DD got yelled at for hugging a teammate

[Little Angels Softball]

Not many girls respond well to screaming and yelling. This coach needs to find another hobby.

On another note, why in the world is a young pitcher with control issues playing up? Kind of hard for me to blame her lack of confidence on a stupid coach when her parents are the more likely culprits.

 

[klamath632]

Yep, we're playing out the string and moving on after the season. I could write pages about my issues with these coaches. (Actually, I have written them. I just haven't sent them. No need to be "that dad.")

DD has impressed a few coaches in the tournaments so far, and one actually emailed me asking if she was available to guest pitch (because their team has an injury.) DD's got options and this crap isn't worth it. Luckily she's playing lights out and isn't catching the brunt of it. But there are plenty of other reasons, besides demeanor, to leave this team.

 

[BobInMadison]

Hey, my DDs have been know not only to hug a teammate, but on some occasions hug a player on the other team (esp. during the post-game handshake, esp. in rec league if the girl is a friend).

I've also seen cases where a pitcher from the other team in a friendly came up our team's dugout to comfort DD 3 after hitting her with a pitch, or DD 1 went over to congratulate her best friend for hitting a game winning grand slam for the other team.

Learning good sportsmanship and learning how to be a good teammate are more important than winning any single game, no matter how important the game seems at the moment.

 

[guero_gordo]

So, he's bullying the pitcher and her teammates are scolded because they are interfering with the bullying. Sounds like his daughter is a pitcher.

 

[Top_Notch]

It might be normal as I've seen some bad coaching. But it doesn't make it right. My DD doesn't need that as she's harder on herself than I'll ever be.

What really grinds my gears is coaches who want to help but don't communicate properly. If a player is obviously struggling, give constructive criticism on how to fix it. For example, "Just throw strikes!" is not constructive. "Shoulders back", "Finish loose", etc... are constructive.

 

[klamath632]

So, he's bullying the pitcher and her teammates are scolded because they are interfering with the bullying. Sounds like his daughter is a pitcher.

Glad you asked. Coach's daughter *is* a pitcher. She's one of the girls that probably should have stayed down at 10U this season, and coach realizes it, because she doesn't pitch in tournament games. What does get me though is Coach was a pitcher herself, and you'd think she would call something other than a fastball, but nope, every pitch is 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1. My DD has a beautiful flip change that is -10mph from her fastball (46-49mph range), and she lands it about 75% of the time. If she doesn't land her first one in a game, Coach will never call for it again.

It might be normal as I've seen some bad coaching. But it doesn't make it right. My DD doesn't need that as she's harder on herself than I'll ever be.

What really grinds my gears is coaches who want to help but don't communicate properly. If a player is obviously struggling, give constructive criticism on how to fix it. For example, "Just throw strikes!" is not constructive. "Shoulders back", "Finish loose", etc... are constructive.

That's the assistant coach that does that. I've lost track of how many times he's said "Just throw strikes!" I've instructed DD to reply "Sorry Coach, can't do that, I'm practicing throwing wild pitches today!" the next time he does it, but she keeps ignoring me. She's a far better person than I am.

 

[GoCaboNow]

It might be normal as I've seen some bad coaching. But it doesn't make it right. My DD doesn't need that as she's harder on herself than I'll ever be.

What really grinds my gears is coaches who want to help but don't communicate properly. If a player is obviously struggling, give constructive criticism on how to fix it. For example, "Just throw strikes!" is not constructive. "Shoulders back", "Finish loose", etc... are constructive.

Yeah, lots of folks try to help but makes it worse, especially for the younger ones. Why are you imploring the nine year old that has been pitching for 10 months to now start throwing strikes on command? I am pretty sure she is trying.

I have a few keys I try to remind DD in a game if she is missing left or high. But between parents and other coaches yelling encouragement too much is too much and I try to just let her pitch as much as possible during the inning, other than basic encouragement.

 

[crd1998]

Glad you asked. Coach's daughter *is* a pitcher. She's one of the girls that probably should have stayed down at 10U this season, and coach realizes it, because she doesn't pitch in tournament games. What does get me though is Coach was a pitcher herself, and you'd think she would call something other than a fastball, but nope, every pitch is 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1. My DD has a beautiful flip change that is -10mph from her fastball (46-49mph range), and she lands it about 75% of the time. If she doesn't land her first one in a game, Coach will never call for it again.

That's the assistant coach that does that. I've lost track of how many times he's said "Just throw strikes!" I've instructed DD to reply "Sorry Coach, can't do that, I'm practicing throwing wild pitches today!" the next time he does it, but she keeps ignoring me. She's a far better person than I am.

When my oldest was playing 12U the coach calling pitches would never call a change up, my daughter had a good back flip change up. We approached the coach and he said at 12u they only need to throw fastballs. So we approached the manager and the manager approached the coach and nothing changed. My daughter's change up struggled the next season. About 3 years later she learned a knuckleball and never looked back but does occasionally throw a back flip change up when the weather is bad enough to effect her grip on the ball. This is the reason I ended up coaching, could not sit back and watch the coach limit the pitcher's potential.

Had a scrimmage game last night, I was letting the catcher call the pitches. When my daughter came in from the mound I asked " how is it going" she replied " a little off". I left the conversation about her pitching at that. The next at bat she hit one to the fence, a little more and it would have been gone.

 

[WARRIORMIKE]

Hugging is a stupid way to show emotions on a girls softball team. A hard punch to the shoulder is more like it!!!

 

[Sparky Guy]

This is going to sound somewhat like the coach in the OP, but I have my reasons.

I will let a teammate console another for a short time if they are upset. The thing I don't let happen in the dugout is half the team trying to "mother" an upset player. All it does is bring the whole team's demeanor down. Girls will try to "help" someone out by taking part of the feeling "bad" upon themselves and be upset along with their friend/teammate. If a player is that upset I will have a discussion with them. I've found that making them talk and then letting them know it's not the end of the world for them they settle down pretty quickly. I don't feed it.

Usually by the mid point of the season they understand they are just having a bad game and there will be other opportunities. There are usually very few tears in my dugout. And believe me. I've had some real criers over the years. Even with the younger girls. Once they understand the tears do not help them the mindset changes for the better for most of them. They become more resilient and bounce back quicker after making a mistake.