HS..School of Hard Knocks

[JUST A Softball mom]

Today's a new day with another game this evening. DD plans on showing up ready to compete, and if she gets the opportunity to do that, her mindset is to hit the heck out of the ball. I think that a good night's sleep has helped her to reevaluate her situation. Because of the pressure she was putting on herself to perform, she was buckling. Having never hit that mental wall before this season has not helped her. Finishing terribly and not being allowed to work through it the way she knows how (by playing) is something she has never experienced. She has allowed a few lousy at bats define her when in fact she is a solid performer.So, at tonight's game she will go in with the perspective to just do her job and if she strikes out.....? - well then it's not like she isn't use to sitting.

She is realizing that HS is not what she thought it would be. Club is right around the corner, and she will be ready.

The one thing that I wish for her is to grow from this experience.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Believe me, there are almost as many problems for a freshman if she started every game as a freshman. Still, you do want your dd on the field so this would be a better "problem" than not playing. Personally, I have never understood sitting freshmen on the bench of varsity.

DD is an 8th grader and will be at a high school w/ loads of travel players next year. I think I'd rather her make varsity and practice with the best girls every day and sit and watch varsity games than practice with the JV and play 15 JV games against mostly terrible pitching. She's already playing 60+ games. Missing those 15 JV games of dubious quality isn't going to hurt her, but practicing and working out with better players on a regular basis might help bring her up.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Last practice coaches exclaim how well she is hitting (she made varsity because she hits well) and wondered what had changed. Coaches went on to say that they could not wait to see her in the next game. This made her feel good and she looked forward to taking that great practice to the game the next evening.

Needless to say, dd sat the entire game.

I was just wondering, is this normal? And if it is, how do you help your dd process this making the best of a bum situation?

Got a few questions -

- Did the coaches say specifically that she will bat in the next game? Or was it a comment that essentially was meant to say that they're looking forward to seeing her hit in a game, whenever that might be? ''Cannot wait to see you in the next game'' might mean ''cannot wait to see you in the next game that you play.''

- In this or another post, you mentioned that your DD is in a slump. Can you define that? How many at-bats? If she's not playing much, then does she have enough at-bats to say definitively she's in a slump?

And finally, you describe this as a ''bum'' situation. Not sure what is bum about it, except that DD was hoping to play more, but isn't. Not saying she shouldn't be disappointed. She's a competitor. But I wonder if it's perspective. If her goal and mindset is to help this team win in any way possible and to compete for playing time and let the cards fall where they may, then there's nothing to be bummed out. But if the goal is first and foremost about playing as much as possible, then you're more likely to feel bummed and then start comparing yourself to others and wonder why another player who struggles might be getting different treatment.

 

[JUST A Softball mom]

- I am not really sure if 3 lousy at bats can be considered a slump....She sure thinks so though.

As far as her "assuming" that she will get to play in the next game.... that is possible, after all I wasn't there.

Playing time really is not as important to her as being allowed to contribute. The fact that she has not performed the way that she normally does has really shaken her confidence. She is really hard on herself.

I guess what bothers me the most, is that she is not given the same opportunity as some of the other girls.

Moving forward she plans to assume nothing and forget about playing time, celebrate with her teammates when they are successful, and work on her own personal game.

It is what it is

 

[YoungBuck]

... sounds like it's a good thing the high school softball season is very short in most states.

 

[guero_gordo]

DD as a freshman is lighting it up on JV and getting plenty of playing time. Her friend, who is a phenomenal multi-sport athlete, is sitting on Varsity. Just the way it works out sometimes.

 

[softball88]

Here's what I don't understand (maybe a high school coach can explain)...why bring up a freshman and sit her? Why not let her play jv for the experience? Sorry hs in our area are not overflowing with talent. So my DD is not watching or practicing against better talent. You want a SR or Jr to play ...great...I respect that but don't sit a 14-15 yr old.

 

[Sparky Guy]

Just stick with it. Don't complain. Keep working hard. Those who keep a good attitude and keep working at it will see results.

Unfortunately that may not be enough. Most mid-aged level players have the wrong mindset that was ingrained into them from the younger years of playing ball. It takes a real shift in the mental approach to the team dynamics starting at 14U, into HS and college to help succeed.

[ Blatant Thread Hijack To Follow ]

What I tell my players when they hit the 14U level is they better approach every practice as though it's a competition. They are competing against their teammates for playing time, at bats, base running opportunities, or any of the other things that are part of the game of softball. I tell them they must outplay their teammates to garner the attention from the coaches to get the bulk of the playing time. It will be that way in HS when there can be 15 or more players on the roster and in college where there can be 18 or more on the roster. They will be competing for playing time. Get used to competing early by pushing themselves as players, because in doing so they will make their teammates better players too. Don't settle for what someone gives you. Do your best to put yourself in the position to take advantage when the opportunity presents itself.

Respect teammates. Support teammates. But always try to be better than them. There is nothing wrong with that approach to being the best player you can be.

 

[SCDad]

Just wondering how HS is going for everyone else?

..dd is a freshman, made it to Varsity and sits. This is not what she signed up for. She has worked her tail off this last fall, fell back from an injury that was not softball related, and came back capable and ready. She is allowed to pinch hit periodically, but has struggled mentally. She is in her first slump ever and has worked with her hitting coach who not only teaches the physical but really mentors her young athletes including my dd.

Last practice coaches exclaim how well she is hitting (she made varsity because she hits well) and wondered what had changed. Coaches went on to say that they could not wait to see her in the next game. This made her feel good and she looked forward to taking that great practice to the game the next evening.

Needless to say, dd sat the entire game.

I was just wondering, is this normal? And if it is, how do you help your dd process this making the best of a bum situation?

YES ... this is normal if playing on a good high school program.

You will thank them when your DD is a Junior, has earned her stripes, possibly gets into a slump, and some parents of a Freshman hotshot is trying to get her spot.

Part of becoming a great player is to draw the short straw (not play) and deal with it. It simply does not happen in travel. But does in high school and college, and is one of the most important lesson to learn.

Better to learn NOW, as a freshman. I have seen plenty of older players QUIT the first time they draw a short straw, having never learned this lesson.

Remember, most everyone draws the short straw. It is how you react to it ... elevate ... that determines if you are great ... or not.

How to deal with it? Tell your Freshman ballplayer that most every Junior and Senior on your high school team went through the exact same. Many more did too and quit. The ones on the field now took it like a great lady player, and is why they are playing ahead of you.

 

[chinamigarden]

Just wondering how HS is going for everyone else?

..dd is a freshman, made it to Varsity and sits. This is not what she signed up for. She has worked her tail off this last fall, fell back from an injury that was not softball related, and came back capable and ready. She is allowed to pinch hit periodically, but has struggled mentally. She is in her first slump ever and has worked with her hitting coach who not only teaches the physical but really mentors her young athletes including my dd.

Last practice coaches exclaim how well she is hitting (she made varsity because she hits well) and wondered what had changed. Coaches went on to say that they could not wait to see her in the next game. This made her feel good and she looked forward to taking that great practice to the game the next evening.

Needless to say, dd sat the entire game.

I was just wondering, is this normal? And if it is, how do you help your dd process this making the best of a bum situation?

This is why so many people who have already put their dd through HS say that making Varsity as a Freshman is not always a good thing. Is this normal, yes. If your dd is in a slump in HS she will sit on the bench.