coaches tempers

[Thing1Thing2]

My daughter plays little league softball for our community and she is in 3rd grade 9yrs old a volunteer dad(coach) gets upset and yells at the girls ( not just his kids but mine also) this upsets me but not my husband. He says if she's not doing what she's supposed to then it's OK however I feel that this is a time to learn the fundamentals and the love of the game. Is this normal and I'm overreacting or should I say something to the head coach ( another volunteer dad)???

Phew... Until I saw you lived in Texas... Thought you were talking about my husband!! Lol.

Softball to me is a very competitive, fast, loud, emotional sport. My husband is very loud and an equal opportunity "yeller" at all the girls. He "yells" at girls or even to a specific girl to "keep your butt down", "hustle on and off the field", "Run", "Catch the ball", he might appear to the bleachers that he's upset (taking hat off & on 50 times, flushed red & lost voice) but that's just him. BUT he will also be the first to "yell" at girls when they get that RBI or catch that pop up or make a good play!!

I just think softball is intense at any level, and I don't believe for one minute that every coach, starting at T-ball doesn't want to win! If you don't want to win and are not razzed up when your 12th batter hits the winning hit (and is not loud & yelling) then maybe they need to play golf or do ballet.

 

[RJY]

You know why your husband doesn't question it? Because he's a guy. He does have a slightly different perspective than you as he's played in a competitive environment where expectations are set. That notwithstanding, everything you've said so far about these coaches is not good.

I coached football at 8 years at various levels before jumping into softball. I coach football at the high school level now as well as my DD's travel team. One thing that I learned is that the female athlete is a completely different animal than the male. I truly had to learn how to coach differently but here's the great thing about this....It helped me a better coach of male athletes. I'm going to say one word.... Compassion

I had to talk to my DD's high school coach this year because he seems to think that being a smart rear was going to get him somewhere with them. Meanwhile, he had the respect of NONE of them. To make a long story short I told him look...."If what your about to say is something that you wouldn't say to your wife or at least you wouldn't say with a smart rear demeanor, DON'T say it to them because they hang on your every word. If you want them to play for your, you're going to have to gain their respect." I roughed him up pretty hard because my DD was ready to walk and she's the catcher. Thank goodness he listened to me for the most part and did change his ways a little but I was there holding his hand so to speak along the way. They went 16-1 for 1st place.

My husband and I do try to teach her but I've never played or had an interest in this sport my hubby played bb that's why I joins this site to learn. I'm OK with the coach raising his voice to get there attention or tell them how to stand correctly when they bat and so on but this coach yells at them to "get there heads outs there butts" or " screw your head on straight" or " don't flench I'm not gonna hit you with the ball" those are the things I question but not my hubby

 

[CoogansBluff]

You know why your husband doesn't question it? Because he's a guy. He does have a slightly different perspective than you as he's played in a competitive environment where expectations are set.

I think I would've worded this a little differently. Lots of guys who have played in competitive environments question harsh treatment by youth coaches. I assume that you mean her husband doesn't question it because perhaps he endured that sort of environment himself in sports and never second-guessed it.

My wife wasn't involved much in sports growing up and is not a sports fan. I really value her opinion when she watches the world of travel ball because she provides a reality check. There are lots of things that many of accept as 'part of the game' in travel ball, like 12-year-old kids playing 4-5 games in a row in the losers bracket, that an 'outsider' can see objectively as ridiculous if not abusive.

 

[lilcosmomom]

Thanks y'all realty helped to show me so many sides of the game ( and I'm still learning the lingo). I'm not much into sports but if my dd loves it then I learn to. She only has 2 more games but she is getting upset about it and dreads practice, next year I will be a more active volunteer now that we had our 1rst year. My family has learned a lot from this and I learned a lot from y'all .

This coach was a all-star bb in highschool now its his kids turn. I understand how he feels wanting his kids to be the best I would just approach it differently and gently.

Oh and I'm the crazy mom in the stands that cheers for both teams and all the girls. I think its fun to see the girls try and succeed when its their turn win or lose, mine or yours it doesn't matter to me. I think sports can be a good growing tool and self realization. I don't know if this is a bad thing or not?

Thanks again for all y'alls insite its been a big help

 

[sluggers]

I'm still learning the lingo ... Oh and I'm the crazy mom in the stands that cheers for both teams and all the girls.

Quick lesson on softball etymology:

"Crazy mom" and "crazy dad" have special meanings in softball, and are reserved for use when referring to a particular type of parent. A crazy mom is one who screams at the coach/child/umpire because her little dumpling made an out. So, you are *NOT* a crazy mom.

The ex-hs basketball star coach is probably a "crazy dad".

 

[lilcosmomom]

Oh OK I'm glad to know I'm not the "crazy mom" I'll have to tell my husband that. Sorry is there a web site or some where I can look up the etymology?