I think I suck as a parent....

My daughter just started lessons with a PC last week. She pitched for Nebraska, teaches IR, and their personalities really hit it off.....anyways.....

They had two sessions last week just to get a jump start on things. For warm ups, she has her jog a lap or two around the field, stretch, etc. She said "warm up to pitch by running and stretching...you don't pitch a ball to warm up to pitch." After that she has her pitch (k drills I think?) from a certain distance...then she backs up and steps out when she does the pitch etc. Working her way to a full pitch. Ok, now that I got that out of the way.

They had stations set up at practice yesterday for both 12u teams. So, DD and the other pitcher are at the pitching station. Well, one of the other 12u coaches asked them to warm up. DD does her warm up that her coach told her to do. The 12u coach didn't want her to do that. They wanted her doing straight arm wrist snaps, etc. like the other pitcher. DD told them "I don't do that because it creates bad habits and there's no point in doing something that I won't do in a game.) Well, he didn't like that. He told her that if she did what he said in warm ups that she'd be more consistent. He rode her for a few minutes. Her reply "I struck out your batters every time we scrimmage." Crap hit the fan then! He went to my DD's head coach and told HC that she's not listening and stuff like that. For the rest of the session, they just worked with the other pitcher. The coach brings up his best batter for live pitching. They each get 10 pitches. The other pitcher is throwing all over the place. DD's turn.... DD threw 10 pitches....all strikes. She just walked away.

I normally would tell her not to talk to any adult that way. Just be quiet and listen.....but, I just laughed for some reason. I guess if they guy wasn't such a jerk about the way he spoke to her.

truth time CBULLARD-

Almost every dad on this board has daughter who is a very good pitcher for her team/league/age etc. You would be wise to start getting humble about her skill quickly and to make sure that she shares in that humility and you do not send her signals that she is the next coming of Ray-Ray. She may be killing it where she is but unless she is the starting pitcher for a top national 12U org then there are a lot of girls that can pitch a lot better and a lot of girls that can hit the snot out of her pitching better to know that now and act accordingly then to accidently send out prima donna pitching vibes.

We have also by and large faced many situations where a coach has instructed our daughter to do something in warmups or practice that goes against what she has ben taught. The most effective way to deal with this to avoid drama is to have her simply say that she is being taught some specific things by her PC and ask if it is OK to follow her normal routine for team warmups. Few coaches are going to force a kid to do something if they ask nicely. If you do run into a megalomaniac who insists things are done his way then you can politely step in and request that since her PC is saying one thing, that you do not want to confuse her by doing it differently in practice. If they still are a jerk then draw a firmer line. Then there is always the smile and nod.

Sorry, if I was coming off that way. I don't think she's a phenom or anything like that. Honestly, I don't have dreams of her playing college softball or anything like that. As one guy said on the board, there's not a pot of gold at the end of this. We focus on her grades more than softball. If she decides she wants to try something, I look through resources to try to help as much as possible. This past Sunday she pitched against the top team and it was 1-1 through 4 innings. She got rocked in the last inning. She was hurt because she let her team down. I thought she did great. It's not that serious to me. If she came to me one day and said "I don't want to play anymore...I want to try tennis." It wouldn't bother me at all. Just have fun.

She's always complimented for being a nice kid....I think the coach came at her in a way that pushed her button. And when he criticized her for not doing it his way she had enough. She does what her team coaches tell her...also, I didn't laugh in front of her. She never knew I laughed. I just didn't let her know that I saw everything that happened and correct it.

The best thing you can do for your DD is have the PC come and watch. Then let the PC and the Coach have the conversation

She's your daughter....go ahead and think she is a phenom. I saw her videos and I think she is darn good. The trick is not showing it so they stay humble and hard working and making sure they learn that with people in authority you have to learn how to finesse the situation and not throw someone's ignorance in their face.

DDs had a new coach tell her to warm up by doing wrist flips and my daughter said "I don't do those" with just enough snottiness in her voice for me to give her a little lecture about the difference between "I don't do those" and "Is it OK if I use my normal routine? I have never done wrist flips"

LOL. I too have to laugh at the coach who brought a knife to a gunfight when he started a technical discussion he wasn't prepared for.

Every so often we have that talk that starts with: "I know that at your age being right seems like the most important thing....."

Thanks JJ for the advice and compliment. She really works hard. I'm sure she will want to practice tonight. I'm going to let her know that I saw it and suggest how to finesse the situation like you said.

The last interaction that my DD was having with her team coach - right after he had opened with "I'm going to change your fast ball motion tonight" - did not go so well. She almost snorted, but caught herself mid eye roll and bit her lip. But then when he asked her why she pulled the ball down instead of pushing the ball down instead of saying something about whip she said something like "well because the other way you aren't going to get any faster, you are going to get to about 50 mph and just get stuck there and I want to get faster". I almost died and fell down right there because his daughter is a huge bowler h/e pitcher.

It's hard when coach after coach you feel like you are beating your head up against a wall to continue to smile and nod. But we talked about not burning bridges, staying humble and being respectful on the way home. I need the talks more than her most days.

Classof2020, that is a funny story. It's a part of growing! DD's coaches in all of her sports compliment her on being coachable, being a great teammate, etc. This coach was just pushing her for 5-10 minutes straight.

Actually, her coach just sent me a text asking if DD is ok. She said the other team's assistant coach was being a jerk for poking wholes in her pitching because she didn't want to do wrist snaps. But, I'll still do what JJ suggested...that'll help long term.

But, I still enjoyed my laugh!