Academic snobbery

I have a friend whose daughter is the same age as mine. His daughter does not want to play softball in college. She's a very good student and a decent player but not really a college prospect.

The friend makes statements that indirectly put down college softball players and smaller schools of less academic renown. The tone is this - My daughter could play softball if she wanted to (which is presumptuous and a little insulting to all those who are actually working their butts off trying to do it), but she is not going some crappy school to do that (anything that isn't major division I or academically elite is crappy).

He doesn't put it that bluntly, but that's the message I get.

Does anyone else encounter this attitude? Is it a mistake to go to a lesser known school when you could just be a student at Oklahoma or Tennessee or UCLA?

For most, getting a marketable degree comes first. I think far too much emphasis is placed on where.

Nimrod said:

I have a friend whose daughter is the same age as mine. His daughter does not want to play softball in college. She's a very good student and a decent player but not really a college prospect.

The friend makes statements that indirectly put down college softball players and smaller schools of less academic renown. The tone is this - My daughter could play softball if she wanted to (which is presumptuous and a little insulting to all those who are actually working their butts off trying to do it), but she is not going some crappy school to do that (anything that isn't major division I or academically elite is crappy).

He doesn't put it that bluntly, but that's the message I get.

Does anyone else encounter this attitude? Is it a mistake to go to a lesser known school when you could just be a student at Oklahoma or Tennessee or UCLA?

Click to expand...

I love this thread. The first thing I will say no matter where your DD decides to go to school you will have parents make back handed compliments. I see it way too much. And those that make those comments do it thinking where their DD's situation is the "ideal". The thing my DD learned through this whole process is MAKE YOUR OWN DECISION. While this sounds obvious EVERYBODY will give you their unsolicited opinion. Through the process my DD was able to really look for what SHE wanted from a school and softball program. It took her a while. She did chase some schools that did not fit her but fitted what she thought others idealized. She decided over time for her it was an academically elite D3 program. But that is just her fit. But she generally gets one of two very different reactions from people when she tells them where she is going:

1) Wow that is a great school!! Congrats.
2) Ohhh you are going D3? You don't get athletic money right. This is usually accompanied with a deep sigh of profound and feigned sadness.

Getting reaction #2 used to bother her and she would go into defensive mode, now she just laughs and says yes it is D3. Now this scenario could be exactly reversed like it sounds in your case. Where a parent whose kid is focused academically makes some stupid comment about another school because it does not fit their scenario. So my advice to you is have your DD figure out what she wants in a school and to hell with what the neighbors think. There are so many ways to skin the cat and the only thing that matters is your DD find the place she will be happy and accomplish HER goals.

I think also the student is more important than the school. I know that some schools might be better than others and open doors, so I am not trying to minimize that, but I think when you get in the real world it will be about those who work the hardest and treat people the best. You have to have a marketable skill as you say but it is more important what experiences you get in the workplace and not what classes you attended.

I also hope there is real world value in playing on a college team.

It really depends on what the kids end goal is. As sluggers says all the time, there is no future in softball for 99.9% of the players so getting into a top school to have a career in your field of choice is very important for many professions especially if there is a lot competition for few good paying jobs. Also an undergrad education from an academically challenging school will help the student get into to top graduate schools. I used to work for a large professional services firm and they would only actively recruit on campus from the top universities. Right or wrong, that is the reality of the business world.

This guy may be a smuck and making excuses for his DD who couldn't play collegiate softball but the "career" of a softball player is over quickly and these young ladies need to be well prepared for what they will be doing the rests of their lives.

Rocketech1 said:

It really depends on what the kids end goal is. As sluggers says all the time, there is no future in softball for 99.9% of the players so getting into a top school to have a career in your field of choice is very important for many professions especially if there is a lot competition for few good paying jobs. Also an undergrad education from an academically challenging school will help the student get into to top graduate schools. I used to work for a large professional services firm and they would only actively recruit on campus from the top universities. Right or wrong, that is the reality of the business world.

This guy may be a smuck and making excuses for his DD who couldn't play collegiate softball but the "career" of a softball player is over quickly and these young ladies need to be well prepared for what they will be doing the rests of their lives.

Click to expand...

He's not a smuck, just a little snobbish on this particular issue in my opinion.

Based on what you're saying, are many college softball players making a huge mistake with their lives by going to Carson-Newman when they could go to Tennessee or even Vanderbilt?

Nimrod said:

He's not a smuck, just a little snobbish on this particular issue in my opinion.

Based on what you're saying, are many college softball players making a huge mistake with their lives by going to Carson-Newman when they could go to Tennessee or even Vanderbilt?

Click to expand...

Choosing a college is a complex decision and involves many factors like impacted major, small or large student population, reputation, location, affordability, etc so I cannot answer that question. But I will say that students need to evaluate what their long term goals are and how their short term goals fit their overall objectives.

Its funny you mention Vanderbilt because a close friends non softball DD got accepted to that college and a few other of her top choices and has to decide soon what college she will attend in the fall.

I agree with RT1 - there are too many variables (e.g. aptitude, goals, preferences, etc) for anyone to give a one-size-fits-all answer on which type of college to attend. Everyone needs to make the best informed choice they can for themselves.

My advice is to start by identifying the college options without softball. If they don't meet your academic needs, softball should primarily be used as a means to better academics (e.g. admissions, financial). If the non-softball options do meet your academic needs, then softball can be used to provide other benefits (e.g. financial, improved college experience).

Nimrod said:

I have a friend whose daughter is the same age as mine. His daughter does not want to play softball in college. She's a very good student and a decent player but not really a college prospect.

The friend makes statements that indirectly put down college softball players and smaller schools of less academic renown. The tone is this - My daughter could play softball if she wanted to (which is presumptuous and a little insulting to all those who are actually working their butts off trying to do it), but she is not going some crappy school to do that (anything that isn't major division I or academically elite is crappy).

He doesn't put it that bluntly, but that's the message I get.

Does anyone else encounter this attitude? Is it a mistake to go to a lesser known school when you could just be a student at Oklahoma or Tennessee or UCLA?

Click to expand...

you must know me. Sorry. Although I don't talk down other schools I do say that my dd could play college softball I'd she wants. But when I say it it's not to diminish your dd its to brag on mine.

chinamigarden said:

you must know me. Sorry. Although I don't talk down other schools I do say that my dd could play college softball I'd she wants. But when I say it it's not to diminish your dd its to brag on mine.

Click to expand...

I don't have a problem with what you're saying. It's not what you say, but why you say it.

Lots of kids can play college sports and choose not to do that. That is fine. Mine might be one of those some day. It only becomes annoying when it comes from a parent whose kid really didn't have the talent to play in college or was not willing to put the work in to find out, and/or from a parent who looks down on those who choose to play softball at a school that they think is beneath their own daughter.