Issue with HC

[BuckeyeGuy]

Based on the OP's posts, it seems we're dealing with a TB org. IMO, when there are competitive tryouts and players are paying more than just registration fees for the privilege to play for an org/team, there's a big difference in the roles and goals of the head of a TB org v. a league commish. A TB org head's responsibilities absolutely include making sure that every team's coaching staff is in sync working collaboratively toward both team and organization goals.

I don't see the difference as being that big, TBH. The intensity level is certainly higher, but the goals and responsibilities are the same. The conversation between team and HC needs to happen before the org head takes unilateral action. Nothing in any of the OP's posts indicates that this discussion will result in a positive outcome, granted, but it can't be known for certain until it is attempted. IMO, if the AC can't talk to the HC then they're both at fault for the dysfunction - how am I to know that the AC isn't the one stirring the pot?

As the org head I would gladly take the role of mediator for the discussion, but to have a coach threaten to take his ball and go home without even attempting to remedy the situation is ridiculous.

 

[durtyd26]

Just to be clear, it wasn't my idea to take over the team. The parents have asked me. They spoke to the head of the org first and he brought the idea up to me. It's not that I am afraid of talking to him, I'm just not sure what the right thing to do is. Not sure that I have the right to ask him to step down.
I appreciate all of the input, it seems that there is no right answer. I will probably end up moving on.


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[durtyd26]

Buckeye, I am not going to threaten anything. If it weren't for the other parents, and players approaching me, I would have just looked for another team and been done. Would have told my daughter there are no other options. This is not a take my ball and go home scenario at all. I would help this organization anyway I could. I have already committed to helping with tryouts whether we stay or not.
The parents want to talk to the HC and that may happen. Again, I'm not sure it's fair or right. Not sure what to do.


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[djcarter1966]

Just seems weird as the AC that you don't want to sit down and talk to the HC, if the guy is not approachable and doesn't ever listen then either step down as AC and have your DD keep playing or if she doesn't like his style either you can both leave. For all you know deep down inside this guy could be all stressed out and stretched thin but is hanging on to the team because his DD loves the team too and he thinks this is the only way he can hold everything together and is looking for someone to step up and let him just be a parent for a season...point is you will never know if you don't talk....anyway this time of year if super stressful and given it's tryout season anyway you can just leave without much drama and I completely understand sometimes avoiding drama is a big plus for everyone involved.

 

[inde53546]

It sounds like you are dedicated to the program as a whole and what it offers to all of the families and the community . If thats the case then you should try to do whats best for the program and look at it from that perspective only. I know its not easy believe me i do. Is there a greater good scenario here? Im interested to see how this turns out? Maybe the coach is looking for an out himself.

 

[FiveFrameSwing]

It sounds like you are dedicated to the program as a whole and what it offers to all of the families and the community . If thats the case then you should try to do whats best for the program and look at it from that perspective only. I know its not easy believe me i do. Is there a greater good scenario here? Im interested to see how this turns out? Maybe the coach is looking for an out himself.

The DD doesn't wish to play A-level and prefers to play on a rec-level team with her friends. Leaving the team isn't the ideal perceived solution.

 

[BuckeyeGuy]

Just to be clear, it wasn't my idea to take over the team. The parents have asked me. They spoke to the head of the org first and he brought the idea up to me. It's not that I am afraid of talking to him, I'm just not sure what the right thing to do is. Not sure that I have the right to ask him to step down.
I appreciate all of the input, it seems that there is no right answer. I will probably end up moving on.

No right answer? Talk to the HC! Don't abdicate responsibility, take ownership of your role as AC. Ask the org head to host the discussion. Make it a team meeting. Or have a private, one-on-one chat with the HC. Do something!

Buckeye, I am not going to threaten anything. If it weren't for the other parents, and players approaching me, I would have just looked for another team and been done. Would have told my daughter there are no other options. This is not a take my ball and go home scenario at all. I would help this organization anyway I could. I have already committed to helping with tryouts whether we stay or not. The parents want to talk to the HC and that may happen. Again, I'm not sure it's fair or right. Not sure what to do.

Your statements are at odds with each other. If you want to help the organization any way you can, why in the world would you leave? Moving on with no attempt to even have the conversation doesn't say "I want to help," it says "I quit."

Look, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the issue as seen from the org head's POV isn't as clear cut as it might seem to you. If you are sending mixed messages here it's possible you're doing the same there.

 

[durtyd26]

I don't think I am giving conflicting statements at all and I think the whole point of this is me knowing that it's not clear cut. I think I have said several times that I'm not sure what's right. I have told the head of the org that I need to speak with him and part of that is maybe we need to talk to him together. I have asked the HC about next year and told him that he seemed kind of overwhelmed at times this year because of other things he is involved with. He gets defensive right away. I didn't flat out say, let me have the team, you're right.
This seems to be getting kind of personal to you. I was simply asking if anyone had experienced this and looking for advice on what's right. Your opinion is talk to the HC and I respect that.


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[inde53546]

The DD doesn't wish to play A-level and prefers to play on a rec-level team with her friends. Leaving the team isn't the ideal perceived solution.

I wasn't suggesting he and his daughter leave, in fact just the opposite. He's dedicated to the program/organization and should try to do what's best for the organization as a whole.

 

[BuckeyeGuy]

I don't think I am giving conflicting statements at all...

OK, if you don't see the conflict, the diametrically opposing sentiments in "I would help any way I could," and "I will probably end up moving on," then I've got nothing for you. Apologies. Good luck.