Be who you are. Be comfortable with who you are. Don't worry about 'growing out' of yourself, because that implies that something is wrong with you. It takes all types to make the world go round and to make a team jell. I know this all sounds corny, but if you try to change your personality...
Every pitcher who is not the #1 wants to pitch more. Every competitive player works hard to be where they are at. My question would be, how does your DD feel? Does she love the team, coach and players?
If she continues to practice on her own and still loves the game, then there is time to...