Hard Decisions

[Little Angels Softball]

But, I fail to understand why it's ok to cut a player because their parents stink but not ok to let the player go because they are not performing...

Easy, really. The parents are adults and should know better. Especially after they've been warned.

The girl is still a 12-year-old child. We don't expect them to be completely responsible for themselves at almost anything else in life at that age. Softball should be no different.

 

[JAD]

I would recommend a frank discussion with the parents where you lay out the teams expectations and emphasize that playing time is earned. Let them know that the way things are headed their DD will see diminished playing time unless the coaching staff sees some improvements. Then it is up to the parents and the player if they want to ride the pine, work hard to improve, or change teams.

 

[AngelsFan01]

This year, our team was told at the very first team meeting that the coaches would be evaluating everybody at the end of the season. I kind of agree and disagree with this, but I know that my DD is very hard working and puts a lot of effort in everything she does, so I don't think about it too much.

12u is definitely a time to develop players, but at the same time, if you have a player that doesn't want to develop and isn't performing well because of her effort, than why wouldn't you cut her? Yes, commitment is a two-way street, however the player isn't fulfilling her end of the bargaining so you would be cutting her in response to that. Having said that, however, I would limit her playing time now and not release her until the end of the Fall season. It sounds like you've already had a conversation with the parents about this, so if that isn't working, there's nothing else you can do for the kid.

And in response to others, I don't agree with keeping a player on a team when she isn't performing because she has personal problems at home...as much as I sympathize, your job as a HC isn't to provide counseling or to just carry a girl because you feel sorry for her (I know, that's harsh - maybe everybody should be glad I don't coach nowadays!). Again, that doesn't mean you should drop her immediately...but definitely not carry her for an entire year!

 

[softball_mom1999]

Easy, really. The parents are adults and should know better. Especially after they've been warned.

The girl is still a 12-year-old child. We don't expect them to be completely responsible for themselves at almost anything else in life at that age. Softball should be no different.

So it's ok to, in effect, punish a kid because their parents act like jerks when they have no control over that but they can't be held responsible for their own effort?

I don't really care for the idea of cutting a child mid-season for their playing performance. Not at 12. But lack of effort from one player can be just as cancerous to the morale of the team as a bad parent can be.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

So it's ok to, in effect, punish a kid because their parents act like jerks when they have no control over that but they can't be held responsible for their own effort?

I don't really care for the idea of cutting a child mid-season for their playing performance. Not at 12. But lack of effort from one player can be just as cancerous to the morale of the team as a bad parent can be.

In effect, yes, it is OK. I don't think of it as punishing the girl for her parents, I think of it as saving 11-12 other families from cancer.

I'm also not talking about cutting a kid for attitude issues .... I was talking strictly about performance. Attitude issues are different and must be dealt with if they are disruptive or, in some cases, cancerous to the team.

I've never had it happen to me, but I have witnessed other teams being torn apart by internal rife. Talk about punishing the girls ...... IMHO it gets no worse than that. In almost every instance it has been one parent who started it, slowly at first, making negative comments (usually about the coach's daughter). Again, almost every time, it is a gripe about the coach's daughter getting too much playing time or not playing well or that the cancerous parent's kid wants to play the same position. Again, almost every time, the complaints are unwarranted because the coach's DD is a helluva player and has completely earned her spot. The problem comes when the coach makes another decision that someone else doesn't like (but they usually would have gotten over if they had only talked to the coach about it) and then starts listening to the cancerous parent's snide remarks .... and starts believing them. It is a slippery slope after that and implosion can occur so quickly it would surprise you. I've personally seen good teams with great coaches go from first negative comment to disbanding in as little as four weeks.

 

[sluggers]

Agree with Little Angels...the coaches saw the kid at tryouts, so they knew (or should have known) the skill level of the child. If the child doesn't develop the way the coaches hoped, the responsibility is partly that of the coaches. A coach can always find ways to play the child where she doesn't damage the team. (I.e., there are always games you win 10-0 and lose 10-0. You can always get her some playing time.) It isn't a perfect situation, but it is workable.

The parents are another story...all parents look more or less sane at tryouts. You only really start seeing the problem parents after a few games. The really crazy parents are totally out of control. (As a good friend would say, they are Minnie Mouses.) The bad parents speak poorly of the coaches, the players, and the other parents.

 

[starsnuffer]

In travel ball, you usually have 2-3 kids paying to ride pine to fund the 2-3 starters that play for free.

-W

 

[Momo'sDad]

Crush --

I've enjoyed following you for a couple of years now and I like what you're trying to build out there. I think back to some of your early posts and remember you saying something along the lines of having made a 2-year commitment to the players and families that joined your team when you started back in 10u. One of the things you were displeased with was the fact that some of them bailed when the going got tough in that 1st year.

Many coaches would love to have the top 10-12 studs in their metro, but that is rarely the way it goes at 12u. Normally, you've got a few, another team has a few, and another has a couple. I know that all programs have different goals regardless of age, but if I select a player in August, then that's a player I'm committing to playing and developing until the following August. You saw something you liked in that player when you selected her. It's still there and as a coach, it's up to you to coach her up to that.

My perspective may be different in a year or 2 and I know I'll see things differently in 2nd-year 14u, but that's a long way off. I know you want to have a really competitive team, but I believe you will achieve that by being the coach that parents want their DDs to play for, because they know you're going to develop the players instead of always focusing on trying to replace the girls you have with better talent.

Best wishes.