High school coach playing favorites

[bringtheheatmom]

My daughter is a pitcher. I know this will sound like I'm whinning because my daughter hasnt been selected(yet) but come to find out there is a freshmen who is the neighbor of the head coach, was told by other parents that the mom had the coach come to her pitching lessons before the start of the freshmen year? Turns out the coach knows this family outside of school. There is an opportunity for the freshmen pitchers to get the #1 spot on varsity because their pitcher graduated.

Tryouts have been going on for 2 weeks. 1rst week he approached the catcher that was catching for my daughter and said they looked the best(he should have never commented that). We didnt tell our daughter that was said the catcher told her dad who then told us. After that tryout they never let them throw together again.

They finally picked teams and my daughter of course was not selected to practice with the head coach. The next day the coach commented that these were not the varsity/JV teams. He just broke them up... There was a scrimmage and my daughter pitched the scrimmage at the jv level, he then said that the pitchers and catchers that played jv will play a varsity scrimmage and vice versa. The other freshman is this girls friend.

We wouldnt have a problem if they both were better than my daughter. My husband and myself have coached and we have come across kids that were better than her. Just pushed her to work harder and get better. When she cant compete with these selections what do you tell her? I have told her to be positive and work hard. The cream always rises to the top. If they want to win they will swing her up to varsity and she will get her chance.

What does this mean? What kind of games is he playing? Does my daughter have a chance? People cant believe she wasnt selected since, she is the fastest and the most accurate. Is this high school politics? How does he get away with this when everyone in the school knows he knows the other girl and her family?

 

[SnocatzDad]

Favoritism unless it's severe (like willing to lose your coaching job by losing with the wrong kids severe) won't last if your daughter goes to the JV squad and throws shut outs while the Varsity pitcher gets pounded. Coaches like certain kids better than others, but 99% of coaches like winning better than they like surrounding themselves with their favorite kids.

If they aren't that far apart in ability for there to be a great gap in performance then her job is to get better so that the difference IS glaring. Have faith and be patient and realistic.

 

[JAD]

Most HS coaches want to win games, therefore they are going to put the team on the field that gives them the best chance to win. Just tell your DD to keep working hard and if she proves herself she will get her shot. As a side note - the pitcher who throws the fastest or is the most accurate may not be the best choice. Unless your daughter is significantly (5+ MPH) faster than the other pitchers, she may be behind a pitcher who has more movement on her pitches. I would trade 3-5MPH for a pitch with more movement (curve, screw, drop, rise) because good batters will be able to adjust to a fastball.

As a secondary side note, on our TB team we have cut really good players because of pyscho softball parents. It is sad when we see a girl who is a good player, and a good kid, but she is on her 4th TB team in 2 years because her parents view her abilities through 'rose colored' glasses, don't think the team she is on is good enough for their DD, or think the coaches play 'daddy ball'.

Third side note: The most important things for a pitcher are practice and mound time. If your daughter is the #1 pitcher on the JV team, she would probably get a lot more mound time than she would either splitting time or being the #2 varsity pitcher. If she is a freshman, I would look at it as an opportunity for her to improve her pitching by getting more reps!

 

[JBG]

My daughter is a pitcher. I know this will sound like I'm whinning because my daughter hasnt been selected(yet) but come to find out there is a freshmen who is the neighbor of the head coach, was told by other parents that the mom had the coach come to her pitching lessons before the start of the freshmen year? Turns out the coach knows this family outside of school. There is an opportunity for the freshmen pitchers to get the #1 spot on varsity because their pitcher graduated.

Tryouts have been going on for 2 weeks. 1rst week he approached the catcher that was catching for my daughter and said they looked the best(he should have never commented that). We didnt tell our daughter that was said the catcher told her dad who then told us. After that tryout they never let them throw together again.

They finally picked teams and my daughter of course was not selected to practice with the head coach. The next day the coach commented that these were not the varsity/JV teams. He just broke them up... There was a scrimmage and my daughter pitched the scrimmage at the jv level, he then said that the pitchers and catchers that played jv will play a varsity scrimmage and vice versa. The other freshman is this girls friend.

We wouldnt have a problem if they both were better than my daughter. My husband and myself have coached and we have come across kids that were better than her. Just pushed her to work harder and get better. When she cant compete with these selections what do you tell her? I have told her to be positive and work hard. The cream always rises to the top. If they want to win they will swing her up to varsity and she will get her chance.

What does this mean? What kind of games is he playing? Does my daughter have a chance? People cant believe she wasnt selected since, she is the fastest and the most accurate. Is this high school politics? How does he get away with this when everyone in the school knows he knows the other girl and her family?

Is your daughter a freshman or older? HS politics suck! Often times its not who is the best players on the field but friends and family that get first crack. My DD is worried somewhat about the same thing. Only difference is the girls in questions are coaches daughters who look to get more playing time initially over girls who are better.

My advice...keep your mouth shut and see how it works out. If the girls in question fail, they have to (should) play the better players. Especially if they are walking people and giving up hits. You should know pretty early in the season if that is the case.

 

[bringtheheatmom]

Thanks for both posts. Your comments and encouragements were well stated. Yes I didnt want to seem like I was one of those parents with rose colored glasses, just looking for an unbias oppinion. We did consider it was maybe a blessing in disguise because she will pitch more at this level and can only get better when she moves to varsity.

Thanks again!

 

[GOINGDEEP]

HS coaches know little to nothing about incoming freshman. ( maybe he's heard this or that but no "relationship" to HS ball ) If he knows the other girl and has been giving lessons to her...........he will most likely start her. Just because.......

It will be up to your DD to out perform the others. If there is a large enough margin of talent between them it won't go unnoticed by the coaches, other players, and other parents. The pressure from all of those to win will work the situation out on it's own.

Sit, be patient, it will come.

 

[obbay]

Our HS is very political. I know I've whined about it here before. the coach likes to win, but he also wants to surround himself with the personalities he likes. girls who can look like they know what they're doing. They say as long as you can hit, you'll always play- but in HS it's more like, as long as your parents can pump money into the program (one way or another) you will always play.

Parents also come into the equation if they are friends with or related to the coach.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Parents also come into the equation if they are friends with or related to the coach.

Same can be said about travel ball.

 

[pitchmom]

A freshman here made varsity last year because her 2 older sisters are "the stars" of the varsity. She isn't nearly ready to play at the varsity level, but because her parents would have to choose which game to watch(V & JV play at the same time-one away one home).....they put her on varsity.....taking the spot of a couple juniors that could have went up. The father is an assistant assistant coach. (I say that twicw because he's not officially on the coaching staff)

That just doesnt seem fair to me.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

A freshman here made varsity last year because her 2 older sisters are "the stars" of the varsity.

That just doesnt seem fair to me.

That's called a "legacy" pick. Happens often in all HS sports.

Unfortunately there is nothing in the NFHS rule book about penalties for unfairness. I know every freshman dreams of playing varsity that first year. But the season just started, work hard and prove your way on.

If you can play, your'e gonna play...............trust me.