- Mar 7, 2016
- 242
- 28
So we are going through a bit a rough spot with the school my DD attends. Back story I have been the head coach of our travel team going on 6 years, my wife is the head coach of the travel BB team going on 3 years. We are both are former Div 1 athletes. (it is also how we met).
We both went to 5A programs in Kansas and were 3 and 4 year starters. My DD goes to a 3A extremely small town school where everyone knows everybody. She is just starting out as 7th grader. We are finding out very fast that its not how you do or your ability its who you know that dictates what team you end up on. All of the teachers are the coaches, and all have players on the teams. They are all interconnected. They just announced teams for BB, and all of her travel team made B team on a mixed 7th/8th squad which was expected due to age and 8th being noticeably better players. All except my DD, who made C team. My DD has been the leading scorer on her travel team for all three years and comes to play when she steps on the court. When my DD is planning to ask to the coach what needs to be done to make B, I dont expect to hear anything positive from this conversation due to the following:
Now for the part that ties into softball... the coaches of the BB team are family members of another travel ball orgs team that we battle with. Their head coach is also the head softball coach of the HS. Her husband is the BB coach, and one of their starters mothers is the assistant BB coach... They are all current and soon to be teachers for my DD. We have heard numerous stories of school sports at this school being run this way and always blew off the rumors as just that. We were told by several people we trust and played college sports with that if you talk with the coaches your kid will catch the brunt of it and the AD will wash his hands of any involvement. Theses coaches/teachers/Ad are all close friends, all with children of various ages and with our luck all of them have a child one grade above my DDs class.
I am at a loss for what to do here, i have always lived by a rule you earn your spot, hard work pays off, parents never talk to coaches. My daughter is losing confidence, and its showing. All of the things a normal coach preaches is thrown aside in this program. My daughter spends hours practicing solo, going to open gyms etc, only to see a class mate that missed half of the tryout period due to illness, and is noticeably worse at BBALL make B team. I cant help but wonder if my coaching of softball and the relationship of these coaches compared to their travel ball team is not effecting my daughter in school ball. My wife knows these players better than anyone having coached them for 3 solid years, the coaching choices her have her speechless.
as a side note I am a firm believer if my DD earned a spot on C due to lack of effort than that's on her. Encouraging her to try harder knowing it pry wont effect the outcome is something that is killing me at the moment. Tonight is their first games... tomorrow she will speak with the coach. I will report back what happens. If i would have known that me coaching a sport would affect my daughter in any way I would have never stepped up to begin with and this has me seriously considering walking away.
We both went to 5A programs in Kansas and were 3 and 4 year starters. My DD goes to a 3A extremely small town school where everyone knows everybody. She is just starting out as 7th grader. We are finding out very fast that its not how you do or your ability its who you know that dictates what team you end up on. All of the teachers are the coaches, and all have players on the teams. They are all interconnected. They just announced teams for BB, and all of her travel team made B team on a mixed 7th/8th squad which was expected due to age and 8th being noticeably better players. All except my DD, who made C team. My DD has been the leading scorer on her travel team for all three years and comes to play when she steps on the court. When my DD is planning to ask to the coach what needs to be done to make B, I dont expect to hear anything positive from this conversation due to the following:
Now for the part that ties into softball... the coaches of the BB team are family members of another travel ball orgs team that we battle with. Their head coach is also the head softball coach of the HS. Her husband is the BB coach, and one of their starters mothers is the assistant BB coach... They are all current and soon to be teachers for my DD. We have heard numerous stories of school sports at this school being run this way and always blew off the rumors as just that. We were told by several people we trust and played college sports with that if you talk with the coaches your kid will catch the brunt of it and the AD will wash his hands of any involvement. Theses coaches/teachers/Ad are all close friends, all with children of various ages and with our luck all of them have a child one grade above my DDs class.
I am at a loss for what to do here, i have always lived by a rule you earn your spot, hard work pays off, parents never talk to coaches. My daughter is losing confidence, and its showing. All of the things a normal coach preaches is thrown aside in this program. My daughter spends hours practicing solo, going to open gyms etc, only to see a class mate that missed half of the tryout period due to illness, and is noticeably worse at BBALL make B team. I cant help but wonder if my coaching of softball and the relationship of these coaches compared to their travel ball team is not effecting my daughter in school ball. My wife knows these players better than anyone having coached them for 3 solid years, the coaching choices her have her speechless.
as a side note I am a firm believer if my DD earned a spot on C due to lack of effort than that's on her. Encouraging her to try harder knowing it pry wont effect the outcome is something that is killing me at the moment. Tonight is their first games... tomorrow she will speak with the coach. I will report back what happens. If i would have known that me coaching a sport would affect my daughter in any way I would have never stepped up to begin with and this has me seriously considering walking away.