Drama in this Sport

[Eric F]

I know this is going kind of OT but just because your kid wasn't ready for travel ball til 12, that doesn't mean no 8 year old is. When mine was 8 we did All Stars over the summer. It was pretty much the only option to keep her playing, and she didn't want a break. Her rec coach was coaching, her BFF on the team, so we said sure, why not. It was her decision. When All Stars was over we went back to rec for one season. She just didn't like it as much. She'd hit a homerun, get back to dugout and say, "In a tournament that would only have been a single." She hated the lack of competition. We had 3 girls on our team from the All Stars team and we won the rec championship, and she was mostly just annoyed that most of the other teams weren't a challenge. There are definitely plenty of cases of parents pushing their kids into something they're not ready for, but in our 7ish months of travel ball, what I've mostly seen is girls who LOVE the game. Keeping mine in rec would have stunted her development as a player. Do I care? Not really. I want her to have fun- I never played sports or care a whit about them before she took up softball. But SHE cares. That's what matters to me. If she's ever not having fun her dad and I will be happy to make a change.

It's different for every kid. Some are ready for high level play earlier than others. Some never get there. If their love for the game continues to build along with their skills, that's a good sign you're probably doing it right - no matter what level of play it is.

For us, it was clear at the start of this past spring rec season (2nd year 10U) that we would be headed to TB sooner rather than later. Our decision to skip all-stars this summer and go to TB was the right choice for us. At this point, half of my DD's former 8U all-star teammates have gone to TB, and all are doing very well at that level. Of the other half, a couple may make the move to TB in another year, and a few never will. One has made the decision to quit softball entirely.

 

[Rocketech1]

IME, most (but not all) of the drama goes away as the players get older and the crazy parents get a reality check on their kids talent. In my area, 8U seems to be the worst age since most of the coaches and parents are inexperienced about the process and are hyper sensitive to everything that goes on. BTW, it's not just a softball thing; soccer, baseball, basketball, competitive cheer, you name it has these same crazy parents.

On a related note, I hear all the time that winning the 8U, 10U state or national championship game is not important. I somewhat disagree. Many of these players will drop out of the sport by the time they are teenagers anyways, no reason why they can't have a great time and try to win a significant tournament. It's an exclamation mark on all of the hard work and dedication the players and coaches put in throughout the year, no matter what level they are at. With the right attitude and approach, it can be a wonderful experience for both the players and their families.

 

[Rambler34]

I would seriously stay clear of an 8U coach that even knows his teams ranking. Every level needs to be fun but 8U and 10U develop the love for the game.

How about playing a team whose coaches jackets had "__ State 10U USSSA Points Champions" on the back? It was a good feeling for a first year 10U team to send that crew home.

 

[TMoney]

It takes all kinds. The drama only affects you, if you get caught up in it. There are now thousands of teams to choose from. Choose wisely and enjoy. The time goes way too fast to focus on negative things.

 

[Daddylawman]

I hope I can contribute to this as I do live in the South and coached from my DD at 8U up through 18 Gold (though not the whole way - I have another who played also). First, I don't think it's a "Southern" thing, crazy is everywhere. As others have said, it tends to get better as folks understand the game and the team goals and the girls get older. Also, a lot of those girls with "crazy" parents wind up not having fun and generally quit around 12 or 13 years of age. I'm actually looking to get back into the game with a 10U team starting this Fall. I won't have a child on the team and I'll be setting down the ground rules with the parents from day 1. As others have said, at this age it should be about having fun. There are dozens of tournaments and no need to play with the "major" organizations, so everyone can find a level to compete. I would be nervous if you have a team with 4 coaches, all of whose DD's are "pitchers" or "shortstops". That's code for Daddyball.

And the best piece of advice in this whole thread - take your chair and move down the baseline or to the outfield - there's never drama out there.

 

[Eric F]

On a related note, I hear all the time that winning the 8U, 10U state or national championship game is not important. I somewhat disagree. Many of these players will drop out of the sport by the time they are teenagers anyways, no reason why they can't have a great time and try to win a significant tournament. It's an exclamation mark on all of the hard work and dedication the players and coaches put in throughout the year, no matter what level they are at. With the right attitude and approach, it can be a wonderful experience for both the players and their families.

In the grand scheme of things, maybe an 8U or 10U tournament win isn't a big deal. To the people involved, however, it can be significant and feel gigantic. 2 years ago, my DD's 8U all-star team won a local tournament, and won the ASA B District Championship. It was the first tournament and District wins for any team, of any age, in the 40-year history of the league. We witnessed 12 talented little players work their tails off at practice, play with determination and 100% effort, and every one of them were in the moment. For the players, parents, and coaches, there is a bond of friendship that was created out of the shared experience that still endures. That experience also had a significant influence on the direction softball would take for a majority of those girls. For us, it was a very important window of time.

 

[Rocketech1]

In the grand scheme of things, maybe an 8U or 10U tournament win isn't a big deal. To the people involved, however, it can be significant and feel gigantic. 2 years ago, my DD's 8U all-star team won a local tournament, and won the ASA B District Championship. It was the first tournament and District wins for any team, of any age, in the 40-year history of the league. We witnessed 12 talented little players work their tails off at practice, play with determination and 100% effort, and every one of them were in the moment. For the players, parents, and coaches, there is a bond of friendship that was created out of the shared experience that still endures. That experience also had a significant influence on the direction softball would take for a majority of those girls. For us, it was a very important window of time.

I agree. One year, DD's 10U all-star team made it to the championship game at Western Nationals and it was an incredible experience for all involved that may never be replicated for these young girls or the league for that matter? Who knows, but don't tell them that their $5, 2nd place trophy (placard) is meaningless. It is anything but that...

 

[Eric F]

I agree. One year, DD's 10U all-star team made it to the championship game at Western Nationals and it was an incredible experience for all involved that may never be replicated for these young girls or the league for that matter? Who knows, but don't tell them that their $5, 2nd place trophy (placard) is meaningless. It is anything but that...

The value of a trophy is NEVER in what it cost to buy, but in the effort expended to earn it.

 

[Laura Hahn Fields]

Letting this one go - never said your kid wasn't ready for TB at 8 - but never said mine wasn't either...

You said you were glad you waited until she was ready and asked you. Sorry if I misinterpreted.

Sent from my SM-N900T using Tapatalk

 

[barlowjames]

Really glad I missed all of this. My daughter has been playing since U8 but never really got into it beyond rec ball and the occasional all star team. We were happy to see her run around and play and never got caught up in the drama of the parents arguing to make sure their special little snowflake got playing time. Started travel at U14 but with a team that didn't travel very far so again not much drama.

This year she landed on a very competitive U16 select team (that's travel ball for those up North) and something really lit a fire under her. It certainly wasn't me. Very little drama as you need to earn your position on the field and all the players understand that. Parents whining about how much time their little snowflake gets embarrasses the players more than anything.

I will also say I agree with the sentiment that most of these 8U D1 bound super stars won't even make it to high school ball. Fewer older players mean fewer teams and much more distance between them. There were so many U8 travel teams that if she had wanted to we could have walked to practice. Now it's an hour drive four times a week and that's one of the closer teams.

In the end, as a parent, I just hope she has fun and grows up enjoying the competition and learns that being competitive and wanting to do better than others isn't a bad thing. Hopefully this will pay big dividends for the rest of her life......and if it earns her a degree paid for by a university then all the better.