ALL GREAT POINTS, I added these last year to my (Middle School) Parent-Coaches Meeting:Good that you had a parent meeting.
JMHO!
- If you were going to start her then start her. You don't even know if her dad told her he was making the phone call. However, after your game tonight, I'd let her know that the chain of command was broken by her father and that that is not acceptable.
- You should never talk about any other player with that dad. Once he began those talking points, you should have cut him off and let him know that you won't do that. Believe me, I've done that a million times. Focus on his kid. When he made the excuse that she is not focused, then I would have pointed out that if she can't focus when given a chance to be in the game then how can she be trused to focus any other time unless the dad wants to conceed that she is all about herself and could care less about the team.
- You have to find a good time to talk to this young lady about your expectations if she remains on the team. IMO, I'd let her know that if playing travel basketball is important to her, then she should go do that.
- You need to address the team and make it clear that the best play. Now, "the best" is your opinion at any given time and can change. However, there are good ways and bad ways to make you change your mind. Give examples of both good and bad.
- I'd make sure everyone knows that team comes first over any player. There are no stars. It takes every player on your roster to enable the team to win and so, if they don't want to be a part of that then they need to search themselves about what they want out of the sport.
1. Don't talk to me immediately after a game
2. I will talk to you (parent) about playing time if you really feel it necessary, but ONLY if your daughter is there with us as we talk. AND if she has already talked to me to set up the meeting.
These two items cut down the grief considerably.