5 Simple Rules for Surviving High School Softball

So, the good news is your daughter made the high school fastpitch softball team. Congratulations! That’s a relief, especially in those increasingly rare instances where high school softball programs are still actually cutting players. Now the “bad” news: if you’ve never been through the experience you could be in for a rude awakening. Because unless […]

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Solid, as always. Thanks for sharing.

Ken Krause said:

So, the good news is your daughter made the high school fastpitch softball team. Congratulations! That’s a relief, especially in those increasingly rare instances where high school softball programs are still actually cutting players. Now the “bad” news: if you’ve never been through the experience you could be in for a rude awakening. Because unless […]

More...

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Nailed it.

Thanks Ken, this is a great post and good reminder about high school ball. My DD is the starting catcher on a team coached by the pitcher's dad who happens to be a senior. The coach has been biased and demeaning in the past but this year he is truly out of control. He's coached his daughter since she was probably 6 and this is her last season. The season is not playing out as he expected / hoped and he is blaming everyone with my DD, the catcher, in the center of it. Every walk his daughter has, the catcher's fault, every homerun hit against her, the catcher's fault. He literally comes on the field and demeans her in front of all to see. His DD then carries that through and parrots it in the dugout. The fact is, his DD quit travel ball and hasn't been practicing. She doesn't hit her spots and 30-40% of her pitches hit the dirt before the plate. Hard to frame a ball that's in the dirt before the plate - lol.

While I agree with you that the AD doesn't care, I regret not bringing up the coach to the AD last year. Another parent did and he shrugged it off because no one else had come to him. This year he'll hear about it. But it's not about my DD at all, it's about the toxicity of the environment he's created. He pits his DD and her friends against the rest of the team. He literally told the team after an unexpected loss that they should apologize to his DD because now she might not make all conference "1st team". So agreed, don't bring up playing time or really anything having to do specifically with your DD to the AD - probably falls on deaf ears. But a toxic environment is worth bringing up in my opinion. Someone has to stand up for these girls.

A little bit of a rant about high school ball I know - again, I appreciate your post. If nothing else, it helps to know her situation is not necessarily unusual.

Can't say I knew many who were happy with the HS softball experience. This included highly competitive programs where their kid was a starter. Can't imagine who would tolerate riding the bench on a crappy team.

been in the softball world for awhile now and the number of 'happy' families is a much smaller number than you'd think. Seen every aspect you can think of. From the clueless coach, to the daddy ball coach, to the outright liar coach, to the different rules apply to different players coach, to the where's my paycheck coach, to the insane parents of "she's a varsity starter ", to the great parents of legit future D1 stars, to the player's on any squad because of boosters, seeing the high level D1 high school rosters, playing the "which hand does my glove go on high school team. To the cancel todays game cause players boycotting cause coach yelled at them, To the coach that rides pitcher X right into the ground---congrats coach you won district title, pitcher needs elbow surgery now else she'll never play in college and fulfill scholarship offer.

Witnessed stats being changed to favor the coach's favorites. Witnessed players outright lying to coaches about variety of topics.

perfect current example.... I know of a pitcher who is committed to a major P5 program, yet received no mention in a recent publication for best players around. Care to guess why???? I don't know true answer either, but a player is not signed as a legit D1 pitcher without serious skill. How does she escape notice? Or is she purposely overlooked by HS coach?? The world may never know.

Or the player that refused to tolerate the HC toxic playing environment, skipped 11 & 12 grade seasons and is currently killing it at a high academic college.

By far the one that is most irritating isn't even related to coach or the player directly. It's the player that is good, solid player on a bad team in a really weak conference. Player has amazing stats, stacking awards, just killing it. Media and everything singing her praises.. All conference awards, etc, etc,.. And for the uneducated, they know no different.... but put that player on a solid HS program in a real conference, against legit competition... and she's barely average....Usually this is manifest when said player is watched playing travel ball, and is struggling mightily against other legit players.

Yes, a fair number of players have good experiences, good coaches, and just move on with life.... BUT the volume of players for which HS softball is a living hell, is not a small number.

Justafan said:

Thanks Ken, this is a great post and good reminder about high school ball. My DD is the starting catcher on a team coached by the pitcher's dad who happens to be a senior. The coach has been biased and demeaning in the past but this year he is truly out of control. He's coached his daughter since she was probably 6 and this is her last season. The season is not playing out as he expected / hoped and he is blaming everyone with my DD, the catcher, in the center of it. Every walk his daughter has, the catcher's fault, every homerun hit against her, the catcher's fault. He literally comes on the field and demeans her in front of all to see. His DD then carries that through and parrots it in the dugout. The fact is, his DD quit travel ball and hasn't been practicing. She doesn't hit her spots and 30-40% of her pitches hit the dirt before the plate. Hard to frame a ball that's in the dirt before the plate - lol.

While I agree with you that the AD doesn't care, I regret not bringing up the coach to the AD last year. Another parent did and he shrugged it off because no one else had come to him. This year he'll hear about it. But it's not about my DD at all, it's about the toxicity of the environment he's created. He pits his DD and her friends against the rest of the team. He literally told the team after an unexpected loss that they should apologize to his DD because now she might not make all conference "1st team". So agreed, don't bring up playing time or really anything having to do specifically with your DD to the AD - probably falls on deaf ears. But a toxic environment is worth bringing up in my opinion. Someone has to stand up for these girls.

A little bit of a rant about high school ball I know - again, I appreciate your post. If nothing else, it helps to know her situation is not necessarily unusual.

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Sorry to hear your daughter is having one of "those" experiences. Agree it's difficult to frame a ball in the dirt. Or sailing up into the backstop. But the real shame is a coach feeling the need to blast his/her players publicly like that. It usually happens because the coach is incompetent and the only thing he/she knows how to do is yell and scream in the hopes the players will magically get better.

By the way, I don't think it's wrong to bring these things up to the AD. I'm just saying not to get your hopes up that it will have any effect. I've seen too many situations where the AD and a coach are great pals, or at least see themselves as work colleagues, so unless something egregious happens (like a law is violated) the AD is unlikely to take any action because there's no consequence to them or the school for not taking action.

I have written several responses and deleted them each time. Those responses would not serve any positive purpose. Instead, I'll stay consistent with the advice I have often given on this and other sites. If your DD's HS experience is so awful, remove your child from it. It can be that simple.

Justafan said:

Thanks Ken, this is a great post and good reminder about high school ball. My DD is the starting catcher on a team coached by the pitcher's dad who happens to be a senior. The coach has been biased and demeaning in the past but this year he is truly out of control. He's coached his daughter since she was probably 6 and this is her last season. The season is not playing out as he expected / hoped and he is blaming everyone with my DD, the catcher, in the center of it. Every walk his daughter has, the catcher's fault, every homerun hit against her, the catcher's fault. He literally comes on the field and demeans her in front of all to see. His DD then carries that through and parrots it in the dugout. The fact is, his DD quit travel ball and hasn't been practicing. She doesn't hit her spots and 30-40% of her pitches hit the dirt before the plate. Hard to frame a ball that's in the dirt before the plate - lol.

While I agree with you that the AD doesn't care, I regret not bringing up the coach to the AD last year. Another parent did and he shrugged it off because no one else had come to him. This year he'll hear about it. But it's not about my DD at all, it's about the toxicity of the environment he's created. He pits his DD and her friends against the rest of the team. He literally told the team after an unexpected loss that they should apologize to his DD because now she might not make all conference "1st team". So agreed, don't bring up playing time or really anything having to do specifically with your DD to the AD - probably falls on deaf ears. But a toxic environment is worth bringing up in my opinion. Someone has to stand up for these girls.

A little bit of a rant about high school ball I know - again, I appreciate your post. If nothing else, it helps to know her situation is not necessarily unusual.

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Considering quitting?

I know "sticking it out" is the usual right answer. I however, am a fan of quitting. Life is too short. Childhood is too short. F that noise, as the kids (used to) say.

It sounds horrible. I'm sorry your DD is dealing with that.

uncdrew said:

Considering quitting?

I know "sticking it out" is the usual right answer. I however, am a fan of quitting. Life is too short. Childhood is too short. F that noise, as the kids (used to) say.

It sounds horrible. I'm sorry your DD is dealing with that.

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Often, there's a mix of good and bad that must be weighed. However, if it's clearly bad, that's easy. Nobody in their right mind would encourage someone to stay in a clearly bad work environment or relationship. Don't know why a sports team would be any different.