.409 is a great kid - sophomore, does everything the coaches ask, no sass, amazing outfielder with great arm - team player. Has support of her teammates and their parents. If the parents weren't coming up to me asking me what was going on I wouldn't have this huge knot in my stomach. They want her in over their own kid.
On the other hand I would hope DD has a good enough relationship with coach that she could ask, in a PC way, "just let me know what area I can improve on to earn more playing time", maybe it's an assistant she goes to or maybe the hitting coach? she can ask "do you think HC wants me to focus more on power or RBIs or OBP what is it we (hitting coach and her) can work on to improve my chances to play more" or position coach "do I need to focus more on positioning, better decision making, improved accuracy with throws to earn more playing time". I don't think any coach will look negatively on a player that say "what can I do to get better"
Maybe where you are...immediate benching on DD's team...coach flat out told the team "don't ever come to me about playing time"...
But you can ask any kid that has every played for me the question and I promise you everyone will answer the exact same way. What position did you play on Coach Carter's team..."wherever coach said" period end of statement, because I drilled it into their heads.