HS..School of Hard Knocks

[JUST A Softball mom]

Just wondering how HS is going for everyone else?

..dd is a freshman, made it to Varsity and sits. This is not what she signed up for. She has worked her tail off this last fall, fell back from an injury that was not softball related, and came back capable and ready. She is allowed to pinch hit periodically, but has struggled mentally. She is in her first slump ever and has worked with her hitting coach who not only teaches the physical but really mentors her young athletes including my dd.

Last practice coaches exclaim how well she is hitting (she made varsity because she hits well) and wondered what had changed. Coaches went on to say that they could not wait to see her in the next game. This made her feel good and she looked forward to taking that great practice to the game the next evening.

Needless to say, dd sat the entire game.

I was just wondering, is this normal? And if it is, how do you help your dd process this making the best of a bum situation?

 

[YOCOACH]

My DD is in the exact same situation. In our state, Seniors can't play JV so they either make Varsity or are cut (says the coaches;IDK). The coaches refuse to cut Seniors even if they won't play in a game. This year, the V team consists of 8 Seniors, 4 Juniors and 4 Freshman (including DD). They took DD because she is a catcher and because she carries a big stick. The other catcher is a Senior but has shoulder issues and really can't make a good throw down to 2. She is also a Flex player because she can't swing a bat. The coaches all agree that DD is the better player (according to a friend who is one of the coaches) but want to get the Senior catcher her Varsity letter. In HS, it's not all about who is better, it's about entitlement IMO. By the same token, I have also been told that when state tournament time rolls around, DD will be the catcher because it's all about the win then. My question was, why isn't it all about the win now since it matters whether they are going to the states or not depending upon their record. I was told by DD that the coaches feel they can win enough games with the Senior to get there.

So I continually tell DD just to relax, have fun with her teammates and when it's time for her to go in, make the best of the situation. Hit well. Catch well, whatever it takes. Just make sure that it's memorable. So memorable that the coaches and other parents can no longer ignore her.

Edit to Add: I also told DD that it will be the same exact way in college if she wants to play unless she becomes an absolutely huge impact player from the start. Even then, I told her, it's still a 50/50 proposition.

 

[JUST A Softball mom]

Thanks Yo! I will share your post with my DD. I think that sometimes knowing you are not alone helps more than anything.

Best of luck to your dd!

 

[YOCOACH]

Thanks Yo! I will share your post with my DD. I think that sometimes knowing you are not alone helps more than anything.

Best of luck to your dd!

Same to you and yours!

 

[sluggers]

I was just wondering, is this normal?

You are looking at this from the perspective of the parent. Your DD was in a slump, and now she is looking better. So, as a parent, you think, "My DD is ready!"

The coach is thinking, "Hmmm...not this game. I can't afford her to fail again. Maybe next game."

And if it is, how do you help your dd process this making the best of a bum situation?

Without getting too philosophical, this is a life lesson for you to help your DD learn.

Specifically, the life lessons are:

(1) She will not always be immediately rewarded for hard work.
(2) If she wants to rewarded for her hard work, she has to be so much better than everyone else that the coach/boss *HAS* to promote her.
(3) In "the real world", performing poorly has consequences. If she does poorly at her job, even though it may not be something she can control, she won't get promoted and she won't get a raise. You don't get an infinite number of "do overs".

There will be a second chance this year...but, there may not be a third.

 

[JUST A Softball mom]

Sluggers- I think that we all need to be reminded of these life lessons.

- as far as whether or not I was wondering if this is normal, I wasn't seeking assurances for myself as much as I was reiterating what my DD had asked earlier this evening. To allow a player to believe that they will be playing and then sit them seems a little backwards, if not short sited IMO. Are they not looking at future development.

Better put:

You have a player that is struggling, do you just cut them and therefore cut your losses? Or do you allow them to work it out? One of the things that I love about this game is watching these amazing kids persevere through their struggles, leaving the field as champions whether or not they won the game.

My post was not for myself. It was for my daughter. Having had a great experience for the most part thus far, I am a little at loss. HS has not been what she thought it would be.

Note: Others have struggled this season so far yet the coaches have kept them in long enough to get through it. DD has not been given the same opportunity. And maybe that it's because she is the only freshman and it's just not her turn.
I just want to turn this around for her and use this as an opportunity.

 

[softball88]

My DD is in the same boat....we only played a few games but has sat the bench as a freshman. I don't understand is why not move her to jv.? Let her get ab and pitch.

DD team has scored 1 r but she sits. I rather see her on jv playing.

 

[James Smith]

Not to high jack the OP but I was wondering about that. If there is a big difference between V and JV I think I would rather have DD practice and play with V even if she doesn’t play in games very much.

The OP sounds like they started slow and are ready for another chance, they are wondering when she will get it. Good luck when she gets more playing time.

 

[Slappers]

My DD is in the same boat except as a sophomore. She started out hitting for the first basemen and then got benched for two games for reasons unknown. The player she was hitting for is serviceable, lacks HR power but it isn't as though she can't hit. Last night she was put in for the 1B and did a good job. 1B was 0-3 and DD went 1-1 with a double (RBI) and walk (run scored) and made two nice picks at first. The other player could do the same thing. The difference between the two is DD has HR power, big time. She crushes the ball. She has average speed so that hurts her as in her first AB she hit the ball so hard off of the CF fence that the ball hit the fence before she made it to first. Her double last night dang near took out the first baseman as she wasn't paying attention and almost took it off the face.

The point is that she isn't leaps and bounds better than the person she is competing with....although she has never played 1B in her life so not sure why coach has her there but it isn't my decision.

Being told your going to play and then not playing is not a huge deal. We don't know what the coach was thinking during the game. He may well have had the best intentions of letting her play but something came up.

 

[softball88]

Again we played a handful of games but she hasn't played. Last scrimmage she was 2-3 HR and single. DD is a better hitter than 4-5 of the starters. I hate saying that...

I have no problem with seniors or juniors starting...but play my DD jv. Give her AB. Don't sit her and have her watch girls strikeout or hit weak ground balls. Let her tear up jv pitching.