected to play in a C level MO/Kan Allstar game was pretty clearly the best hitter there. She is feeling great then high school tryouts started. Before they started she was thinking she would be a shoo in for varsity. She barely made JV and took half the season to start hitting getting used to the pitching. This past fall playing JV so had a great season hitting. But the goal is varsity, so we have moved up in talent for this spring in levels of both coemption and teammates. So varsity pitching is not a shock to her.

Your DD's have to keep being challenged if the goal is to keep advancing. Sure playing is part of that, but so is playing tough coemption and being pushed by your coaches and teammates.

 

[Eric F]

Yea they are rec team that was playing our 1st tournament at the C level.......the coach was a B/A recruiting her to move to his team. We are a rec team that is in the process of stepping up to travel ball.

Oh, boy. I was under the impression that your DD was an experienced TB player. When I was coaching 12U, there is ZERO chance I would agree with a parent's request/demand that their DD would play a majority of the innings in her favorite spot before she had proven herself at that level of competition, and proven herself to be better for the team than what we currently have. Even then, I have a hard time doing a sudden and drastic chop to a current player's game time who has been a hard-working and loyal team player. Most likely, even if I think your DD might develop into something better than what we have now, if you are demanding immediate changes to my team, it's likely I'll wish you luck elsewhere.

Try looking at it this way...
Your DD has been the starting C with a competitive TB team over a year. She has earned her #1 spot behind the plate with hard work and dedication to the team, she loves her teammates, and coaches. Last weekend, your DD spent most of the time on the bench while a brand new player, with much less experience, played almost every inning. How would you feel about a coach who would do that to your DD?

All that said, if your DD fills a spot where I have an immediate need, my tune may be significantly different...but I still will won't promise your DD will get all the playing time. Ideally, I want to develop at least one more player in that position, too.

 

[EdLovrich]

Try looking at it this way...
Your DD has been the starting C with a competitive TB team over a year. She has earned her #1 spot behind the plate with hard work and dedication to the team, she loves her teammates, and coaches. Last weekend, your DD spent most of the time on the bench while a brand new player, with much less experience, played almost every inning. How would you feel about a coach who would do that to your DD?

Let's remember one thing from the OP. The HC approached tamss13 about the change, not the other way around. I hope to heaven that this new team doesn't already have competent player(s) the the DD will be replacing. If a coach is looking for fresh talent at this point, it should be due to lack of home-grown. Again, if you come asking me and mine to join you, expecting to have the conversation about what we will be getting in return is a given. Would any of us change from a job we are satisfied with to go with a new company without talking about what the company can/will do for us?

 

[Eric F]

Let's remember one thing from the OP. The HC approached tamss13 about the change, not the other way around. I hope to heaven that this new team doesn't already have competent player(s) the the DD will be replacing. If a coach is looking for fresh talent at this point, it should be due to lack of home-grown. Again, if you come asking me and mine to join you, expecting to have the conversation about what we will be getting in return is a given. Would any of us change from a job we are satisfied with to go with a new company without talking about what the company can/will do for us?

Fair point about being asked to join the team. It tells me that the coach recognized (at a minimum) a potentially good player that fills a need. However, it's a big jump from asking how a coach envisions that a player will be used to demanding that she get a large majority of playing time.

 

[EdLovrich]

However, it's a big jump from asking how a coach envisions that a player will be used to demanding that she get a large majority of playing time.

Last time negotiated a new job, I demanded 70K a year. I settled for 60, an extra week's vacation and flexibility during baseball/softball season so i could take more games from a bit further out during the week.

 

[Eric F]

Last time negotiated a new job, I demanded 70K a year. I settled for 60, an extra week's vacation and flexibility during baseball/softball season so i could take more games from a bit further out during the week.

How would your negotiation have gone if your only previous experience with the work was at a lower level than was being expected in the new position?

I completely understand the value of job that offers schedule flexibility for softball.

 

[chinamigarden]

This weekend my DD was asked to join a solid B but low A tournament team. I told the guy who asked that "I don't pay for bench time". The guy felt slighted and had the nerve to say "Playing on a great team is a privilege and sometimes you have to wait your turn"

I replied: good when she gets good enough to start on your team come back but like I said before I don't pay for bench time.

I have read allot of post on this forum any many believe in the waiting your time. At 12U no...I don't....If she works hard during practice.....if she is putting extra work in.....and I am paying.....oh she is playing the entire game or I'll find another team

That is just me. Practice is Great and extremely important but game play is important for DDS to understand game scenarios. As games are different than practice.....the pressure is different

Heck this weekend in....the girls were in an elimination bracket with time expired bottom of the ending the girls in the out field. Score 11 to 10 the girls are up bases loaded no outs. The team bunts my DD is catcher she grabs the bunt going up third tagged the girl on the force run then throw out third base 2 quick outs and now girl on 2nd and 1st with 2 outs......and the pitcher got it together with three strikes game over...... This was my DD 1st full game as catcher (she normally plays CF) and she said after the game....""Dad I wanted to be taken out so bad.....I didn't want to mess up....she went on to say I felt like no one was on the field by me and the pitcher and everyone was looking at us.....and we did it we made it though""....after that statement I hugged her

you don't get that in practice and I am not paying for her to ride the bench.....that is just me....

When people say competition makes a player better, they mean the competition within the team for playing time.
If it’s purchased it’s not as valuable as when it is earned.

 

[chinamigarden]

Not one person has replied why riding the bench is good for a dd at 12U????

Not every min of every game....but I expect her to be a starter.....if not she can stay where she is at

She sits now, but not allot she knows she is a key to this team.....she works hard

All the vultures are out now trying to pick off our talent....Why leave this team to go to a so called better team just to ride the beach.....

I don't get it....

Its just me... I Don't Pay to Warm the Bench .... My money can be used for other things....

Not one person has replied to why riding the bench at 12U is good for a DD????

It isn’t good per say. But neither is expecting to start because you pay. Everyone pays.

This teaches a life lesson that will disappoint when she doesn’t have mommy or daddy throwing their weight around for her. Just like daddy ball where the coaches dd starts no matter what. This is the same thing. Wallet ball. You can find a team for your dd. But don’t expect it to be a step up.

 

[uncdrew]

What is childish about telling someone "I don't pay for riding the bench". I don't understand why yall feel disrespected.

I am sorry but this is crazy to me........A coach ask my wallet and my daughter to play for them if I don't say NO the right way I could get my daughter black balled? talking being like a petulant child....

I don't see value in a 12U heavily riding the bench. I've seen teams and coaches come and go......four years from now me being a jerk by saying no will be forgotten IF my DD has talent....

Yes, if you don't answer the right way you could get blackballed.

Yes.

And no, four years from now it won't be forgotten (in general, not necessarily your situation). I have 3 families I will never take on a team again the rest of my life. And I won't play on a team they are on. It won't be forgotten.

[EDIT: After posting this I saw where you said other parents said you handled it fine. Good to hear. I seriously doubt you or DD will have any bad consequences from what transpired.]

You might not like it, but best that you learn it. Just like if you piss off a job offer you might not get other job offers. Just part of life. Learn how to say no graciously -- it's a good skill to possess.

 

[uncdrew]

Who knows. I suppose older pitchers start to figure out that even if they want to, pitching multiple games on both Saturday and Sunday isn't a great idea. I liked it most when there were 2-3 roughly equal pitchers.

When games are timed 70 minute games that rarely exceed 3-4 innings, they want to pitch multiple and it's perfectly healthy.