Opinions Wanted - Pitching parent concerns

[craZsoftballm0m]

Hi everyone, longtime lurker, new poster. Ok I would like to everyone’s opinion please. This past Sunday at DD’s 12U practice the team did a little 6 on 6 scrimmages for 1.5 hours. My DD pitched about 4 innings I guess. From my vantage point I would say it was a mediocre outing for her. By no means was she having a good day.

We get an email today from the coach saying that she and the “pitching coach” want to sit down with my DD either before or after practice. The PC was standing behind the pitchers calling balls and strikes and also giving signals to the catcher to relay the pitcher. Well, it seems my daughter wasn’t throwing all the pitches the PC was calling and that she was giving the PC a hard time about some calls. Now, I didn’t see my daughter’s demeanor change or indicate that she was upset about some calls but I do agree that she shouldn’t have said anything to the PC/umpire about the calls.

So…onto the real reason of my post. If this PC is adamant that my DD didn’t throw exactly what she called how should I react? My first thought is: she is 12, is there a chance she missed her pitch/spot? Could she have missed the signal? Maybe the catcher relayed it wrong? The same catcher that about 2 weeks ago I had to show which way my DD curve ball was going to go(we only have RH pitchers). And what makes this coach that calls the pitches god. From reading on here I have came to believe that pitchers and catchers should be trying to call the game. It makes perfect sense to me, they can see the batter better than the coaches and they both know what pitches are working better.

So, after this little meeting this week, if it comes down that this coach is god, should I question her credentials? Should I quiz her on what she would throw in what situation. I know my DD and I go over pitching theory from time to time. Like what to throw to slappers or what to throw if you are pretty sure the girl will be bunting, how to not throw in a particular pattern, how you really shouldn’t throw a CU on 0-2 because everyone is looking for it, etc.
Anyways sorry for the rant. I agree 100% my DD shouldn’t say or act bad towards anyone calling balls or strikes. Not sure how I feel if she actually did throw a different pitch that was called.
Thanks for listening. And I would appreciate any feedback/comments.

 

[joemcq51]

Hi everyone, longtime lurker, new poster. Ok I would like to everyone’s opinion please. This past Sunday at DD’s 12U practice the team did a little 6 on 6 scrimmages for 1.5 hours. My DD pitched about 4 innings I guess. From my vantage point I would say it was a mediocre outing for her. By no means was she having a good day.

We get an email today from the coach saying that she and the “pitching coach” want to sit down with my DD either before or after practice. The PC was standing behind the pitchers calling balls and strikes and also giving signals to the catcher to relay the pitcher. Well, it seems my daughter wasn’t throwing all the pitches the PC was calling and that she was giving the PC a hard time about some calls. Now, I didn’t see my daughter’s demeanor change or indicate that she was upset about some calls but I do agree that she shouldn’t have said anything to the PC/umpire about the calls.

So…onto the real reason of my post. If this PC is adamant that my DD didn’t throw exactly what she called how should I react? My first thought is: she is 12, is there a chance she missed her pitch/spot? Could she have missed the signal? Maybe the catcher relayed it wrong? The same catcher that about 2 weeks ago I had to show which way my DD curve ball was going to go(we only have RH pitchers). And what makes this coach that calls the pitches god. From reading on here I have came to believe that pitchers and catchers should be trying to call the game. It makes perfect sense to me, they can see the batter better than the coaches and they both know what pitches are working better.

So, after this little meeting this week, if it comes down that this coach is god, should I question her credentials? Should I quiz her on what she would throw in what situation. I know my DD and I go over pitching theory from time to time. Like what to throw to slappers or what to throw if you are pretty sure the girl will be bunting, how to not throw in a particular pattern, how you really shouldn’t throw a CU on 0-2 because everyone is looking for it, etc.
Anyways sorry for the rant. I agree 100% my DD shouldn’t say or act bad towards anyone calling balls or strikes. Not sure how I feel if she actually did throw a different pitch that was called.
Thanks for listening. And I would appreciate any feedback/comments.

Sounds like you could be overreacting just a bit. You are already getting your defenses up, before you even hear what the coaches have to say. For all you know, it could be a "we really need yor DD this year" conversation. I would relax until you have the talk. Then take what they say, don't react abruptly. Thank them for their feedback and let them know you will get with them in a day or two. This way you have time to think about what you want to say back. Let us know.

 

[sluggers]

First, I agree that the catcher and pitcher should be calling pitches. But, that is irrelevant...the coach is the coach. If this is the way he/she chooses to run the team, your DD either follows the rules or she quits. It really is that simple.

I would be more upset that the coach thinks he has to bring you into the conversation. You aren't the pitcher, your DD is. If he has a problem with your DD, then he should talk to her about it, not you.

If this PC is adamant that my DD didn’t throw exactly what she called how should I react/ My first thought is: she is 12, is there a chance she missed her pitch/spot? Could she have missed the signal? Maybe the catcher relayed it wrong?

Use this as a learning experience. Teach her how to handle this type of an issue. How would you handle a situation if your boss came to you and said, "I told you to do X and you did Y. What is going on?" Talk to her about handling the situation, and then let her do the talking at the meeting.

I would also lay out, calmly and rationally with as little "mother protecting the cub" mentality as possible, what the coach expects from her. All you are really doing is teaching your DD is about how to handle these issues at a job.

What would her boss do to her if she starts complaining to her boss in public as opposed to privately? What happens if you don't follow your boss' directions? Etc...

And, then I would tell your DD that she has to accept the consequences of her future actions and not to complain to you if things don't work out.

 

[PA SB Dad]

At 12U I do not think it's unusual that a coach is calling pitches - I see it all the time. Not that it's the right thing, it's just more common than the catcher calling the game. I think it's the rare 12U player that can do that (we had our catcher call the game the entire season at 12U, but from every other team we stole the signs from the coach sitting on his bucket).

I would be very careful if you are planning to ask the pitching coach what her credentials are. What are yours? There is no question you could do more harm than good if you go into it with that attitude. For what it's worth, if my pitching coach came to me and told me a pitcher was not throwing the pitches she called and was giving her attitude, that pitcher would not see circle time for a LONG time. As a head coach, I think you have to support your assistants if they have a reasonable issue with a player.

 

[dadonachair]

Are you and your DD new to the team? Are you new to TB, are they? How does the coach, "coach"? How is the rest of the team? Look at the overall picture. You mentioned they were playing 6 on 6. I don't think it is uncommon for a coach to stand behind a P under these conditions. They can call the game and "coach" at the same time. It is a practice. For all you know the coach was using the time to have your DD work on her weaker pitches. My DD's coach tell the girls what the P is going to throw in BP. It lets the girls be able to recognise what things are. Later in the year he has the batters stand in the box and try to tell the coach what the P threw. It is part of learning FP. The coach might be feeling out your DD to see how they handle things, what her strong/weak pitches are. Not all fastballs, curve balls, drop balls, change ups are the same. As far as the coach calling pitches. I would not let that bother me in 12u. It has nothing to do with pitchers. How many 12u catchers can call a game. I believe in 12u that is when you start teaching catchers to call a game. To call A game it takes years of practice to learn what to call when let alone to who.

 

[craZsoftballm0m]

Wow, that's a lot to take in. A lot of great information! Thanks. I just wanted to address the things that were said -

Joe & Slugger - Thank you very much for the reality check. It is definitely appreciated and helped me take a step back and look at things from a different vantage point. and Slugger, just fyi, coach emailed me and said that coach and PC wanted to talk to DD, i asked if everything was ok in email - so coach didn't ask me to the meeting, sorry if i somehow implied that.

Screwball - We are going to sitting DD down this evening after training and talk to her about how she felt about the game in general from practice.

PA SB - I guess i am thinking - this is practice right - why not let the players play the game - including the pitch calling. That's probably not something you want to let them start to try to do on their own in a real game. Wouldn't this be the time to see if 'what you are teaching them' is sinking in and they could start doing it on their own? But i see your point. As far as asking about the credentials, maybe this isn't the right time or would look rebellious, but i don't necessarily think it's an inappropriate question to ask.

and Dad - We are not new to the team - the coach is new to the team. We are not new to TB, this is dd 4th year. She is also the only returning pitcher from last years team (was a younger 12 last year - other pitchers have moved up) Last year as a 1st year 12 she logged the most innings and lowest WHIP/ERA. During some recent practices they have had pitchers throw to catchers and have batters in the box try to recognize a pitch. Since these girls will be playing 14s next year, that is exactly why i think they should start using this time to try to 'call their own game'. They should be progressing to this, but like i mentioned in my original post, DD has to talk with the catcher to remind her what the positions are, and where a ball will break.

I guess overall, my frustration was coming from thinking that DD is deliberatly throwing a different pitch. I watched the 'game', she didn't shake off a call, and since the catcher always seems to set up in the middle and doesn't shift when a pitch is called to break in or out, she may have just been missing the pitches. During warmups, the PC coach wasn't watching pitchers and catchers. Didn't talk to the pitchers or catchers after warm ups to find out what's working or what's not. Sometimes things are just off. And i would like to think that i know my DD well enough to read her body languange and know when she is acting a bit pissy, or is frustrated and i just didn't see that. She seemed to be having fun. She's never been the 'i not going to do what you say and enjoy it' kinda kid. Guess we'll find out more after practice.

Thanks again for the reality check, advice and information. It is much appreciated!!

 

[Amy in AZ.]

and since the catcher always seems to set up in the middle

Oh, I hate that. The pitcher is only as good as the catcher. Never set a pitcher up down the middle.

I would like to know, what pitches were being called? A 12YO generally would only have a FB and a change up. She might have one other pitch that she is developing. So, besides calling the place that the catcher puts her glove, there aren't a lot of pitches to call.

 

[craZsoftballm0m]

Hi Amy, i understand what you are saying, but my dd throws a FB, Change, Curve (best pitch), Screw and drop regularly. I know everyone will say that at 12 it's not probable. But she works constantly on spin, and yes the pitches actually move. She has been working multiple pitching instructors, one who said the same thing - when we first approached him as a possible instructor, but he was pleasantly surprised during her first meeting with him regarding her mechanics and the spin on her ball. So yeah, i hate that the catcher only sets up down the middle.

 

[Sweet Lou]

Oh, I hate that. The pitcher is only as good as the catcher. Never set a pitcher up down the middle.

Sharp hitters will pick up on catcher location. My preference would be to setup "down the middle" and shift late to where the pitch location is called. But to each his (or her) own is suppose.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

They are 12U. We don't know how old your DD is. You are either going to have to do what the coaches want and grin and bear it, or more her up to 14U, which I think is what I would do.