Problems with a Former coach

[B/Hawks #99]

Hey guys just wanted some feed back and maybe some of you are dealing with this now as the season is upon us. This year I’m coaching as a first year head coach for a 14u team. The previous coach left due to her kids playing travel. Now some of the players she had her team that made my team this year are a lot happier to be on this team compared to the one from last season according to some parents. Now I added some new players on to the squad as we now have 13 girls. Now to the problems. The former coaches daughter made the cut to be on my team this year and she seems happy. The problem I’m having is with her mom as she is trying to coach from the sidelines, she was upset when I told her she can’t help as an asst coach because I was warned by the certain parents and the director that if she was involved in anyway with the team they will take there daughter and go elsewhere, and she was visibly upset and annoyed when I told her she was not chosen to do the scheduling or the finances for the team. I respected the parents wishes and promised them that she was not involved at all with this years team as we don’t really see eye to eye. She must’ve thought that bringing me as a head coach she can still have her ways with the team and I was going to be her puppet. Unfortunately didn’t work that way she thought it would because I have been wanting to coach for awhile and now that I have the opportunity I won’t back down from it. So for some of you out there how would you deal with someone like this. I mean she is a real piece of work and she is pissing me and the staff off but what kills me the most that instead of talking to me directly about certain things or anything she goes to my coaches and asks them. My coaches have told her hey the coach is running the show we’re just helping but if you have an issue talk to the coach but keeps running around talking to them instead of me. Thats really starting to piss me off. Again, I’m trying to figure way to handle this via email while email the other parents too but making a point mostly to her to stop what she doing and just be a parent and enjoy watching your daughter play and leave the team alone as you are longer coaching and just cheer on the team while we play. Thanks everyone let me know how you would handle this.


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[Wildfire]

Let the player and parent go. Give them a refund. 12 roster is a good number. Coaching a bunch of teenage girls is hard enough. If you add a nagging parent it's worse.

 

[YOCOACH]

#1) If you haven't already, make a parent player contract full of rules that you want them to follow such as no coaching from the sidelines. There's multiple threads on here that will offer suggestions on other rules you will probably need to use.
#2) Since the season is just beginning, have your parent player meeting now and go over the rules and penalties enforced. For this one I give one warning. The second time they are asked to leave the team with no refund.
#3) Have everyone sign a form stating that they have read, understand and will abide by the rules or they will be asked to leave the team with no refund.
#4) Say good bye to them when she breaks the rules.

 

[puds]

With a person like the one you describe it will be almost impossible for them to change their behavior. It might happen foe a while but sooner or later it will start up all over again. The percent chance that you will have to address this issue multiple times over the next year is very high. I would move on from the player now before you get to far into the season.

 

[quincy]

Pretty harsh replies which I unfortunately agree with.

Tell them to settle down or not come to games. This is not an Email thing, you need to have a face to face conversation with them.

Really really would hate to kick kid but it sounds like you have the support if comes to that.

 

[Hawk_]

We have a parent Code of Conduct...... if they aren't following it....bye

 

[radness]

Super difficult when the player is a person you would prefer keeping, but parent makes keeping the player a problem.

Perhaps that explanation to the parent is a final straw statement.

'We would like to keep your daughter on the team, but cannot continue having this sidelines coaching issue'

The parent either
A. Had already crossed that line of communicated standard...and now time to cut them.
Or
B. Set the line and communicate standard, and be prepaired to
apply A.

 

[quincy]

We have a parent Code of Conduct...... if they aren't following it....bye

Does this apply to grandparents? Most trouble I have had.

 

[GunnerShotgun]

It's easy to say kick them off the team but I would need to know more information.

If they are violating a code of conduct or team contract then I would start the process of removing them. If the player is a P/C/SS then I would find a replacement first and then remove the troubled player. If you are just going with one less player than go ahead and remove.

If you don't have a code of conduct as others have mentioned then get one put together. I would consider that a separate issue from the troubled parent. Address the troubled parent directly and in person. Tell them zero tolerance going forward from the date of conversation.

Just my advice...

 

[John 800]

Does this apply to grandparents? Most trouble I have had.

While I was coaching my daughters team I banished my Dad from sitting behind the plate for complaining about players loud enough they could hear him. I told him either shut up or sit in the outfield