Loss of confidence

[RandomDad]

My DD (8 yr old) has lost her confidence due to a trash talking team mate. She is a very good pitcher, but has back slid tremendously over the past 2-3 weeks since this other girl started in on her. The other girl is the daughter of a coach, so I don't know how much I can really do. The coach is aware of what's going on, but nothing is going to change. Is there anything I can do as a parent to help her get her confidence back?

Her mechanics have become very rough and her speed is WAY down. My DD loves pitching and loves the game of softball, but this past week was the first time that she wasn't excited about going to her game.

btw, my DD won't be with this coach again after this season.

Hopefully you all can help.

 

[Momo'sDad]

Is the other girl a pitcher, too?

Have her focus on doing her job. It may not make a ton of sense to an 8yo, but she needs to know that all she can control are the things she can control, and when that ball is in her hand, she controls where it will go.

I recently had a fielder try to show up one of our pitchers in a game where she was struggling when she'd already been wrestling with confidence issues for a couple of weeks. I let Team Mom handle it at the game and after sleeping on it, I emailed the parents to let them know I would speak with the offending player at our next practice. Anything that impacts our team chemistry is seriously frowned upon. I gave pitcher an inning in our next game, and she promptly struck out 3 of the 4 batters she faced.

Every player will go through a slump of one kind or another this season, but the good news is that they all have the ability to bounce back and the really good news is that your season will be over soon.

 

[RandomDad]

Thanks Momo'sDad. Yes, the other girl is also a pitcher. My DD has worked very hard for the past year to become as good as she is today and the other girl just started recently. I guess they have to learn mental toughness at some point. Maybe this will actually be good for her in the long run.

 

[halskinner]

This is an article I wrote that ended up being a chapter in my 2nd book and was also ran as an article in SOFTBALL MAGAZINE.

Hope it helps.

Coach Hal


UNKIND THINGS SAID ABOUT A PITCHER.



I was probably in my mid teens when I finally figured something out, something I think is pretty important to a young pitcher.

It is a long time proven fact that if you are a pitcher that is worth your salt, people ARE going to be talking about you. If it is someone associated with a team you compete against, chances are some of the things they are going to say will not be very kind or flattering at all.

I had trained myself to be very good at blocking out comments like that so they did not affect me during the game. However, I still heard everything. Many times after the game I would wonder WHY someone had said whatever it was they had said about me personally or about my pitching.

I heard what was said about all the other pitchers too. It took me a few years but what finally educated me to the way it really is, is what I DID NOT HEAR about some of the pitchers.

People would talk a lot about the good pitchers, pitchers they either respected or feared for whatever reason, pitchers they did NOT want to go up against in competition.

People would seldom say much at all, if anything at all, about a pitcher they were not concerned about going up against.

I did not figure it out immediately but I finally realized that all of that talk and all of those unkind remarks about me (and my pitching) were a very great compliment to my ability and my intimidation factor as a pitcher.

As long as they WERE talking about me, they WERE worried about going up against me from the batter’s box. If they had ever STOPPED talking like that about me, then I would have started to be worried about my pitching ability.

If you are a young pitcher that is being bothered by unkind comments from the other teams, or cheers that are directed at you, take it as a HUGE compliment. They don't do that to EVERY pitcher, just the good ones that they are very worried about having to face.

I think folks say those unkind words hoping you will hear it or that their comment gets back to you and has an impact on the game you are going throw against their team. They are trying to get into your head. Go ahead and let them but make sure you translate what they say first because anything unkind said about a player can usually be translated to actually mean, “You are good and I don’t like that”.

Take it as a compliment and be polite, be sure to thank them for saying it with a very pleasant smile on your face.

Trust me, If they DO NOT say something unkind about you or your pitching, you might want to work a little harder on your pitching. If you are really good, they WILL be making unkind comments hoping to get you upset and have an effect on you and your pitching.

As long as they ARE talking (or cheering) about you, you are doing SOMETHING very VERY right! Keep up the good work!

sneakysoftballpitching.com

 

[RandomDad]

Great view point Hal. Thanks!