Coaches, why do you coach?

[pctrips]

I'm not a coach, I am a parent and I have been fortunate to not experience anything that sounds like what is described above. I will tell you that I feel it is my responsibility as a parent to put my daughter in the best situation to be successful. If you don't think your daughter is in the best environment, find another one. However, I'm also not one to criticize our coaches regardless of what I think. By having my daughter play for a coach I'm indicating that I trust him to guide and teach my daughter.

My daughter when through a 2-3 tourney stretch in 2013 that included the World Series where she wasn't getting much playing time. She was upset as was my wife. My feedback to my daughter was there were 2 ways she could deal with the situation. She could pout and look for people to blame or she could work her tail off to earn her spot and make it difficult to keep her on the bench. Thankfully she chose the latter and had a great spring/summer season and started all of the World Series games this summer and they won the Championship.

The bottom line for me is this. I realize this is competitive softball and there needs to be a focus on winning. But as a parent my ONLY concern is the development of my daughter. No one is going to remember or care much about those trophies you win as a 10u in the grand scheme of things. Win or lose as long as my daughter is in a situation where she is improving then we are meeting the objectives.

 

[canyonjoe]

I remember on our previous team I had a couple of issues about what the coach had done. I talked to him during the following week and we discussed them for awhile. Some he agreed, some we disagreed, but we finished after about 20 minutes. I then asked him if he had several hours of time to discuss all the good things he did. I think that some parents just think that it's easy to just show up for a tournament and play. These coaches spend countless hours preparing practice plans, monitoring tournaments, figuring out how to give everyone a chance to play and stay competitive. Not to mention that on most teams, the coach still pays dues, travel expenses and often has to take a truck instead of a car to carry all the stuff.

 

[Eric F]

I coach because very few things are as enjoyable to me as helping a group of young athletes reach their own goals of success. Two of those athletes happen to be my DDs.

 

[coach james]

I do it for the love of the game, sure, but more so for the love of the kids. I keep it in perspective, and use this game as metaphor in teaching life lessons. Just last night I asked them "how many of you made the honor roll with out having opened their books?" no one raised their hands. So I then asked the follow up question "If making the honor roll takes hard work and the willingness to do home work, then why would you expect to find the same successes on the ball field without doing any home work or the same amout of attention to detail as it took to make the honor roll?"....scilence.
I remind them that their progress is alot like baking a cake or papa johns moto... better ingredients... If you want good results, you'd better have good preperation.
So, why do I continue to coach dispite all the negitives?(reread gunnershotguns post, its as if he and I coach the same team!) Good question. Hopefully I will have made a difference in some of them, maybe this experience will translate into their adult lives as a positive, and not just a ball coach when she was a teenager.

 

[FP26]

I coach for many of the same reasons that Slappers coaches. Taking a girl that was another coach's afterthought last year and watching her become the leading hitter on our team this year. Taking a girl that nearly gave up softball because of a previous situation/coach and giving her an opportunity to not only play, but be a significant contributor. Watching a group of players improve every single week and develop a deeper love of the game. It is not because of the coaches that these girls accomplished what they did. We gave them a chance, and then their hard work and dedication accomplished what they did. It is just great to be a part of it.

For what it is worth, I am a dad, and my daughter is part of the team. I understand the bad hype daddy coaches receive and I understand it in some cases. However, I don't think this is always the case.

 

[SCDad]

The vast majority of new coaches START coaching to give their DD an advantage.

For each advantage a coaches DD gets, another DD is placed down that same amount.

A few coaches are very fair. Others are trying to be fair, yet have rose colored glasses towards DD. Still others are blatantly biased for their DD.

I personally would put the percentages at about 33 percent in each of the 3 groups.

As a parent of a player who is not a coach (assuming 2 coaches per team). It is best if your player is not competing against a coaches DD. Or just accept a slightly lesser position and practice your butt off and become so good other teams want her at her preferred position.

It is not always a bad thing. Many times getting the short stick, yet playing regularly, will motivate a player. Only making her better.

Eventually the coaches DD gets theirs. When near adulthood, the players take care of much of it. They know and have their own ways to get it resolved. Eventually the coaches DD "has" to stand on her own. The sooner the better, because after a certain age a Daddy Coach usually becomes a hinderance to his/her DD.

Coaching is a very honorable thing. It is of great benefit to the game of softball. They have personally helped my DD in many ways I was unable. I am forever grateful. For little in life is FREE. Learn to always be friends with coaches. Learn how to play politics.

 

[CoogansBluff]

I think SCD is correct to acknowledge that a primary motivation for parents coaching is to help their kids. However, I think the percentage of those who objectively and fairly evaluate their daughters is much higher than one-third. I'd say it's higher than 75 percent. If you blatantly favor DD, you'll be out of business soon. Just because helping your daughter is a prime motivation doesn't mean you're not also very interested in helping other kids, too. It ain't that hard to be objective. IMO, at least half of daddy ball complaints are unjustified. Just because a parent in the stands thinks that a coach overrates his daughter does not make it true. Those in the bleachers aren't always objective either.

The biggest advantage of being the coach's daughter is not that DD will get the nod over another player for a position, but rather the fact that the direction of the team will be headed in the direction of the daughter's abilities and goals. If DD is the best pitcher in town and wants to play at the highest level possible, then the team will be moving at a fast pace, and lesser players will be left behind. If she's the 10th best player on the team, then coach isn't going to want the team to outgrow her. Everybody will bat. Everybody plays. Coach is not going to take the team in a direction that makes DD obsolete.

 

[SCDad]

I think SCD is correct to acknowledge that a primary motivation for parents coaching is to help their kids. However, I think the percentage of those who objectively treat their daughters is much higher than one-third. I'd say it's higher than 75 percent. If you blatantly favor DD, you'll be out of business soon. Just because helping your daughter is a prime motivation doesn't mean you're not also very interested in helping other kids, too. It ain't that hard to be objective. IMO, at least half of daddy ball complaints are unjustified. Just because a parent in the stands thinks that a coach overrates his daughter does not make it true. Those in the bleachers aren't always objective either.

My percents really are not far from yours. I am at 66 percent of Daddy Coaches trying very hard to be fair. By this I mean that to beat out a coaches DD for a particular position, a non coaches player must be better. If they are pretty close in talent well ...

That is all anyone could ask. Try hard to be fair.

Also for non coaching parents ... Politics comes from other areas. Particularly from the really great players. They have a bunch of influence too. It is important for a non coaching DD to be friendly to all, especially the great players. My DD has an innate knack for this. It has served her well, without me even being involved. Though some may put a negative spin on this aspect, but young players all need friends even if they may be great. As a player, be friendly even in an extremely competitive environment.

 

[softball88]

Easy...look at their smiles winning their first tournament ever at 8u

 

[FP26]

Easy...look at their smiles winning their first tournament ever at 8u

How could anyone not like a picture like that. This is what it is all about!