To me you need to let her grow up... make her stand on her own two feet... I hope your not one of those dads that carry her equipment for her? I know I'm being mean but she has to become mentally tougher if she wants to play this game. Nervousness is normal but you have to be able to control it not cry and have a break down...
My DD is having a nervous breakdown over HS tryouts
- Thread starter SoCalDad
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Let me guess--she has never played behind another player before.
Sounds to me like she has pretty much figured this out. She is not going to pitch ahead of the #1 pitcher. It doesn't sound like she is going to be good enough to become a starter. She very well might spend the entire season on the bench watching the game.
It is great she hates the thought of spending time on the bench. Both my DDs (all conference pitcher and national champion bball player) spent time watching someone else play ahead of them. They absolutely hated it. It drove them to become better players.
It is up to her, with your guidance, to determine how to react to such a situation. Situations don't define who we are...our reaction to situations defines who we are.
Talk to her about how to handle this situation--i.e., she has to be a good teammate. Let her experience the frustration of sitting the bench. She'll be much more focused next year.
If she is the clear number 2 pitcher? Then what does she have to worry about? If she played JV ball and dominated, then there is a pretty good chance the varsity coach knows who she is. Unless the Varsity coach is an idiot, they want to go to battle with the biggest guns they have. What if the ace gets hurt? You have to go with the future ace. All teams need a back up plan. I would think that the coach would want her to move up just to learn from the other varsity girls. She might sit the bench a little more than she wants to. But how many girls out there get a chance to play behind and learn from a girl that is D1 caliber. It could be the best learning experience of her life. It doesn't sound to me like she needs to worry about beating out a senior that is going to be a D1 pitcher. If she does than Woohoo! She needs to beat out the other 2 pitchers.
-2009 Top five finish in State
-2010 Top five finish in Western Regional
-2011 Top 15 finish at National
Starting pitcher for all three championship series. Game pressure is not a problem. In a game she knows exactly what to do. She owns the circle. Her travel ball coaches don't baby her, none of them have and she won't play on a TB team where a coach would even consider babying a player as an option.
Sluggers nailed the problem spot on. She has never been in a situation where reaching the #1 spot was not viable. This was a new emotion for her and being 15 just about to go on 16 she did not know how to handle herself in this situation. I am actually pleased that she let her emotions out instead of keeping them bottled up. Guess what? Her near breakdown released the built up stress and now she is ready to go and do her best. While pitching last night she told me, "I may not be faster than KK but my curve is wicked". She may or may not make varsity but she has the right attitude.
I want to suggest that something else was wrong, too. For instance, something at school. So she feels like crying and maybe doesn't want to discuss it - so she said that it was about tryouts. Just a thought, from another female.
Agree! Plus i wouldnt have her worry. If your coaches are like our coaches it wont matter anyway because they already have the team picked b4 tryout have even started!
SoCal...tell her we wish her the best and to GO GETTEM! Similar experience with DD albeit at a younger age. DD's 12 and I coached her for the last 6 years in a slo-pitch rec league. She never played fastpitch before but really wanted to and to be a pitcher at that. The last year in the rec league, we found a PC for her and she began to practice pitching to get ready for fastpitch. After the season was over, we got her a good hitting coach. She worked hard all off-season and then felt she was ready to go. Her hitting coach was really impressed by her and told her she should try out for a TB team. She was so nervous the night before it was almost humorous, at least to us. We simply told her to go out and do her best. If she made it then it was good; if not, she could always play on the rec league fastpitch team, get mound time, game experience and exposure to the local TB coaches. She ended up trying out for 5 TB teams. Each tryout was more nerve wracking than the previous one for her. The last tryout, there was a girl from the previous fastpitch team from our rec league at the tryouts. She had made the older TB team and came over to watch DD during a break. DD was struggling at the plate. The more she struggled the more nervous she got. The girl asked the coach if she could talk to DD and the coach said yes. The girl went up to DD and told her that last year, when they weren't practicing or playing, they would come down to the fields and watch her games just to see her hit homeruns (she had 12 over the fence at 190'). She then told her to watch the ball, relax and do what she did last year. DD calmed down and proceeded to wail on the ball even hitting 2 over the 200' fence. Needless to say she made the team... Thanks to a former player with a kind heart and even kinder words.
Me: "Hollie, why are you crying?"
Hollie: "I don't know!"
Me: "Did I say something wrong to hurt your feelings?"
Hollie: "No"
Me: "Hollie, did someone else hurt you?"
Hollie: "No"
Me: "Hollie, did the other team say something to you?"
Hollie: "No"
Me: "Well then Hollie, why are you crying?" Hollie cries harder!
Hollie: "I don't know!"
Meanwhile, there are 12 other creatures in the dugout sitting there looking at her with a sense of understanding :-(
No, not really! You started off reasonably and ended up not looking so reasonable
I suggest taking a darvon and watching a Jim Carey or Steve Martin movie. However, it is nice to know we have the PC police around to keep us "collectivized".
- Nov 29, 2009
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Had a similar situation like one with a 12U girl on one of my teams. It was after a game and I'm walking back to a shaded area to wait for our next game. I see one of my girls talking to her mom and the tears are pouring down her face. I kinda had an idea what it was about. She had a pretty bad game. So I asked her what was wrong. Through the tears and the sniffing I got from her that she was upset she played so bad. I asked her if she did it on purpose? Did she drop the balls on purpose? Did strike out on purpose? Did she feel she gave her teammates her best effort? Of course she answered no to all but the last question. Then I looked her in the eye and told her she needed to stop crying about having a bad game. It's only a game and she needs to think about what she was going to try and do to keep it from happening again. I told her that everyone of her teammates has made errors or not come through at one time or another during the season and she needed to quit beating herself up.
The mom came up to me a little while later and thanked me. She said she had no idea what to say to her and that she stopped the waterworks shortly after I left. The next game she was back to herself and played well again.
Sometimes it takes a little nudge to move an athlete out of a self-induced funk.
