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Love it.. Thanks!!
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Is the lack of "extra effort" TamiAZ is referring to pitching practice or recruiting? Regardless, as a parent I would push my DD - she is either going to work hard towards a college scholarship, move to REC ball, or quit, but I would not spend the time/effort/money for my DD to play high level TB if she was going to half-rear it. I would also continue to push my DD to work hard until she left for college. If she does not put in the work in college she will wash out, and that will be on her, but I will sleep well at night knowing I did everything I could to push her to excel.
My DD does not come home from school and say "let's go pitch", but when I tell her we need to practice, she does it without hesitation and works hard. I also use the fact that her teammates are counting on her to be at her best every weekend as a motivator.
Is the lack of "extra effort" TamiAZ is referring to pitching practice or recruiting? Regardless, as a parent I would push my DD - she is either going to work hard towards a college scholarship, move to REC ball, or quit, but I would not spend the time/effort/money for my DD to play high level TB if she was going to half-rear it. I would also continue to push my DD to work hard until she left for college. If she does not put in the work in college she will wash out, and that will be on her, but I will sleep well at night knowing I did everything I could to push her to excel.
My DD does not come home from school and say "let's go pitch", but when I tell her we need to practice, she does it without hesitation and works hard. I also use the fact that her teammates are counting on her to be at her best every weekend as a motivator.
I didn't start making good decisions until my mid 20s.
My dd says she wants to play college ball and wants to go to a D1 school, however, we don't feel she puts in the extra effort to get there. She's a pitcher. Playing D1 ball is a lot of work and we don't think she gets just how much work it takes. My husband and I go back forth on how much we should push her.. If she really wants it she'll put in the extra work on her own, right?
Thanks for any input!
There has been some excellent advise here already so I am going to take a slightly different tack.
Recruiting - and college with athletics - is all about project and time management. The more organized or thought out everything is, the smoother it goes, and the time you need to spend is better used. I am not saying it has to be a rigid planned schedule which you follow religiously (for some this works, for most it doesn't), but it has to a plan where you can measure what you are doing versus your eventual outcomes and know if you are on-track or doing what needs to be done. All plans should be flexible and adapt to what actually happens while providing a framework to work within.
First, you have to acknowledge what is important - to a HS sophomore her social life is going to have some priority as it should - so that needs to be part of the plan as well. This is part of multiple goals you need to work in. Even if it is as simple as "The sooner I get done the things I need to get done, the sooner I can get back to texting someone"
Ok, now sit down and assess how much time everything is actually taking and what is reasonable. How much time is she spending on school, social, softball and other stuff. Most parents and their DD's are surprised by just how much time they are actually spending on softball. Between practices, games, lessons, other related activities this can add up quickly. I have had parents who have said "My DD doesn't spend enough time on her game" find out that they actually already spend over 30 hours per week on softball especially on tournament weeks or during HS season.
If she wants to be recruited then you have to organize this as well. What SPECIFIC schools is she wanting to work with (top 10, next 10 is about all you can handle and they will change over time)? How is the contact going to happen? What stage are you at with each school? What resources do you have (network? recruiting service? travel recruiting coordinator, etc, etc, etc). Having a plan versus just randomly doing things makes things easier because you can drive specific actions and better assess how things are really going. You will be able to drop wasted time on schools that aren't working out and spend more time on schools that have potential.
If you can put a good framework together and agree to it then you have something you can work within. It is no longer subjective - it isn't Mom nagging me about it or whatever. It is easier to offer support. It is easier to discuss - "How is the recruiting plan going" (project update) is easier than "have you emailed various coaches this week" (nagging). "Have you got the extra pitching you need in this week? Let me know if you need me" (project update) is easier than "you should be working on your pitching. Lets go" (nagging and easy opportunity for teenage rebellion)
Also it will be much easier to see how serious she really is about 'high level college softball'. If she isn't spending the time, then she isn't. No one speaks teenager well so as you stated - you are unsure if she is serious or not. For some maybe it is the next level down of commitment or the right academic program or whatever. There is nothing wrong with that either - but at least you can now adjust your plan to accommodate it.
DD was playing well above her age at 13 and saw no need to extra effort into pitching as she was blowing the ball by batters her own age.I tell my kids they are going to get out of it what they put into it. I will gladly help them with whatever they want to work on, but they have to ask. I am not going to push them to do anything. It's their life. If they choose to do nothing to get better then when they are sitting on the bench they lost any right to complain to me.
My 13 year old seems to have figured it out and is working her tail off to get better. it's fun to watch. My 11 year (who is a better athlete) is lazy. Thinks she can show up and be great. Puts in no time outside of scheduled practice and games. I'd like to change her from HE to IR, but dont even dare bc i know she wont put the time in to make it work. Quite frustrating