Okay, so here's a different question for the ADs and HCs out there.
What if you have an incompetent coach who drives players away from the team? Over the last four seasons, including the 2020 season that wasn't, our HS team lost five TB players, all of whom said the reason for not playing was because they hated the coach. He has gotten worse with his forgetfulness over the last year to the point he just doesn't bother telling the umpires about substitutions anymore. Normally, the umps and our AC coach catch it before it costs us, but it's happened four times already this season in only five games. He fills out the lineup cards with the wrong numbers, so there's always confusion for the other team coaches the first time through the order.
One of the worst parts, though, is his refusal to use new technology for team communication. Recently, the district went to the Remind App to prevent any inappropriate texting between coaches and players, yet the HC refused to put the app on his phone because he thought he had to pay for "In-app purchases." It has gotten to the point where all communication runs through the AC now.
He's a 68-year-old former gym teacher, so I give him credit for wanting to stay involved. Sadly, he revealed to the team captains that he had cancer during the season last year and just finished treatments in February. Thankfully, he's in remission, but his treatments prevented the team from doing any extra workouts over the winter because he didn't have the energy. When the AC asked if he could run them, the coach's answer was no, he needed to be there.
How would you handle this situation?
First, keep in mind that not all situations are like mine. In some districts, there are limitations on who can coach, how they can be replaced, who is allowed to replace them, etc.
Losing good players is a huge problem, and if I noticed our better players were leaving the program, I'd want to know why. I'd talk to the coach. I might talk to the players if I know them. I might ask one of their friends if I know them better than I know the player. All very casually. Just a "hey, how come Sally isn't playing this year?" That's gathering the information.
Now, I'm assuming five TB players quitting is a big deal. If you live in a town where Varsity, JV, and Freshman teams are all loaded with TB players, then maybe it's not. This isn't a defense of the coach, but I'm sure you can see how maybe it's not a big deal or indicative of a problem, even if those 5 (out of ~45) didn't like the coach. So context matters, and I'll assume losing 5 TB players is a big loss.
Some of what you have mentioned are issues that I wouldn't mind having a parent come to me about if I was otherwise unaware (can't be at every game the team plays, especially away games), though I would prefer the AC do it. If a parent does come to me to talk about the substitutions, etc., I'll listen and just say thanks for letting me know. Then I'd go and talk to the coach/AC to ask about what happened. I hope you understand why I wouldn't have a lengthy discussion with a parent about the coach's possible mental incompetence.
I don't necessarily know that the AC doing the communication is a huge issue. It could be a normal delegation of responsibilities, but in this case, it might be a coach who can't keep up. My question about this one would be "How does this affect the team, if at all?" This one is less of an issue for me, though it's a piece of the puzzle. (EDIT: Is it a requirement that coaches use that app, or just a requirement they use that instead of texting players personally? Is he actually violating a rule here or did he just find a workaround?)
It's so weird to me (as a coach) for a coach to say he needed to be there for something like an off-season workout when someone else could fill in. If the options are AC runs it or it doesn't happen, let the AC do it. That says to me he may not trust/like the AC.
The issue with all this information is... there's nothing positive here. Seems like an easy decision to try to talk to him about maybe flip flopping roles so the AC can run the show, or maybe just asking him to step down because he can't keep up anymore. But this is what I'm talking about when I say parents don't post all the details. Why is this guy the coach? Why was he hired? What's his background in softball? How much has he won? Do all the girls really hate him, or were there a couple disgruntled players over the past few years?