So tired of hearing "it's not fair" from other parents

[BobInMadison]

One of my friends has an interesting solution.

He is convinced he is a better coach than either the varsity or the JV coach at his HS (NOT the one my kids attend). In fact, the JV coach is the first to admit that my friend is a better coach, and has learned a lot from working with him. My friend goes a bit nuts when he sees the weird things going on in the games.

So, he pulls up a folding chair way away from the field. For home games, that means a hill overlooking the field. That way he doesn't disrupt anything.

 

[riseball]

Getting worked up about the level of coaching and play at local high school softball field is kind of like carping about efficiency and customer service while in line at the DMV.

 

[thatcrazymom]

I believe the best 9 are on the field. I believe the best 9 were on the field last year, and my DD was on the bench last year. Seniority may get a spot on the varsity team for senior year (if they have played jv for 3 years), but doesn't get a spot on the field unless it is earned. Honestly, the seniors on the team (the ones on the bench) seem to have a pretty good grasp on the situation and they seem ok. I'm sure they would prefer to play more, but they understand. The parents are the ones making a stink about it. I'll continue to sit away from everyone, when I can and use the bug spray that GD mentioned when I can't. I just don't understand that when the teenage girls don't cause any drama, that some of the parents chose to cause some.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Coogan's:

A new player is going to have to prove to me that she can beat out the gold glover, the batting leader, the vocal leader, etc. Those guys will get an advantage: Although I can tell a lot in tryouts by speed, form, and the objective and others tests we do, I can't take out the kids who got us to where we are, just because some kid beats her by a few points on a cold day with snow and rain in the mud.... I do hate veteran players who look rusty in tryouts or lazy. I downgrade them appropriately, as we have scores for that....

The place where we really have to tell players to 'pick another activity' is the transition from JV to Varsity for juniors. We just can't carry them over for seniority.

Once the group is picked, then scrimmages and early season performance will guide how the positions are divvied out.

Got no issue with that. In fact, if my DD does not make varsity in the spring, even if IMO she's one of the best 10 players in the school, I strongly doubt anyone will hear a complaint from me. The job of the coach is to set philosophy on team selection and playing time, and it's the job of DD to persuade the coach that she's deserving of a spot on the roster and/or in the lineup in the limited time she has available to do that. The parent's job is limited.

Another issue in this discussion is that the purpose of high school sports is not explicitly stated anywhere. Yet people are always making authoritative statements about what HS sports are about, and that society is going to hell because people don't see it the same way. I don't see anything in the NFHS mission statement that addresses the importance of winning, or playing the best players. If I were the coach, winning would be a high priority, but my point is that it is up to school administrators and coaches to decide what kind of sports program best serves their school and their students. There is plenty of room for disagreement about how to do that.

 

[quincy]

So tired of hearing “my DD plays TB” from other parents. You even threw in they played a lower level of TB, line it up and let’s compete.

Putting all the backups on the field and the team losing means nothing.

It sounds like your DD has earned her spot both enjoying the bench for the year and her on the field performance but I do not like some of the things you posted. Some of the things like the uniforms just confuse me why it is even an Issue but it does not surprise me that it was.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

I want to caution that due to Title IX in public schools, booster money is pooled and rotated to all sports. We should and cannot just support our own sport at the expense of the others.

That's interesting. DD's HS didn't pool and disperse funds across all athletics. What our girls earned ( fund raisers, sponsors ) was theirs to keep for the sport. Now gate fees across all sports were put into a "general" athletic fund, used for the extra cost of travel involved in the playoffs...........if a sport made it deep.

 

[BobInMadison]

So tired of hearing “my DD plays TB” from other parents. You even threw in they played a lower level of TB, line it up and let’s compete.

Putting all the backups on the field and the team losing means nothing.

It sounds like your DD has earned her spot both enjoying the bench for the year and her on the field performance but I do not like some of the things you posted. Some of the things like the uniforms just confuse me why it is even an Issue but it does not surprise me that it was.

At my kids' HS, the girls who play TB are usually, but NOT ALWAYS, the better players. In general, a girl who has played for a regional team will be better than a girl on a local team, will be better than a girl who has never played TB, but there are exceptions. Sometimes a girl who has played little or no TB will be better than a TB player.

 

[riseball]

I want to caution that due to Title IX in public schools, booster money is pooled and rotated to all sports. We should and cannot just support our own sport at the expense of the others.

Maybe that is how they choose to do it at your school, but that is not how it works in the rest of the world. There are also different rules for capital expenditures vs expenses.

 

[thatcrazymom]

I didn't intend to be confusing, though I'll admit I was after re-reading. TB doesn't have anything to do with it, just that most of the starters have played it. I mentioned it as part of the parent's complaint that her DD had more experience (measured in years of playing with no regard to level). The DP this year has not played travel ball. She hasn't played softball in several years. She plays highly competitive soccer and is committed to play in college. She is the DP because she showed up to tryouts, practices, and games with a big bat. She has earned the spot. So far, it seems that everyone has earned their spots. The players on the varsity bench are really good players, but there is a larger pool of talent to choose from at our school this year.

I was just thinking that if the players are dealing with it without whining, the parents should follow their example.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Again, this sort of thing is not my forte. We are lucky that the boosters takes care of everything we need. And there has been a lawsuit about booster money staying in one sport, and the school systems are changing how they do things. Naturally, the boys teams would end up with more money, better facilities, better uniforms, if you went by parent interests and participation rates. Sad but true. And the results would be in violation of Title IX. At our school, the boys baseball team has more kids try out, more parent support and a larger percentage of booster members than softball does, by a long shot. We joke that our softball parents need to be trained about sports.....I just don't have the time.

I just don't think I'd like that setup. Our girls had to raise $750 a piece, per year, to play. That covered all the operating costs. They did fund raisers and hit the pavement for sponsors, if they didn't get the $750...........mom and dad better write a check. It was a "learning experience", all the other sports did the same. My DD usually earned between $800-1000, she could pass the extra onto another softball player who was short.

If she earned $1000 and some administrator said she had to give it to some football player who didn't participate in his own fundraising or finding sponsors, that sounds dangerously like "redistribution of wealth" or "entitlements". I think that sends the wrong message to our youth. But again, we live in a small town with small town values.