What you really mean!

[flash277]

SOFTBALL PARENT TRANSLATOR 2020

1."My kid hit .500 on the weekend"!
Translation~she went 1 for 2 in pool play with an infield hit.

2. "Can't wait for Nationals"!
Translation~I can't wait to get our asses kicked in another State.

3. "My kid hit 60 on the gun at lessons".
Translation~ my kid has never came close to 60, but I will put down whoever actually does.

4. "We just got the new double stamp ghost"!
Translation~We just took out a payday loan

5. "Ideas for healthy snacks at tourneys to keep my kid energized"?
Translation~The McDonald's dollar menu is getting old...plus it gives my Husband bad gas.

6. "Cant wait for School Ball to be over"!
Translation~your kid isn't starting.

7. "Can't wait for Travel Ball to be over"!
Translation~Your kid isn't starting.

8. "My kid isn't going to Camp".
Translation~We can barely afford Motel 6 every weekend...now you want middle of the week money?

9. "We have 3 other kids". "They're not in to sports".
Translation~ We have 3 other kids who we never see...I'm pretty sure two of them are on the drugs, and the oldest has a face tat.

10. "My kids dream school is Florida".
Translation~your kid isn't going to Florida.

Feel free to add what you really mean........

 

[Quigs10]

Parent: "Hi Coach..my daughter Sucky Sally would love to try pitching in a game."

Coach: "Ummm, ok...have you been practicing at home or going to pitching clinics?"

Translation:
Parent: " I have no clue about softball but my daughtet sees other girls pitch and even though she's actually never even tried pitching one tine home or anywhere else...we think she'd enjoy walking every hitter and having the entire team be bored out of their minds."

Coach: "Ummm....WHO are you again? Ohhhh...ok so you're the parent of the girl who never comes to practice because she has flute lessons?"

 

[CoachJD]

1."My kid hit .500 on the weekend"!
Translation~she went 1 for 2 in pool play with an infield hit.

One of my seniors just finished her HS career (unfortunately with no senior season) with an even .400 batting average.

She was a bench player who went 12 for 30 and hit the ball out of the infield one (1) time, and that was on turf.

All but one was definitely a legitimate infield hit. I can remember one where I gave her a hit, but it could've gone either way.

I'm OK with her bragging that she hit .400 in high school.

 

[Eric F]

2. "Can't wait for Nationals"!
Translation~I can't wait to get our asses kicked in another State.

Alternate translation~I can't wait to drive to another state and play teams that we play against all year long 30 minutes from our house.

 

[Rolling Hard]

Hi, I am Jenny's mom, Julie. Jenny really seems to like the girls here. She been taking hitting lessons with Super Coach and has started to hit much better. We are just looking for a team that's a good fit for her.

Translation.... My daughter sucks.... She was riding the pine on her last team.....we have plenty of money and my daughter is a spoiled.

 

[uncdrew]

Another classic:

"My DD has 5 pitches"
Translation -- My daughter can sometimes locate her fastball and change up but knows the grip for lots of other pitches that look just like fastballs.

 

[_MIA_]

I would add something but I sit in the OF for a reason..

 

[Northball]

"That umpire has a breadbox for a strikezone!"
Translatition: My DD who has control issues was pitching and got yanked after walking in a couple of runs, but it wasn't her fault.